Week Ten NASCAR Update ~ Danica Patrick and Tony Stewart are Bitches ~ with a Side of NHRA

I was pretty busy this past weekend and only now am able to provide my NASCAR update. I’ll include my NHRA (61 days ’til I go to the Summit Racing Equipment NHRA Nationals with my sister) update as well since eliminations took place Sunday.

NASCAR competed at Talladega Superspeedway this weekend. Talladega is a huge 2.66 mile track just north of Talladega, AL. It’s like Daytona on steroids. No… Actually it’s entirely different than Daytona. Different surface, different banking and different weather than in Daytona. Talladega is a beautiful track, though:

…but she destroys racecars:

And so do the idiot drivers who can’t control their tempers and wreck competitors… AFTER THE RACE!

Here we have Danica Patrick on Saturday, on the last lap of the Nationwide Series race.

She gets passed by Sam Hornish, Jr. for twelfth position. Sam had a problem with his car (cut right front tire) and drifted up in front of her highness. Danica hit the wall in an effort to avoid the crippled Hornish car.

What does she do after the race…? Plants him into the wall… Idiot, idiot, idiot, Danica. I hope you get fined for cash and points, like the guys do. And if you don’t get fined, that means NASCAR is more concerned about ratings, and your tits and ass, than driver safety.

As for the overall race, Austin Dillon qualified fifth. Tough race for the little guy as he sustained some damage in the pits during an early caution. He made his way up near the front only to get caught up in a multi-car accident on lap 117, which ended his race with a seventeenth place finish.  Danica qualified seventeenth and finished thirteenth. Not bad for Talladega, in my opinion.

Joey Logano won the race, edging out Kyle Busch by only .034 seconds at the stripe.

The Sprint Cup race wound up being a wreck fest; four cautions in the last 50 laps. Apparently the opening for the radiator is so small at this track that if the cars get into their tandem draft, in an effort to go faster, they overheat. So the driver in the rear has to push their “partner” and also stick the nose of the car in fresh air from time to time to avoid overheating. This causes wrecks.
As I said, Talladega destroys cars. But some of the drivers still bitch about it.
After most races, pit reporters can expect something humorous out of Tony Stewart. Win or lose, the guy is pretty funny most of the time. Sunday, during his post race press conference, I think he lost it. He began with this general statement:

We didn’t quite crash half the field, which is what we normally look to do here. I was excited about it. I thought it was a pretty good race. I made it further than I thought I would before I got crashed. I call it a successful day.

When asked about cars running out of gas sooner than expected:

I’m not quite sure what the fuel issue was, the racing was awesome. It’s fun to be able to race and have to watch the gauges at the same time. It makes us as drivers have to do so much more.

Stewart said he ran out of gas twice.

Being able to make yourself run on the apron and everything else to try to get clean air, it makes it fun. I’m sorry we couldn’t crash more cars today. We didn’t fill the quota for today for Talladega and NASCAR.

On the small opening for the radiator:

I think they need to close it down. Honestly, I think if we haven’t crashed at least 50 percent of the field by the end of the race, we need to extend the race until we at least crash 50 percent of the cars, because it’s not fair to these fans for them to not see any more wrecks than that and more torn-up cars.

Evidence that the sarcasm wasn’t caught by all, a reporter said to Stewart, “I can’t figure out if you are happy or you are upset, with your tone.”

 I’m upset that we didn’t crash more cars. I feel like that is what we are here for. I feel bad if I don’t spend at least $150,000 in torn-up race cars going back to the shop. We definitely have to do a better job with that.

His response to a question regarding his thoughts on the pack racing that happens at Talladega:

I think we ought to make it a figure-eight. I mean if we could make it a figure-eight it would be perfect. … That is going to be my vote next week, is that we make it a figure-eight and/or we can stop at the halfway, make a break and turn around and go backwards the rest of the way.

Then with 10 to go we split the field in half, and half go the regular direction and half of them go backwards.

When asked if he had fun:

Absolutely, I had a blast. It would have been a lot more fun if I could have gotten caught up in one more wreck. If I could have done that, it would have been perfect.

Suck it, Stewart! Quit being a bitch and drive. At least the other drivers who believe changes need to be made at Talladega, and there are, voice their opinions in a professional manner.

Dale had another decent race. He led ten laps in the first half of the race, but fell back later and never really contended for what could’ve been his first win in almost four years. Dude’s consistency is impressive thus far.

Anyhow…. Brad Keselowski won. He made a pretty aggressive move to break up the draft he had with Kyle Busch in turn three of the final lap.

That’s his second victory this year and 6th win in 99 starts. Not too shabby!

I almost forgot…. Kurt Busch’s team has had a hard time finding sponsors this year so, in an effort to draw attention to the car (and sponsors), they “painted” the car to look like Ricky Bobby’s car from the movie “Talladega Nights”. It. Was. Awesome!

It’s the one with the cougar on the hood!

Then he spun it out! But still a great looking car.

Talladega Nights Car

Numbers after week ten:

Austin…

Starts Wins Top 5 Top 10 Avg. Start Avg. Finish
8 0 4 6 5.2 8.0

Dale…

Starts Wins Top 5 Top 10 Avg. Start Avg. Finish
10 0 4 8 13.5 7.5

Danica…

Starts Wins Top 5 Top 10 Avg. Start Avg. Finish
8 0 0 1 17.6 20.9
As far as the NHRA goes…  it was yet another rough weekend for Courtney Force. I know, she’s a rookie this year and she has won some rounds. On Sunday, in Atlanta, Courtney won the first round decisively. Though she came off the line slower than Jack Beckman… she drove past him for the win.
In the second round, Courtney had to race her teammate, and winner of four races this year, Robert Hight. She actually got off the line quicker than Robert, but he caught up quickly and drove right by, thus eliminating her. She’s still tenth in points.. I just wanna see her win a race!
Next week, the NHRA is off… but it’s a huge weekend for our dear Danica! She’s not only racing in the Nationwide Series on Friday, but also the Sprint Cup race on Saturday. Her last Sprint Cup weekend was Daytona, when she wrecked everything she drove. So expect some crashes this weekend!
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