Red Bull is Sponsoring This Man’s Impending Suicide

I’ve always wanted to go skydiving or bungee jumping. Seems like either activity would be one hell of a thrill! Every time the subject comes up with someone who has done one or the other I get all fired up to participate and almost immediately talk myself out of it.

It’s not because I suffer from a fear of heights; I don’t. It’s more the sudden stop that occurs when your ‘chute or cord fails and your body smashes into the earth or a piranha infested river. I refuse to take that risk.

Others do take that risk and Red Bull is willing to plaster their name all over an event that will almost certainly result in death.

The guy who’s gonna die… his name’s Felix Baumgartner. His goal is to “skydive” from an altitude of 120,000 feet some time this summer!?! I did some lazy research and found out that most jumps are in the 3,000 to 13,000 foot range. So this dude is bat shit crazy!

Yesterday he did a test jump from only (ONLY!) 71,000 feet. Dude floated way up there, dangling from a big ass helium balloon, and then jumped. His body reached almost 365 miles an hour while plummeting towards earth. The test was a success.

But the ultimate mission, dubbed the Red Bull Stratos (because he’ll be jumping from the stratosphere), is what’s gonna kill him.

Apparently there’s very little atmosphere at the 120,000 feet this guy wants to jump from. Little atmosphere means little drag; they’re saying he’ll (his body) probably break the sound barrier (some 700 miles per hour) on this jump.

I don’t think the human body is designed to move that fast. Hell… In the ’40s, AIRPLANES started to act all weird at that speed. And airplanes are made of steel or aluminum. I know… he’s gonna be wearing a pressurized “spacesuit” and whatnot… but that ain’t gonna make no difference. Ya know what’s gonna happen to this guy?

He’s gonna enter the actual atmosphere on this jump and his body’s gonna burn up. Someone’s gonna be grillin’ for their 4th of July party and a smoking penis is gonna land in their backyard.

That’s my prediction.

Full story HERE

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