Monthly Archives: July 2012

I’m Way Late on this One ~ But Obama is a Terrible President

For starters, none of the commentary in this post was coordinated with or approved by the management of the company I work for. This is all, as usual, me talking.

I was gonna comment on this a couple weeks ago, but got sidetracked and forgot about it. As Barack’s misleading campaign commercials continue to piss me off, this issue came back into focus…

On July 13th, President (and I use that term loosely) Obama gave a speech in Roanoke, Virginia in which he basically attacked small business owners, told them they didn’t build their businesses without government help and said they need to pay even more taxes. The transcript of his remarks is on the White House website, HERE. I cut out the first 4,000 words in which he sucked off his followers.

What follows is the part where he lambasted business owners… in context. Everything I cut out was Obama fluff… Again, click the link above to read the entire text. But you won’t… especially if you’re a lazy liberal who only does what your told and can’t think on your own…

My comments are bold and not in italics.

THE PRESIDENT:  Well, first of all, like I said, the only way you can pay for that — if you’re actually saying you’re bringing down the deficit — is to cut transportation, cut education, cut basic research, voucherize Medicare, and you’re still going to end up having to raise taxes on middle-class families to pay for this $5 trillion tax cut.  That’s not a deficit reduction plan.  That’s a deficit expansion plan. 

     I’ve got a different idea.  I do believe we can cut — we’ve already made a trillion dollars’ worth of cuts.  We can make some more cuts in programs that don’t work, and make government work more efficiently.  (Applause.)  Not every government program works the way it’s supposed to. What government programs are you gonna cut? You already used the scare tactic words transportation, education, research and Medicare. Nobody is gonna cut those…. but what do YOU propose? And frankly, government can’t solve every problem.  If somebody doesn’t want to be helped, government can’t always help them.  Parents — we can put more money into schools, but if your kids don’t want to learn it’s hard to teach them.  (Applause.) BOOOO! You douche!

This video starts with the following text and continues through the end…Watch it, libs, it’s unedited.

But you know what, I’m not going to see us gut the investments that grow our economy to give tax breaks to me or Mr. Romney or folks who don’t need them.  So I’m going to reduce the deficit in a balanced way.  We’ve already made a trillion dollars’ worth of cuts.  We can make another trillion or trillion-two, and what we then do is ask for the wealthy to pay a little bit more.  (Applause.)  And, by the way, we’ve tried that before — a guy named Bill Clinton did it.  We created 23 million new jobs, turned a deficit into a surplus, and rich people did just fine.  We created a lot of millionaires.

BULLSHIT is right…. The government doesn’t create millionaires…at least not in the private sector… 

     There are a lot of wealthy, successful Americans who agree with me — because they want to give something back.  They know they didn’t — look, if you’ve been successful, you didn’t get there on your own.  You didn’t get there on your own.  I’m always struck by people who think, well, it must be because I was just so smart.  There are a lot of smart people out there.  It must be because I worked harder than everybody else.  Let me tell you something — there are a whole bunch of hardworking people out there.  (Applause.)

If you were successful, somebody along the line gave you some help.  There was a great teacher somewhere in your life.  Somebody helped to create this unbelievable American system that we have that allowed you to thrive.  Somebody invested in roads and bridges.  If you’ve got a business — you didn’t build that.  Somebody else made that happen. 

I’ve gotta cut in right here, because this is where Obama really screwed up. He said, “If you’ve got a business, you didn’t build that. Someone else made that happen.” How so, you idiot?

I work for a company that was started by one man who had a vision back in 1985. Maybe he had a teacher that inspired him. I’m pretty sure it wasn’t a government funded public school, however.

In short, dude had an idea to write a software program that would allow construction companies to better manage their finances and, ultimately, become more profitable and efficient in their day to day processes. 

Initially, he was R&D, sales and support. He grew the company enough to hire a programmer, who is still with us today. Ronald Reagan and his administration had nothing to do with any of this… Obama would like you to think the government helped, though…

Today, our company now has upwards of three thousand construction companies using our program, operating efficiently and profitably from here on out. 

