“HEY CLETUS, Junior Dun Won Hisself a Race!” ~ Week Sixteen NASCAR Update

Woo hoo… what an exciting weekend! NASCAR was only a few hours away in Brooklyn, Michigan. Mitt Romney was here yesterday for a Father’s Day campaign stop,  and the NHRA was in Thunder Valley, a.k.a Bristol, Tennessee!

As far as NASCAR goes,  Michigan is where I had my live NASCAR cherry popped! It’s a two mile track that is freakin’ huge and incredibly loud!

Being at a live race makes it so difficult to keep track of who’s where on the track, so you are forced to rely on the big ass scoring pylon to keep things straight!

And another thing…. for any other sporting event, the ideal seats are down low, and close to the action. This is not true at NASCAR races. Ya wanna be way up high, to hopefully see the entire track!

Our first seats at Michigan were four rows up from the track. I was so excited! I could see the drivers up close during their introductions! Then the race began…  I could see the cars coming down the backstretch at nearly 200 miles an hour, then they would enter turns 3-4, where we were sitting, and all 43 cars would be gone in maybe 4 seconds! THE GROUND SHOOK when they passed! It was fascinating, but it was all too fast to keep track of your favorite driver, however!

One of the coolest things about sitting so close to the track, as pointed out by my ex-wife, was the fact that there were little flecks of rubber from the cars’ tires all over our shirts, hands, faces, beers…. you name it. That rubber flies off them tires in the corners to a distance of at least thirty feet! It’s AWESOME! I guess you have to be a race fan to appreciate that!

Anyway…. here’s a look at Michigan International Speedway:

Saturday’s Nationwide Series race seemed pretty good. I was more involved with my youngest daughter’s 5th birthday, however, so I didn’t pay too much attention. I did see Danica Patrick spin out on the first lap. Why? Because I’m certain she was applying eyeliner! Seriously, though, she spun out again near the middle of the race and then late after contact. She finished 18th and was the last car on the lead lap, which is surprising considering all her screwups… Ugh… she’s terrible!

Mowing the lawn….

Austin Dillon qualified fastest, winning the pole, then finished fifth. Dude knows how to wheel a race car; except when Danica is around…. she confuses him. He was involved in her second incident, well, not really involved; he got within a couple feet of her left rear and she just went WOOP and spun! I wonder what the other drivers think about Danica… Not only do they have to race their cars like everyone else; the have to keep an eye out for her tight ass spinning across the track.

Joey Logano won… again! This win makes it his 5th of the year in the Nationwide Series… in 11 starts! That’s some good drivin’!

No, Danica, this spin was by design; t’s called a victory burnout…

I watched most of yesterday’s Sprint Cup race… then fell asleep for a bit… but HOLY SHIT DALE EARNHARDT JR. WON! It’s been four years since dude won a race!

I’m genuinely happy for him! Seriously… I’m not being sarcastic at all here, folks! I’m glad his fans have stuck with him. He’s like the most popular driver in NASCAR and has been struggling. It’s good to see him back in Victory Lane!

Sadly… we won’t see this pose for another four years! HA HA Sucka!

Next week, NASCAR goes to Sonoma, California. A road course! So for those of you who pick on NASCAR because they only turn left… Not the case this time. They will have to turn right as well!

Numbers after week fifteen:


The work the pit crews perform… simply amazing!

Starts Wins Top 5 Top 10 Avg. Start Avg. Finish
13 0 7 10 5.0 7.3


‘The Dark Night Rises’ graphics are pretty cool!

Starts Wins Top 5 Top 10 Avg. Start Avg. Finish
15 1 6 12 14.2 7.4

Danica (pictured in Danica’s stead, Jessica Biel’s ass. Oof! Jess is gonna get her own post!)…

Starts Wins Top 5 Top 10 Avg. Start Avg. Finish
13 0 0 1 14.6 20.8
The NHRA racing from Bristol was terrible…. Actually the racing was good, as always. It was the results… Courtney Force and her teammates John Force, Mike Neff & Robert Hight…. ALL eliminated in the first round. I hope they got all that losing out of their systems! The NHRA is off next week, they go to Chicago in two weeks… and in 20 days?? They’ll be in beautiful Norwalk, Ohio for the Summit Racing Equipment Nationals! And you know who’s gonna be there also? ME! And my sister, Alicia & her boyfriend! A Force car needs to win in our presence; preferably Courtney.

Sadly… I think John Force makes her roll her fire suit down… None of the other drivers do this.. Wait…. That’s not sad!

Hug your children and love them every day…

Related Posts:

Week fifteen
Week fourteen
Week thirteen
Week twelve
Week eleven
Week ten 

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