Homegrown Terrorism: Cleveland Style

On Monday, five idiots attempted to blow up a huge, highly traveled, bridge in a Cleveland suburb; about 10 miles from where I live. Obviously they were unsuccessful, as the FBI infiltrated their group months ago and monitored them right until the point when they tried detonating the “bombs”.

Now I’m not discounting the intentions of these guys at all. They wanted to kill people and disrupt commerce. If they had half a brain between them they could’ve done some real damage.

But these dudes were so freakin’ stupid.

Yeah…. some people are trying to place the blame on the occupy Cleveland wackos. They did participate in some protests and prolly pissed on each other downtown like the rest of the nutjobs who want to protest companies that create jobs out the ass. But these dudes were definitely on the fringe as they gravitated to violence.

That’s what got the FBI’s attention. Somehow this group of five invalids ended up in contact with a guy who would ultimately help them realize their dream of being terrorists. The guy who they were in contact with was an FBI informant, though; there was never any danger to the public.

Before the plot to blow up the bridge, they had mulled over other targets:

….ranging from schemes to blow up the Cuyahoga County Justice Center, the Federal Reserve Bank of Cleveland, the I-480 bridge in Valley View, and a cargo ship before settling on the Ohio 82 bridge, according to federal documents.

Other potential targets included the abandoned streetcar tunnels beneath downtown Cleveland, a Cuyahoga County Homeland Security operation called the Northeast Ohio Regional Fusion Center, an unidentified Ku Klux Klan location in Ohio, and the new Horseshoe Casino on Public Square.

But all were eventually discounted for a variety of reasons.

The gang’s bible, officials said, was the “Anarchist Cookbook,” a 1970 how-to book on building bombs using household items and dealing with police during riots. They also devised ways to cover their tracks electronically….

Apparently that didn’t work….

….and obtained computer programs they hoped would destroy their trail of internet searches.

Again…. didn’t work.

On March 22, the informant met with one of the dummies at an unidentified location.

“Tell me what all we need to make the bombs so that we can start gathering -” the informant is quoted in the affidavit as saying.

“Mainly bleach,” dummy replied.

“Bleach?” the informant said.

Yeah… Bleach? Washing whites tonight?

“You can make plastic explosives with bleach.”

I didn’t do any research on using bleach to make plastic explosives, but I don’t believe it. (I do remember, from the Terminator, that Kyle went to the grocery store to get all the stuff necessary so he and Sarah Connor could make pipe bombs. These wannabe terrorists must have watched that movie to get their ideas)

Six days later, while driving across the I-480 bridge, one of the other dummies asked, “How much do we need to take out a bridge?”

Rather than make their own bombs, the group eventually opted to buy C-4, a plastic explosive, plus bullet-proof vests and gas masks, for $800. What they didn’t realize was that the seller was an undercover FBI agent and the two bombs were fakes – inert devices constructed to look like the real thing, with wires, switches, and detonators that could be triggered by a call from a cell phone.

“The defendants went to the bridge last night,” FBI guy said at a Tuesday morning news conference. “The defendants planted the explosives at the base of a busy bridge. The defendants went to an off site location to arm the explosives, and the defendants then entered a code they thought would blow that bridge up.”

I bet the code was 1-2-3-4… and these numb skulls believed it… And what happened when they texted the code to the “bombs”?

Nothing…

So they called the FBI dude to find out if they had the right code. Then it was go time and they got arrested.

And they were indicted yesterday; with any luck they’ll go to jail for a long time.

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