Today’s Cornrowed, Irrelevant Axl Rose is a Wuss

Guns N’ Roses was one of my favorite bands ever. To this day I can put on any GNR tune and join right in; destroying my voice as I try to replicate Axl’s vocals. There is not a Guns N’ Roses song I don’t like*.

Though the lineup of Guns N’ Roses has changed numerous times since their formation in 1985, there is one group who made them freakin’ huge. That was the “classic” lineup of Axl Rose, Slash, Duff McKagen, Izzy Stradlin & Steven Adler (I’ll count Matt Sorum also, because he played on Use Your Illusion I & II).

In my opinion, had they not started to split up in ’93 and kept their shit together, they could have become one of the biggest acts in the history of music.

But they couldn’t get along because, in addition to various band members suffering with drug issues,  Axl was a little bitch all the time (so was Slash I’ve read). And ” classic” Guns N’ Roses died.

* I’m told that Guns N’ Roses has continued on with new members (Axl being the only original member) and actually recorded & released an album a few years ago. I heard a few of the songs off that album, called Chinese Democracy, and they were terrible. TERRIBLE! Those are not songs I sing, care to remember, or even give credit as being GNR.

Sooooo. Along comes December of 2011 and it’s announced that the “classic” GNR lineup will be inducted to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Woo hoo! They deserve it!

And in the words of Elton John….. THE BITCH IS BACK!

Axl Rose wussed out of being inducted into the Hall of Fame. Here is the letter he released yesterday (my comments included):

To: The Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame, Guns N’ Roses Fans and Whom It May Concern,

When the nominations for the Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame were first announced I had mixed emotions but, in an effort to be positive, wanting to make the most of things for the fans and with their enthusiasm, I was honored, excited and hoped that somehow this would be a good thing.

It is a good thing jackass. Like, once in a lifetime.

Of course I realized as things stood, if Guns N’ Roses were to be inducted it’d be somewhat of a complicated or awkward situation.

Not awkward; and definitely not complicated. It’s an awards ceremony. You fly to Cleveland for a day, get your award and fly back home.

Since then we’ve listened to fans, talked with members of the board of the Hall Of Fame, communicated with and read various public comments and jabs from former members of Guns N’ Roses, had discussions with the president of the Hall Of Fame, read various press (some legit, some contrived) and read other artists’ comments weighing in publicly on Guns and the Hall with their thoughts.

Why do you care so much what other people say or think, Axl? You didn’t care before.

Under the circumstances I feel we’ve been polite, courteous, and open to an amicable solution in our efforts to work something out. Taking into consideration the history of Guns N’ Roses, those who plan to attend along with those the Hall for reasons of their own, have chosen to include in “our” induction (that for the record are decisions I don’t agree with, support or feel the Hall has any right to make), and how (albeit no easy task) those involved with the Hall have handled things… no offense meant to anyone but the Hall Of Fame Induction Ceremony doesn’t appear to be somewhere I’m actually wanted or respected.

They want to induct YOU, bitch! And the other four guys who worked with you to create the best-selling debut album of all time in the U.S.

For the record, I would not begrudge anyone from Guns their accomplishments or recognition for such. Neither I or anyone in my camp has made any requests or demands of the Hall Of Fame. It’s their show not mine.

It’s their show. But it’s your legacy!

That said, I won’t be attending The Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame Induction 2012 Ceremony and I respectfully decline my induction as a member of Guns N’ Roses to the Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame.

You’re a freakin’ idiot. Could’ve been one of the biggest bands ever, then you do this? Your cornrows are clearly too tight.

I strongly request that I not be inducted in absentia and please know that no one is authorized nor may anyone be permitted to accept any induction for me or speak on my behalf. Neither former members, label representatives nor the Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame should imply whether directly, indirectly or by omission that I am included in any purported induction of “Guns N’ Roses”.

It would be awesome if the attending members bring a cardboard cutout of you on stage to accept the award, like The Grateful Dead did with Jerry Garcia!

This decision is personal. This letter is to help clarify things from my and my camp’s perspective. Neither is meant to offend, attack or condemn. Though unfortunately I’m sure there will be those who take offense (God knows how long I’ll have to contend with the fallout (ed. ~ wha wha whaaaa)), I certainly don’t intend to disappoint anyone, especially the fans, with this decision.

Dude…. the fans are who made you. I understand that you owe nothing to the them, but quit thinkin’ of yourself numb nuts.

Since the announcement of the nomination we’ve actively sought out a solution to what, with all things considered, appears to be a no win, at least for me, “damned if I do, damned if I don’t” scenario all the way around.