I’m not putting the rest of the Obama comments on here… he’s a jackass and I’d prefer to put something on here that I like, which is women…. Like I said before, liberals, click on the link above to read the full text of his silly speech. I know you won’t read it, though! For those of you who are patient…. here is former porn star Bibi Jones.

She keeps sending me pictures like this…. GO! Go away!

 Hug your children and love them every day

The 2012 Edition of Cleveland Browns Training Camp is Underway ~ And I’m Goin’!

It’s that time of year folks! Browns training camp started back on July 25th for rookies… and the entire squad on the 27th!

Our scout team will be descending upon Berea this Saturday for a full pad practice; this includes Brent, Scott, Garett & myself!

On Friday, though, and through this past weekend I got most of my camp updates from twitter as I was on vacation. But yesterday evening I started some more serious research.

As is usual, the local media is still trying to fire up the ole quarterback controversy; this year between the short, weak, concussed Colt McCoy and the built-like-an-NFL-QB, rocket armed Brandon Weeden.

There will be no QB controversy this year, so you’re wasting your time Mary Kay Cabot!

See how creepily Mary Kay is looking at me? Oh you just wait ’til I’m in Berea on Saturday… try to control yourself as I walk by!

Weeden will be named the starter and McCoy will end up in Jacksonville because Blaine Gabbert looks like me playing QB… in my bare feet… after a couple beers!

Anyway, here are some other players I’d like to get a look at on Saturday…

Trent Richardson (RB)…

I don’t need to evaluate T-Rich on Saturday. I already know he’s gonna be a stud. I’ve seen his highlight reel and posted it on here. He, and don’t laugh at me without watching his highlights, plays like Adrian Peterson. Dude’s fast, cuts well, and does not shy away from contact. I also think he blocks better than AP… but that’s just me. We shall see, but just look at this dude:


Montario Hardesty (RB)…

Oh Montario! You with the ligaments seemingly made of spaghetti! UGH! The Browns selected Hardesty in the second round of the 2010 draft. He tore his ACL after 6 nice carries in a preseason game against Chicago. Out for 2010. Last year he suffered other injuries which I’m too lazy to look up right now, but wasn’t a factor.

This is Hardesty’s first healthy camp. I hope he remains healthy. With the above two RBs, the Browns will have a serious ground game..


But we can’t run on every down! So the future hall of famer, Weeden, needs someone to throw to, right?

Josh Gordon (WR)…

Oops… THIS is Josh Gordon…

I’m sorry… I couldn’t help myself. But Josh likes his weed… hopefully he’s done with all that because dude is a physical specimen. Because of his off the field problems in college, Gordon could end up being a steal for the Browns. He entered the NFL supplemental draft instead of playing this year. Had he played in school this year, rumors are he’d be a


Travis Benjamin (WR)…

Every team needs that little speed receiver. I’ve seen his teammates tweet about him being the fastest on the team. I’ve seen his highlight reel as well and because of that, I’ll continue to compare him to Philly’s DeSean Jackson… without the diva attitude.

More on Browns camp later….

Hug your children and love them every day

Week Twenty Two NASCAR Update ~ Danica Patrick is NOT Overrated!

Again… I’m a little late on this one; but with good reason. The girlies and I were out in Pennsylvania from Monday through yesterday afternoon visiting Diane and her girls. Needless to say, I didn’t watch this weekend’s races because I didn’t want to. Period. So I got caught up last night by watching them on fast forward!

The Sprint Cup and Nationwide Series raced at the 2 1/2 mile, nearly rectangular, Indianapolis Motor Speedway on Saturday and yesterday, respectively.

This joint:

I’ve got to tell you about the early, pre-NASCAR, history of this track, because it’s pretty interesting. Let’s go bullet point for this, shall we?

