Week Seventeen NASCAR Update ~ The Matt Kenseth Farewell Tour Begins : (

I did not watch any racing this past weekend… at least not live; I had more important stuff going on! I got all caught up last night and it was a pretty decent race weekend.

Before I get into the races, I have to mention Matt Kenseth. News broke today that, after fourteen years, Matt is leaving Roush-Fenway Racing at the conclusion of this season. I was bummed upon hearing this.

I met Matt back in 2001; a week after Dale Earnhardt died at Daytona. Actually, my oldest daughter, Alexis, and I met him. She was two months shy of her fourth birthday and we went to the Cleveland Auto Show specifically to get an autograph, as Matt and NASCAR’s meth head Jeremy Mayfield were signing. We waited in line for four hours! We got an autograph with Jeremy, who was a dick… then we get to Matt, who was coming off a solid rookie season; he was the coolest dude ever… He and I talked like we knew each other. I was holding Alexis, who was wearing a Kenseth shirt and hat, and she interrupted our conversation. She blurts out, “Matt, I don’t want you to die too (referring to Dale Sr.).” Matt and I look at each other and dude was immediately as teary eyed as I was. Matt told Alexis, “That’s not gonna happen.” He then asked me to stand Alexis on the table, gave her a big hug, signed her shirt and hat… and then security moved us along. It was one of the coolest experiences of our lives. Matt Kenseth is a good dude!

It’s a shame that Jack Roush can’t lock Matt into a contract. I understand that NASCAR is a business just like any other sport. I hate to see him go. And if he ends up in a non-Ford race car, it’ll bug me even more.

Matt Kenseth is currently leading the points in the Sprint Cup series. Man, I hope he wins it all this year, to give Roush-Fenway his second championship!

Oh well. The Nationwide and Sprint Cup series split up this weekend. Nationwide raced at Road America, a road course,  in Elkhart, Wisconsin.

This picture must scramble the simple brains of you NASCAR haters who say they go in circles!

Austin Dillon had mechanical problems, specifically losing third gear, that relegated him to the rear rather quickly. He put a ton of effort into practicing for Saturday’s race and I feel bad that something broke in the transmission. He qualified 23rd and finished 18th.

But Danica, I feel really bad for her. She ran a virtually flawless race and, on the final lap, while in third place, got rammed in the ass (not like that… he hit the rear of her car and she spun) by a dude named Jacques Villeneuve. She ended up twelfth after getting spun out.

Some Brazilian dude, named Nelson Piquet Jr. won the race. This dude:

I don’t ever associate Brazil with NASCAR. Isn’t that where coffee and cocaine come from? Most importantly, when I think Brazil I think Brazilian women’s volleyball ass…

OKAY….Back to racin’! The Sprint Cup Series raced at Sonoma Raceway in Sonoma, California on Sunday. Again, I did not watch this race. I listened to it on the radio for a few hours on my way back from Pennsylvania. HOLY CRAP! Listening to NASCAR on the radio when they’re racing on an oval is brutal… But a road course like Sonoma?

They have a reporter in each of the twelve turns… so the coverage keeps on changing… It’s horrible!

I didn’t even look up how well Dale Jr. did, aside from looking at his stats. I see he qualified 19th and finished 23rd. It’s not surprising, as he’s not the sharpest knife in the drawer. If ya force too much racing on him I think he just drools and stutters!

Clint Bowyer Won on Sunday! I like that dude, though I feel bad for his changes in sponsors lately. He was driving the Jack Daniels car, then got switched to Cheerios and won on Sunday in the Five Hour Energy car! It doesn’t matter. Dude kicked ass!

Next week, both NASCAR series’ will be racing in Kentucky. Friday night for Nationwide and Saturday night for Sprint! I love night races! They’re dark!

Numbers after week sixteen:


Starts Wins Top 5 Top 10 Avg. Start Avg. Finish
14 0 7 10 6.3 8.1


Starts Wins Top 5 Top 10 Avg. Start Avg. Finish
16 1 6 12 14.5 8.4


Starts Wins Top 5 Top 10 Avg. Start Avg. Finish
14 0 0 1 14.3 20.1

The NHRA was off this past weekend, but they’re on their way to Chicago as we speak! And the week after? I’ll be live at Summit Motorsports Park in Norwalk, OH to watch some drag racin’, get some pictures and smell some nitro methane! Can’t wait!

WAIT! No boobs or ass in this post, just because Danica did well? Not a chance! Here is a picture I took of Jessica Biel the other day at Hinckley Park. She has an alright ass… second only to one!

Hug your children and love them every day…

Related Posts:

Week sixteen
Week fifteen
Week fourteen
Week thirteen
Week twelve
Week eleven
Week ten 

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