I’ve Lettin’ Y’all Down by Fallin’ Behind on My NASCAR Updates ~ Week 24 & 25 Combo!

Sorry NASCAR…. NFL football and my Cleveland Browns get the front seat on here. Additionally the weekend of August 11th, you all raced at the boring road course that’s located in Watkins Glen, New York. You know what that area is like? Liberal douchebags and weed!

Perhaps I should get more excited about road racing, but I don’t. Anyway, here’s the short version! On Saturday, while putting on mascara, Danica Patrick wrecked on the second lap; finished dead last. Austin finished a dismal 23rd. He did, however, finish on the lead lap!

My boy, Carl Edwards won the race! Here he is coming out of a right hand turn, and into a more conventional uphill left hander…

Nice Lookin’ “Mustang” Carl!

And when Carl wins a race he performs a celebratory backflip! Do you know where he learned to do backflips? For a while there he was banging Olympic swimmer and seven time medalist, Amanda Beard. My sources tell me she taught him all kinds of kinky stuff, including backflips.

On Sunday, Dale Earnhardt Jr. Finished 28th, which doesn’t surprise me, because he’s dumb as a box of rocks not good on road courses. Some Australian dude, Marcos Ambrose, won the race. This had nothing to do with my most recent Sexy Saturday post, though I guess it all dovetails nicely!

This past weekend, the two series’ split up. On Saturday, the Nationwide Series raced at yet another road course in Montreal, Canadia, called Circuit Gilles Villeneuve. No pictures of it, because it’s Canadian.

This race really pissed me off! When I turned it on, Danica had led her fourth lap and went on to leading 20 or so laps before some jackass Canadian threw a fuckin’ shoe on the track. I was truly excited for her because I thought she might’ve pulled off a win finally, but that wasn’t the case because the shoe apparently wreaked havoc on her car. Here’s the video:

I love it when hot women swear like that! Unfortunately, the damage to her car netted her a 27th place finish. Austin finished 9th! Illinois native Justin Allgaier won the race, so screw you Canadia! I only say that because there were a couple of Canadian drivers in the field who were really jackass drivers.

On Sunday, the Sprint Cup Series raced in Michigan, a state that should probably be sold to Canadia at some point! It was a pretty typical race for Michigan, except for the fact that Mark Martin escaped death in a freak accident…

Had the car hit about two feet back, I believe Martin would’ve been seriously injured or possibly killed. Thank God it wasn’t worse…

Dale Jr. finished 4th and Brookie’s favorite driver, Greg Biffle, won the race! He’s on the same team as my boy Carl Edwards, so I was happy!

Numbers after week 25:

Austin:

Starts Wins Top 5 Top 10 Avg. Start Avg. Finish
22 1 11 16 9.3 8.1

Dale…

Starts Wins Top 5 Top 10 Avg. Start Avg. Finish
23 1 10 16 14.7 9.8

Danica… (Not pictured…. Here’s Carl Edward’s ex-girlfriend, Amanda Beard and her sensational ass)

 

Starts Wins Top 5 Top 10 Avg. Start Avg. Finish
22 0 0 1 14.1 21.3

Hug your children and love them every day

Related Posts:

Week twenty three
Week twenty two
Week twenty one
Week twenty
Week nineteen
Week eighteen
Week seventeen
Week sixteen
Week fifteen
Week fourteen
Week thirteen
Week twelve
Week eleven
Week ten 

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