  • Construction of the track started in March of 1909.
  • The original surface consisted of basically much tar & gravel mixed together.
  • The first event held there was a freakin’ helium balloon race!?!? This race took place while finishing touches were put on the track, grandstands and other facilities. Some 40,000 people showed up to watch balloons “race!” Boy what I wouldn’t give to live in 1909 when balloon races drew bigger crowds than my Cleveland Browns do today!
  • There were motorcycle races on August 14th of 1909. That didn’t work out too well, as the track surface didn’t hold up.
  • On August 19th of 1909 cars raced on the track… go ahead and look it up, because I’m too lazy right now, but drivers, mechanics and spectators died during the three day event; because of the shitty gravel/tar surface that came apart when you looked at it wrong.
  • Since the gravel/tar surface obviously wasn’t going to work, Indy ownership decided to pave the entire track with bricks; 3,200,000 bricks to be exact.
  • Indianapolis Motor Speedway is currently a paved track, with the exception of a 3-foot wide strip of the original bricks making up the start/finish line. This configuration earned Indy it’s current name: The Brickyard.

Alright… on to the racing action! Saturday’s Nationwide Series race was the inaugural event for that series at Indy. My boy, Austin Dillon, qualified seventh and ended up with a fifth place finish. He was pretty lucky at one point; dude damn near hit a tire on pit road which would’ve seriously crippled his car. But he’s a great driver so he knows what he’s doing.

Danica, on the other hand, continues to be downright horrible. She qualified twentieth, which is really no big deal because Indy is a big track and you can move up through the field…. if you have a clue, that is. But she doesn’t have a clue. She got into a wreck with Reed Sorensen early in the race….

… taking herself, and Reed’s beautiful Mustang, out of contention; and the race…

If Danica sucks as much off the track as she does on it, her husband is well taken care of, if ya know what I mean!

When I started this comparison of Danica, Dale Jr. and Austin I initially called Danica overrated. She’s not overrated, her stats prove that. She’s rated as a below average driver. I believe she’s over hyped. The media calls her a superstar driver, NASCAR features her in commercials as a force to be reckoned with. Go Daddy has us watch commercials hoping she’ll make out with Jillian Michaels….

They aren’t gonna make out! TRUST ME… I’ve gone to for the “unedited content”.  It’s the same commercial!

Danica Patrick is a whore and Go Daddy, and NASCAR, are pimping her out. As long as her sponsors make money they’ll continue to fund her and her lack of skills whether she crashes or merely manages to finish a race.

Brad Keselowski won the race…

…. and he didn’t just kiss the bricks after he won, which is a tradition at Indy… he tongued ’em! Brad… You’re gross!

As far as the Sprint Cup Series goes…. Dale Jr. Qualified twentieth, just like the aforementioned Danica, and finished fourth. FOURTH! Jr. actually took over the points lead yesterday! Will he win the championship? NO! He’s too dumb! Trust me on that one, I’ve watched his interviews.

Jimmie Johnson won yesterday. GOD I dislike that dude! Perhaps I should explain why at some point… For now, I’ll just say he’s a cheater. So is his crew chief, Chad Knaus… and his sponsor, Lowes? Cheating cheaters!

This as actually a very cute picture….Jimmie and his daughter…

Numbers after week twenty two:

Starts Wins Top 5 Top 10 Avg. Start Avg. Finish
19 1 11 15 8.0 6.9


Starts Wins Top 5 Top 10 Avg. Start Avg. Finish
20 1 9 15 14.6 8.0

Danica… (not pictured, because she’s too busy suckin’…. Instead…. Poppy Montgomery. TWICE!)

Can I hold that for you, Poppy?

Starts Wins Top 5 Top 10 Avg. Start Avg. Finish
19 0 0 1 13.9 20.4

NHRA? I may just do that update tomorrow!

Hug your children and love them every day

Related Posts:

Week twenty one
Week twenty
Week nineteen
Week eighteen
Week seventeen
Week sixteen
Week fifteen
Week fourteen
Week thirteen
Week twelve
Week eleven
Week ten 

Guest Post by Jordan ~ To Write Love On Her Arms

I’ve told numerous people that if they want to tell a story, counter one of my views, have a better idea for Sexy Saturday or would just like to write about a subject that is dear to them; they’re more than welcome to use this platform. Jordan is the first to take me up on my offer.

I mentioned her in my post the other day; thanking her for chaperoning my daughter, Alexis, and six other kids (Shane…. I apologize, you’re no kid. RESPECT!) to the Vans Warped Tour in Columbia, Maryland. Again, Jordan, I thank you for your help on Tuesday. I can count on one hand the people who I would entrust with my daughter’s safety.

