Week Fifteen NASCAR Update ~ Danica was Off, but Managed to Crash at a Charity Race!

Oh where to begin? Might as well start with Danica’s big crash. I predicted it! Last Wednesday, she participated in an annual charity race held at Eldora Speedway in Rossburg, Ohio; The Prelude to the Dream. It’s a clay racetrack which, I assume, is not much different than racing on ice. The cars are pretty much sideways all the way around the track. It was fun to watch especially since the main event was only 40 laps, so it was short and kept my attention the entire time (NASCAR races are typically 200-500 laps depending on the venue and can sometimes get boring).
Danica crashed in her heat race; they ran four short heat races of 6-7 cars to determine the starting position for the main event. She fell to the back and then crashed because, well, racin’ is hard!
They got her car patched up for the main event, but she immediately fell to the back to stay out of trouble…. getting lapped three times by eventual winner, Kyle Busch.

In Danica’s defense, she’s never raced on dirt and, for this race, it didn’t really matter how well anyone did as all proceeds go to charity for this race.

Back to NASCAR! The Nationwide Series was off this week, so no action from Austin and Danica.

Yesterday’s Sprint Cup action took place at Pocono Raceway in Long Pond, PA. Now this leads me into a quick geometry lesson for all the dolts who say NASCAR always goes in circles.

1.) Of all the tracks the series competes on, not a single one is a circle:

2.) Most tracks are of the of the tri-oval variety…. basically a paper clip shape in which one long side of the paper clip is stretched out to make two turns more sweeping thus creating higher speeds:

3. Some of the older tracks are, literally, paper clip shaped (we’ll call those ovals):

There are a couple road courses which have no real shape and are a combination of lefts, rights, varying straightaway lengths and elevations.

Then there is Pocono… a big ass, 2 1/2 mile triangle! Pocono has three completely different straightaways, all ending in equally unique turns. Apparently it’s a bitch for NASCAR teams to set up their cars for this track even using data from previous years. And it was repaved before yesterday’s race, taking out old dips and bumps and making the track faster than ever.

I felt a little bad yesterday… my buddy from work, Brent, was in Las Vegas for the Pacquiao vs. Bradley fight (I don’t follow boxing, so I had to look up their names… found out the winner of the fight, Bradley, only won because of a terrible split decision) and asked me who would win the NASCAR race, as he was gonna bet on it. I did a little research and came up with Kyle Busch. I was all fired up, because I knew I was right and Brent’s $40 bet would’ve won him $360 and he would buy me a lap dance at Christie’s upon his return to Brunswick.

Then Kyle Busch’s stupid Toyota motor blew up early on in the race. Ugh! Sorry Brent!

I didn’t watch a lot of the race very intently as my dude, Carl Edwards, got caught up in some problems during the first few laps, got caught speeding in the pits and really wasn’t much of a contender all day, though he finished eleventh because he’s that good!

22 year old Joey Logano won the race… after a nice battle with 53 year old Mark Martin. I was really pulling for Mark as he hasn’t won a race since 2009, when he won five! But Joey pulled an aggressive bump and run maneuver on lap 156 of 160 to take the lead from Mark and never looked back.

Dale Jr. Started in 8th, ran a solid race, and finished in 8th… and he drives the 88! Lot’s of eights there!

Numbers after week fifteen:


Austin Finished Third in the charity race!

Starts Wins Top 5 Top 10 Avg. Start Avg. Finish
12 0 6 9 5.3 7.5


Starts Wins Top 5 Top 10 Avg. Start Avg. Finish
14 0 5 11 14.0 7.9

Danica (not pictured, Sofia Vergara? Because I can)…

Starts Wins Top 5 Top 10 Avg. Start Avg. Finish
12 0 0 1 15.4 21
Okay… here goes! I’m going out on a limb here, but am really confident about it. NASCAR is racing at Michigan on Saturday and Sunday.
I predict… oh this is so difficult… I predict that Danica will win the Nationwide Series race on Saturday! Why? NASCAR needs her to win for continued revenue! Michigan is a very simple track to race at, from what Jeff Gordon told me. So this is her chance to do it!
The NHRA will be racing in tropical Bristol, TN this weekend. They call it “Thunder Valley” because it’s so loud. And it is!
Hug your children and love them every day…
 Related Posts:
Week fourteen
Week thirteen
Week twelve
Week eleven
Week ten 

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