Sexy Saturday ~ In Which I Apologize to Brooklyn Decker

Back in May I published a Sexy Saturday post in which I compared Kate Upton to a few Victoria’s Secret models. Kate, as a Sorts Illustrated model, is not like those VS ladies in that she’s not just skin and bones with a big rack hanging’ off ’em! She’s put together the right way.

Little did I know that my tiny blog would offend another Sports Illustrated swimsuit model who, coincidentally, did some side work as a Victoria’s Secret model. A couple days ago, I received an email from Brooklyn Decker. Brook and I have had an on-and-off relationship for a while. Here is our correspondence:

My Dearest Greg,

I wish you would respond to me. I haven’t heard from you in so long. I understand you’re busy with your girls and their sports and all but, c’mon, you can’t spend 30 seconds to email or text me?

And then you did a blog post about Kate Upton last month comparing her to those girls from Victoria’s Secret. I feel like you were comparing Kate to me. Yes, I did some work for Victoria’s Secret but it was very limited… They didn’t like me because you couldn’t see my ribs; I told you that!

Greg, I’ve been asking you for months to feature me in your blog, but you never do. How am I going to get more exposure if you don’t help me like you said you would? Do you like Kate more than me? Is that what it is? She’s dating that terrible NFL quarterback, Mark Sanchez, while I patiently wait for you to respond to me.

I’m not going to keep waiting for you. Please get a hold of me (I mean that literally!).

XOXO,

Brook

Here’s my response:

Brooklyn,

I’m sorry I haven’t gotten back to you. Yes… I’ve been busy with the girls and their sports; and also with work!

I’ve told you repeatedly about Diane, the girl I’m in love with, but you never seem to get it. I even emailed you a couple weeks ago to tell you that the girls and I were going out to Pennsylvania for Memorial Day to hang out with Diane and her girls. You must have missed the email. 

Anyway… I’m gonna post some pictures on here to help get you the exposure you desire. I hope they help to catapult you into super-stardom! If you don’t mind, I’m gonna put up the one in which I painted the map on you (Shhhh.. we both know where the X is on the map!).

~ Greg

This was tough to paint! She kept moving around! X marks the spot!

She briefly points at the X

And a few other shots…

Took this shot at Edgewater Park in the CLE!

Enjoying Lake Erie….

Brook was doing cartwheels at Edgewater… couldn’t get my camera to zoom out!

And then at sunset…

Next morning…. since I like the female ass…

People…. believe it or not, there is a nicer ass out there than Brooklyn’s… But she doesn’t get paid for it, unfortunately… and if I had a picture of it I’d keep it to myself anyway!

2 responses to “Sexy Saturday ~ In Which I Apologize to Brooklyn Decker

  1. i love brookLyns ass, the female ass is the most amazing thing on earth

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