Here’s a little background on Jordan. I had been talking with Jordan’s Mom, Diane (yes, people, that Diane), in May of 2010. I received from Diane, possibly by mistake because I live 362 miles away, a Facebook invite to Jordan’s graduation party on June 5th of 2010. I went anyway, and thank God, because that trip changed my life.

Throughout the two plus years since that first meeting, I’ve gotten to know Jordan pretty well. She is a beautiful, humorous, caring, strong young woman who is larger than life; not unlike her Mom and sisters. She works hard, plays hard, laughs out loud and lives life to its fullest. My daughters love and respect her. I love and respect her. Hell…. I can’t think of anyone who doesn’t view her in a positive light.

But… with a huge personality like Jordan’s, the lows can be as extreme as the highs. She’s currently struggling with some issues in her life, but facing them head on with a ferocity that would impress anyone. She’s gonna come out on top like a boss! I know it in my heart!

Jordan wanted to speak to those who may not know where to turn, or shy away from fighting their issues head on. Here’s Jordan in her own words:

In America, there are 18 million people diagnosed with depression. Depression is a disease that doesn’t segregate who it affects; it affects people of all different races, genders, ethnicities, etc. Without treatment, these cries for help are often silenced by suicide.

Many people don’t want to admit that they are sad, or even that they need help. They lean toward self-injury. These people are silently crying out for some way to resolve their pain, they are lost and in need of guidance.

But where do they go? They don’t want to look like the crazy person who hurts themselves; they don’t want to be judged any more than they already are…Then they find hope in organizations like this:

These organizations are to show that someone who is hurting is never alone.

To Write Love On Her Arms is an organization that promotes healing and seeking treatment before depression gets ahold of people’s lives. They are there to show that you are not the only person going through this, that there are others.

This year is the Fears Vs Dreams theme. TWLOHA sets up stands at music festivals, concerts, and just about anywhere to show that everyone has a fear that holds them back from a dream they want to live. They encourage you to write it down on papers that they supply to show the world what you are going through.

If you notice that someone is hurting, encourage them to seek help. There is help out there; depression is beatable with the right treatment. Before anyone loses someone because they thought there was no way out, there is. Let them know that they are not alone.

We here in Brunswick, Ohio love you Jordan, as do a lot of others! Thanks for coming here to forshiggles to lend a helping hand!

Hug your children and love them every day

Sexy Saturday ~ Lingerie Edition

I’m on vacation. I wrote this on Friday but had it auto post now to make it look like I’m working.

The most beautiful woman I know is upstairs sleeping, and I’m on here searching for pictures of women in lingerie…This ain’t right!

Anyway, Thursday night, while we were enjoying taco night, I asked for a theme for today’s Sexy Saturday. The overwhelming response (from 8 women and me and Shane) was to do a lingerie post, though Shane wanted me to do a Shane post… not today, but stay tuned for that one, ladies (and alternative men)!

Anyway… here’s some lingerie on women…

Can’t forget my girl, Jennifer Swift…

And here’s the first Angelina Jolie sighting at forshiggles…

And another first…. Carmen Electra and her sparkly ass!

Ooooh! Salma Hayek!

Damn… I forgot about Alyssa Milaano…

I know this ain’t lingerie, but it’s more Alyssa Milano, so deal with it…

I’m done here for tonight… gotta go snuggle with that beautiful woman I mentioned earlier…

Before I go…. here’s one for the ladies and non-traditional male readers…It’s Shane!

Enjoy the rest of your weekend folks!

Hug your children and love them every day

Modern Technology Allows Bullies to Bully from Afar!

I’ll explain to you the reason for that headline in a bit, but for now…

WE’RE ON VACATION! Yes… for the first time since 2009 I took an entire week off work, loaded up the girls and got out of town. No,we didn’t head out to the beach or Disney as those trips are not in the budget..

Instead, we packed up the trunk of the Jetta and came out here to tropical Hanover, Pennsylvania to spend some time with Diane and her girls.

