With Horseshoe Casino Cleveland Opening Shortly… My Thoughts!

Starting at 9:30 this evening, Cleveland will finally have a casino! Woo hoo! Ya know what that means to me?

Absolutely nothing.

I don’t gamble. I work too hard for my money to lay it down and, ultimately, have it taken away from me. Ask the guys I work with. They invite me to Hold ’em tournaments (through their church, so totally legal) just so my $50 gets added to the pot! I guess my downfall was that I never really listened to Kenny Rogers… don’t know what to do and when. I was shocked to make it a couple rounds the last time!

And Blackjack? There’s some money to be made there… but it all comes down to luck.

I’ve been told your best shot at winning is card games and I suppose if I put some effort into learning the nuances of the games I’d have a better success rate… or lose money slower!

But slots machines? Those things are an insult to my intelligence. One of the times I was in Vegas for a tradeshow for work I tried one of ’em; for about 17 seconds. They use all the lights, sounds and buttons to attract those who have the intellect of a three year old. Didn’t hold my attention at all…

See what I mean? A slot machine is nothing but a glorified lottery scratch off… there is no strategy. It’s 100% chance.

Speaking of lottery scratch off tickets… I wish part of the Ohio casinos deal had a clause in it that would’ve removed all those Ohio Lottery scratch of tickets from gas stations and convenience stores. I hit the store to quickly grab a couple things and get stuck in line for twelve minutes waiting for Gertrude to pick 27 different tickets with the $5 she just won on “Luck o’ the Draw”.

They should put those kiosks that you can buy scratch offs from between the banks of slot machines. That way, when you lose interest in the Star Wars machine you just pumped $67 (BUT I WON $20!) into and the Wheel of Fortune machine begins beckoning…

… that reminds me! I think every Vegas casino has the stupid Wheel of Fortune machines. I’d be fifty yards away from them and, about every five minutes, hear “Wheeeeeel OF Fortuuuunneee!” Ugh! It took three days away from Vegas to shake that noise from my head!

Anyway… I voted for casinos in Ohio. I’m glad we got ’em! I believe they’ll help the state from a financial standpoint; provided the politicians don’t mess it up. At the very least they’ll keep people from going to bordering states to gamble and, instead, allow them to blow their cash here, in Ohio.

For sure I’ll go check out Horseshoe Cleveland sometime… and probably soon. The pictures of it I’ve seen thus far have been quite impressive. And it can only make downtown a bit better, right?

Now the ones who are gonna go to Vegas will continue to go to Vegas. That choice is simple..

There:

Or here:

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