You use to many commas, Axl. By the way you also rival my parenthesis usage!

In regard to a reunion of any kind of either the Appetite or Illusion lineups, I’ve publicly made myself more than clear. Nothing’s changed.

Understood. I believe you’re not good enough to do what you did back then anyway!

The only reason, at this point, under the circumstances, in my opinion whether under the guise of “for the fans” or whatever justification of the moment, for anyone to continue to ask, suggest or demand a reunion are misguided attempts to distract from our efforts with our current lineup of myself, Dizzy Reed, Tommy Stinson, Frank Ferrer, Richard Fortus, Chris Pitman, Ron “Bumblefoot” Thal and DJ Ashba.

Again…. far too many commas, man! I gotta read your sentences three times to comprehend them. Damn…It’s like literary calculus! And there are eight members in the band now? What do you do… sub artists in and out like they’re soccer players?

Izzy came out with us a few times back in ’06 and I invited him to join us at our LA Forum show last year. Steven was at our show at the Hard Rock, later in ’06 in Las Vegas, where I invited him to our after-party and was rewarded with his subsequent interviews filled with reunion lies. Lesson learned. Duff joined us in 2010 and again in ’11 along with his band, Loaded, opening in Seattle and Vancouver. For me, with the exception of Izzy or Duff joining us on stage if they were so inclined somewhere in the future for a song or two, that’s enough.

Okay, OKAY! You and Slash don’t like each other. NO ONE DENIES THIS!

There’s a seemingly endless amount of revisionism and fantasies out there for the sake of self-promotion and business opportunities masking the actual realities. Until every single one of those generating from or originating with the earlier lineups has been brought out in the light, there isn’t room to consider a conversation let alone a reunion.

A “classic” GNR reunion would frighten me. Hell, when you guys were on top of the world you’d throw hissy fits and end up starting a show extremely late. Remember that time you got all mad when someone was videotaping you from the crowd? What would you do with 20,000 smartphone cameras pointing at your fat ass now?

Maybe if it were you it’d be different. Maybe you’d do it for this reason or that. Peace, whatever. I love our band now. We’re there for each other when the going get’s rough. We love our fans and work to give them every ounce of energy and heart we can.

I hate when women say “whatever”. It’s good to know you have a band member to love each one of your fans!

So let sleeping dogs lie or lying dogs sleep or whatever. Time to move on. People get divorced. Life doesn’t owe you your own personal happy ending especially at another’s, or in this case several others’, expense.

You and Slash were married? I did not know this. Now it all makes sense.

But hey if ya gotta then maybe we can get the “no show, grandstanding, publicity stunt, disrespectful, he doesn’t care about the fans” crap out of the way as quickly as we can and let’s move on.

Dear GOD are you a whiny little bitch!

No one’s taking the ball and going home. Don’t get it twisted. For more than a decade and a half we’ve endured the double standards, the greed of this industry and the ever present seemingly limitless supply of wannabes and unscrupulous, irresponsible media types. Not to imply anything in this particular circumstance, but from my perspective in regard to both the Hall and a reunion, the ball’s never been in our court.

“Guns N’ Roses” has absolutely SUCKED for the last “more than a decade and a half”. Fourteen years to write, record and release one fuckin’ album? I just looked it up… that’s one year per track on Chinese Democracy. Shit… the majority of the “classic” lineup wrote (except for “the Spaghetti Incident”), recorded & released five albums for a total of 63 tunes in only 8 years. That’s who the Rock Hall wants, knucklehead!

In closing, regardless of this decision and as hard to believe or as ironic as it may seem, I’d like to sincerely thank the board for their nomination and their votes for Guns’ induction. More importantly I’d like to thank the fans for being there over the years, making any success we’ve had possible and for enjoying and supporting Guns N’ Roses music.

You still can’t thank Slash, Izzy, Duff, Steve or Matt? They (and you!) are the reason that there’s a GNR today. Fuck you, Axl!

I wish the Hall a great show, congratulations to all the other artists being inducted and to our fans we look forward to seeing you on tour!!

Sincerely,

Axl Rose

Again.. FUCK YOU AXL for being such a bitch.

I leave you with this, my favorite GNR tune; “Coma” from Use Your Illusion I. The video is lacking quality but it’s fantastic none the less. Lots of meaning here…

One response to “Today’s Cornrowed, Irrelevant Axl Rose is a Wuss

  1. Asshole Rose… Hes always been and will always be… Never the biggest band… never even close to the best…

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