Normally, trips here are merely a weekend jaunt so time off work is kept to a minimum, but since we’ve got the time we made it a whole week!

Let me go back to the part where I said “packed up the trunk”. See, when I come out here by myself, it’s my one bag and myself. When my three girls come, they bring a total of five bags of clothes, pillows and blankets, and all their own shower stuff; this includes no less than 10 bottles of shampoos, conditioners, body washes & face wash. It’s insane!

Anyway, we departed Brunswick Monday morning. The drive is 362 miles and takes around 6 hours; including a couple quick stops (my personal record is 5 hours 15 minutes; no stops, because I’m awesome). My girls travel extremely well, by the way. There is minimal bickering and, overall, we have a great time on these mid-range trips.

I normally just take the Ohio turnpike to the Pennsylvania turnpike all the way out here but decided this time we’ll take a partial scenic route and get off the PA turnpike about 100 miles early. Delana was a bit pissed because we only got to go through one of the four tunnels that are on the normal route.

What happens when you avoid three tunnels? MAYHEM… that’s what. Now, instead of driving through the mountains, I had the pleasure of driving over and around them. And when I say pleasure, I mean it! I love driving up and down steep grades and around treacherous blind curves. The only problem is the idiots on the road.

Before you get off the turnpike at the Route 30 exit there are signs warning about the hills and curves. AFTER you exit the turnpike there are signs that say, “If you take Route 30 east,  you have a 30% chance of not making it up a hill or, worse, dying going down the other side.” Real truck drivers are aware of this and avoid the area if they can. But not Leo here (I’m assuming his name is Leo based on the license plate on the car):

It’s difficult to see from here, but this dude had a piece of shit motor home pulling this car. After three hills he could barely make it up (we were as slow as 5 mph at times), he finally pulled off to the shoulder to let myself and the nine cars behind me pass.

After that it was smooth sailing, through Gettysburg, into Hanover. Elapsed time for the drive: 6 hours on the nose.

So Monday evening we all just chilled out, ate some pizza & salad and crashed to get ready for Tuesday’s festivities.

Tuesday was entirely about the kids. The main reason we planned this trip for this week was so Alexis could go to the Vans Warped Tour in Columbia, MD… which is about an hour away. We all got up early, got ready, piled all the kids in two vehicles and dropped off Alexis, Becky, Chris, Dakota, Damon, Nikki and Shane under the watchful eye of Jordan at the mall across the street from the freak fest.

I almost forgot to mention… this entire day was put together by the ringleader… Diane. Through a friend, Diane was able to secure eight VIP passes for the kids. These passes allowed them back stage access to any band they wanted.



Freaks like these… Motionless in White…




Watch it… the freak in this one is in the background, Chris Motionless. That’s Alexis up front!

This was Alexis’ first concert… and she had a back stage pass. She also got in the mosh pit and crowd surfed; had an absolute blast. We went back to Columbia after the show and escorted them back, safely, to Hanover.

I can’t thank Jordan enough for looking out for Alexis, and the rest of the kids, all day. She kept them safe and organized throughout the event. For Jordan to pull that off, like a boss, MUCH RESPECT!

And this leads me to the reason for the above title…

Next morning, I start getting text messages from Alexis’ mother, clearly happy that her daughter had a great time at her first concert. Alexis’ mom’s texts are sic’d because, well…

Alexis’ mom: Hey talked to alexis today, heard she was in the pit yesterday at the concert…did u stay there with them?

In dealing with Alexis’ mom, I have to use the least amount of words possible to convey my point, otherwise she finds other angles from which to bully me.

Me: No.

Here we go….

Alexis’ mom: Ok, do u think that was a good decision to make, letting our 15, year old daughter go to a concert with out an adult? I was under the impression that you were going too.

The aforementioned Jordan is an adult. She is responsible, intelligent, caring and very trustworthy. Also, the plan to go to this concert was put together a couple months ago. I told Alexis’ mom that Alexis would be in Jordan’s care when she goes. There was never any implication that I would go to that freak show! I respond, again, with minimal words.

Me: She was with an adult.

Alexis’ mom: Not an adult I knew…it is what it is can’t change it.

