Week Twenty Two NASCAR Update ~ Danica Patrick is NOT Overrated!

Again… I’m a little late on this one; but with good reason. The girlies and I were out in Pennsylvania from Monday through yesterday afternoon visiting Diane and her girls. Needless to say, I didn’t watch this weekend’s races because I didn’t want to. Period. So I got caught up last night by watching them on fast forward!

The Sprint Cup and Nationwide Series raced at the 2 1/2 mile, nearly rectangular, Indianapolis Motor Speedway on Saturday and yesterday, respectively.

This joint:

I’ve got to tell you about the early, pre-NASCAR, history of this track, because it’s pretty interesting. Let’s go bullet point for this, shall we?

  • Construction of the track started in March of 1909.
  • The original surface consisted of basically much tar & gravel mixed together.
  • The first event held there was a freakin’ helium balloon race!?!? This race took place while finishing touches were put on the track, grandstands and other facilities. Some 40,000 people showed up to watch balloons “race!” Boy what I wouldn’t give to live in 1909 when balloon races drew bigger crowds than my Cleveland Browns do today!
  • There were motorcycle races on August 14th of 1909. That didn’t work out too well, as the track surface didn’t hold up.
  • On August 19th of 1909 cars raced on the track… go ahead and look it up, because I’m too lazy right now, but drivers, mechanics and spectators died during the three day event; because of the shitty gravel/tar surface that came apart when you looked at it wrong.
  • Since the gravel/tar surface obviously wasn’t going to work, Indy ownership decided to pave the entire track with bricks; 3,200,000 bricks to be exact.
  • Indianapolis Motor Speedway is currently a paved track, with the exception of a 3-foot wide strip of the original bricks making up the start/finish line. This configuration earned Indy it’s current name: The Brickyard.

Alright… on to the racing action! Saturday’s Nationwide Series race was the inaugural event for that series at Indy. My boy, Austin Dillon, qualified seventh and ended up with a fifth place finish. He was pretty lucky at one point; dude damn near hit a tire on pit road which would’ve seriously crippled his car. But he’s a great driver so he knows what he’s doing.

Danica, on the other hand, continues to be downright horrible. She qualified twentieth, which is really no big deal because Indy is a big track and you can move up through the field…. if you have a clue, that is. But she doesn’t have a clue. She got into a wreck with Reed Sorensen early in the race….

… taking herself, and Reed’s beautiful Mustang, out of contention; and the race…

If Danica sucks as much off the track as she does on it, her husband is well taken care of, if ya know what I mean!

When I started this comparison of Danica, Dale Jr. and Austin I initially called Danica overrated. She’s not overrated, her stats prove that. She’s rated as a below average driver. I believe she’s over hyped. The media calls her a superstar driver, NASCAR features her in commercials as a force to be reckoned with. Go Daddy has us watch commercials hoping she’ll make out with Jillian Michaels….

They aren’t gonna make out! TRUST ME… I’ve gone to godaddy.com for the “unedited content”.  It’s the same commercial!

Danica Patrick is a whore and Go Daddy, and NASCAR, are pimping her out. As long as her sponsors make money they’ll continue to fund her and her lack of skills whether she crashes or merely manages to finish a race.

Brad Keselowski won the race…

…. and he didn’t just kiss the bricks after he won, which is a tradition at Indy… he tongued ’em! Brad… You’re gross!

As far as the Sprint Cup Series goes…. Dale Jr. Qualified twentieth, just like the aforementioned Danica, and finished fourth. FOURTH! Jr. actually took over the points lead yesterday! Will he win the championship? NO! He’s too dumb! Trust me on that one, I’ve watched his interviews.

Jimmie Johnson won yesterday. GOD I dislike that dude! Perhaps I should explain why at some point… For now, I’ll just say he’s a cheater. So is his crew chief, Chad Knaus… and his sponsor, Lowes? Cheating cheaters!

This as actually a very cute picture….Jimmie and his daughter…

Numbers after week twenty two:

Austin…
Starts Wins Top 5 Top 10 Avg. Start Avg. Finish
19 1 11 15 8.0 6.9

Dale…

Starts Wins Top 5 Top 10 Avg. Start Avg. Finish
20 1 9 15 14.6 8.0

Danica… (not pictured, because she’s too busy suckin’…. Instead…. Poppy Montgomery. TWICE!)

Can I hold that for you, Poppy?

Starts Wins Top 5 Top 10 Avg. Start Avg. Finish
19 0 0 1 13.9 20.4

NHRA? I may just do that update tomorrow!

Hug your children and love them every day

Related Posts:

Week twenty one
Week twenty
Week nineteen
Week eighteen
Week seventeen
Week sixteen
Week fifteen
Week fourteen
Week thirteen
Week twelve
Week eleven
Week ten 

2 responses to “Week Twenty Two NASCAR Update ~ Danica Patrick is NOT Overrated!

  1. At theexpense of sounding like you…..you’re a dick.

    • You need to expand on that, Manny. Thanks for visiting and, yes, I am a dick, but if you’re gonna call names, at least back it up with some substance…

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