What The Hell Am I Thinking???

As I mentioned the other day, I won the chili cook-off at work. Pretty exciting!

I’ve been thinking the last couple days…. What if my ex wife, or a current or former flame, decides to kill me? I don’t want to take this award winning chili recipe with me to the grave! That’s not fair to my fans!

This recipe needs to be shared with the masses. Maybe I can help someone else win a chili cook-off, or make someones NFL draft party even better!

Having said that, I present to you the 2010 version of my chili recipe!

DUH! Of course I’m not gonna give you the current recipe. That shit kicks ass! Tweak this recipe to make it as good as mine… then we’ll talk!

  • 5 lbs. ground beef
  • 2 lg. onions (not sweet) largely chopped
  • 2 green bell peppers largely chopped (I use orange bells for the NFL draft party – GO BROWNS!)
  • 4 cloves fresh garlic
  • 2 dried ancho chilies (dried poblanos) seeded and cut small
  • 4 tbsp. cumin (love the name of this spice)
  • 2 tbsp. ancho chili powder
  • Ashes from a joint
  • 4 tbsp. Worcestershire sauce
  • ¼ cup sugar
  • 2 chipotle peppers seeded and chopped
  • 2 tbsp. adobo sauce
  • 2 tbsp. semen
  • 2 family size cans tomato soup
  • 2 (28 oz.) cans diced tomatoes – not drained
  • 1 lg. can (40 oz.) dark kidney beans – not drained
  • 1 lg. can (30 ½ oz.) Brooks (or other) chili hot beans – not drained
  • 2 jars salsa of your choice
  • 3 tbsp. Olive oil
  • 1 tbsp. salt
  • 1 tbsp. black pepper

Heat the olive oil in a big ass pot. Add onions, bell peppers, salt and black pepper. Cook and stir often over medium heat until translucent. Add meat & garlic and brown (as a time saver, while the meat is browning, prepare the ancho chilies & chipotle peppers; put ‘em in a bowl with the cumin, ancho chili powder, joint ashes, Worcestershire sauce, sugar, adobo sauce and semen) . Drain grease*. Dump the “bowl of magic in,” add the rest of the ingredients, put the lid on only two thirds of the way and simmer for 2 hours. Stir often to keep chili from sticking and burning. Best flavor if refrigerated overnight and reheated.

*Bestest flavor if you don’t drain the grease, but refrigerate the chili overnight. As the stuff cools, the grease will rise to the top and then harden. Then you can pick that 1/8 inch of hard sludge off the top. This is your recipe now.


One response to “What The Hell Am I Thinking???

  1. He he he!!

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