I’m getting a bit aggravated here. Just because you don’t know someone makes them untrustworthy; or not an adult? So I had to use more words (remember, this opens up more angles to be bullied from)

Me: She was with an adult I know and trust. Don’t try to make her feel bad because she went. She had a great time.

I’m pretty much done at this point as I’ve said all that is necessary to convey my thoughts.

Alexis’ mom: I have not said anything to her about this, I know she had fun, talked to her this morning…

Again, I’m done talking about this and I know you talked to Alexis this morning because that’s what your first text started with….BUT…(remember…I used more words so can expect more bullying). HERE GOES angle number two!

Alexis’ mom: Oh and remember the whole not letting the kids come home early because Chris was there, same thing.

OH SNAP! Same thing? You just compared a well planned day in which seven kids and Jordan were escorted by us down to Columbia, MD for a concert in which Jordan supervised…then escorted back by us safely to Hanover to:

Me dropping off our 15, 11 and 5 year old daughters off at your place while some 40 year old dude you’d been seeing for maybe two weeks was still there from the night before??


More to come from this PA trip… Stay tuned!

Hug your children and love them every day



Hey Cletus, “Dere’s a racin’ track in Chicago?” ~ Week Twenty One NASCAR Update + NHRA

Yeah, but the hillbillies aren’t allowed in the city… While the Sprint Cup teams were idle this week, the Nationwide Series rolled into Chicagoland Speedway, which is about 45 miles southwest of Chicago in Joliet.

To be honest, most of the race was quite boring and I was more interested in the live NHRA action I discovered. That’s right…Until Sundat, I always thought ESPN3 was a cable channel I didn’t have. Now, I have a pretty nice channel lineup from DirecTV, so I looked online to see what’s up with this ESPN3 the drag racers talk about on twitter. I’m such an idiot… ESPN3 IS A WEBSITE that features live streaming video. Live NHRA can be pretty boring itself when the track workers have to tend to the track between rounds or after crashes…

I know.. not the best video quality, but it’s what I could find. Terrible accident, but Paul Pittman was fine. Notice, at the top of the track, how the safety crews are moving about a second after the car becomes sideways.. The NHRA has fantastic trackworkers… dubbed the Safety Safari.

I guess since I’m on the NHRA, I might as well stick with it and swing back around to NASCAR. All four John Force Mustangs made it through the first round of elimination. It becomes a bit tricky for round two, as Courtney has to race her teammate, brother-in-law and current points leader Robert Hight (I think there’s a lot of inbreeding at John Force Racing…!).

Round two: Mike Neff loses his race, John Force wins his and Courtney takes out Robert. Two Force cars left for round three…

Round three: Here’s where I made a bold prediction: If John and Courtney both win their races and face each other in the finals, Courtney will win her first trophy. How do I know this? Because it’s his daughter! He’ll blow it right at the line so she can win. He’s done it in the past… Didn’t work out that way, however… John lost his race to Jack Beckman via an extremely rare red light. A red light situation is basically when the driver starts to soon. In this race, he left .005 of a second too soon. Not noticeable to the naked eye… but the timing equipment doesn’t lie. Courtney kicked Ron Capps’ ass in her race. She got off the line quicker and ran away from there… textbook win! So Courtney is off to her second final!

Funny Car final: Courtney got off the line quicker over Beckman (In the past, Courtney has struggled with her reaction time off the line. She is clearly improving and will win a race soon) but her car appeared to be a real handful as she was all over the track. All that driving she had to do allowed Beckman to catch and pass her at the stripe. He beat her by .0091 seconds; 4 feet! Again, Courtney is heading in the right direction..

BACK TO NASCAR.. As usual, Danica ran a very pedestrian race. She started thirteenth, hung around all day and finished fourteenth; last car on the lead lap. That’s actually a win for Danica….because she didn’t crash twelve times!

Austin Dillon had a typical Austin Dillon race. Started second, stayed with the leaders all day and finished sixth. Bold prediction: If he continues to do well, which he will, look for him to move up to the Sprint Cup Series driving the old number “3” of the late Dale Earnhardt. The black “3” of Dale Sr. hasn’t seen the track in NASCAR’s top series since he died in it on February 18th of 2001.

Elliott Sadler won the race. Apparently he was sick for several days before the race, and during, and battled through that to win. That’s impressive, as these cars are a bitch to drive when healthy. Regardless, Elliott talks real funny because he’s from Virginia. I enjoy trying to figure out what he’s saying…


Numbers after week twenty one:

Starts Wins Top 5 Top 10 Avg. Start Avg. Finish
18 1 10 14 8.8 7.1

Dale… (Not pictured… instead, one of my favorite pictures of Diane & myself)

Starts Wins Top 5 Top 10 Avg. Start Avg. Finish
19 1 8 14 14.3 8.3


Starts Wins Top 5 Top 10 Avg. Start Avg. Finish
18 0 0 1 13.6 19.6

Hug your children and love them every day

Related Posts:

Week twenty
Week nineteen
Week eighteen
Week seventeen
Week sixteen
Week fifteen
Week fourteen
Week thirteen
Week twelve
Week eleven
Week ten 


Very well said, my friend. I believe you just motivated me…

My Blog is Too Sexy

As of right now, I have 100,505 views of this little blog ~ in just under ten months. Compared to real blogs, I’m certain that’s not a lot of traffic. However, it’s a lot of traffic to me!

It appears as though I’ve written my blog into a corner… But what a sexy corner it is! See, a whopping 80% of my “readers” arrive here after searching for pictures on Google. What, or who, are they searching for, you ask? Here are the top ten search terms people typed in to Google and found forshiggles (I attached the corresponding pics):

Kate Upton

Sofia Vergara

Adam Levine

Kim Kardashian

It’s funny… This is the only picture I’ve put up of Kim. I personally think her ass is gross; but it comes in at number four of all time…

Jessica Biel ass

Courtney Force

On the right….C’mon now! she’s a race car driver!

Jennie Finch

Erika Eleniak

Kate Upton boobs

Heather Kozar

Can you believe, for all the yapping I do about Danica Patrick, she comes in at number eighteen? Shocking!

It’s obvious that very few people come here for my writing. I’m an okay writer, I guess. Perhaps I need to diversify a bit more.

I am grateful that a lot of people found this blog by searching Hurler’s Syndrome. They then moved on to my friend’s site that details the struggles his family endures  while his twin boys battle this terrible genetic disorder. Did they donate money? I dunno… I sure hope someone did!

I also got a lot of traffic from people searching for the names of the four Brunswick children killed in the horrible accident on June 3rd of this year. I asked for help. A lot of people clicked over to the site that, at the time, was selling t-shirts to raise money for the families. Did they buy a shirt, or donate, to help out. Again, I dunno… I can only hope.

It’s 5:00 am and I need to get some sleep. It’s sort of funny, some of the big time bloggers I read talk about writing while in their underwear. This is the first time I’ve done it and, ya know what, it’s quite wonderful! I should do it more often!

Always remember…. Hug your children and love them every day

The Ghost Chili Debacle

Last year, my buddy Chad gave me bhut jolokia (ghost chile) seeds.

It was late in the season, but I planted them anyway and ended up with a pretty nice pepper plant. By fall, the plant had produced four chilies that weren’t yet mature. Due to cooling temperatures, I had to bring the plant inside the house (FYI… pepper plants are perennials and will live several years if brought indoors to escape the brutally cold Ohio winters) .

The four chilies had to mature under incandescent lighting. Once they appeared ripe, I plucked them off the plant, stuck ’em in a freezer bag and froze ’em!

Well, back in February, we had our annual chili cookoff at work. I removed one of the ghost chilies from the freezer and incorporated it into my recipe. I won the chili cookoff… prolly because of that pepper!

Now this year…. that same bhut jolokia plant has been outside since May. There are 28 chilies on it…one of which is ripe!

Here is my dilemma. Is this chili gonna be super hot because I picked it right off the plant and never froze it? What do I cook it with? I’m thinkin’ about makin’ a western-style omelette with it!

Any other recipe ideas will be greatly appreciated.

Stay tuned….

Hug your children and love them every day