Already Freakin’ Out about Tomorrow ~ Week Two ~ Browns @ Bengals

My pregame thoughts:

Last week, the Ravens and their no huddle offense absolutely OWNED the hapless Bengals. After that 44-13 loss, Cincinnati is certain to have a chip on their shoulder  when the hapless Browns come to town tomorrow.

Here are my major concerns…

O Line ~ You guys pretty much need to step up your overall performance this week. Mainly, though, make some holes for T-Rich! You didn’t do that last week! I’ve no doubt he’ll tear some shit up if y’all will help him out. Know who else you guys need to help out?

Weeden – I don’t believe Weeden is as shitty as he looked last week. That’s not a joke. It’s rare for a rookie to fire shit up in his first 60 minutes of professional football. That’s the first time he saw real game speed. I have faith that he’ll adjust. Just protect him so he can get the ball down field. Oh.. I know.. To who??

The WRs ~ Holy shit Greg Little!!! Why can’t you catch a football? JESUS, get it together or I’m gonna kick your big, athletic black ass! And Travis Benjamin… you’re so incredibly fast. Get off the line… Double move… Separation… Catch the ball… BOOM!… T-fuckin-D! MoMAss, watch your head concussion boy! Gordon, c’mon MAN! Run the correct routs and GET OPEN!

Coach Shurmer ~ Call some real football plays! How about some screen plays to get T-Rich out in space? Or stretch the field instead of those god awful 4 yard slants? Wanna play Madden with me? I’ll show ya how it’s done!

Coach Childress ~ See above. I may have mistakenly directed my anger at coach Shurmer. Wake up fucker!

Coach Jauron ~ I love, love, love you! Keep up the good work with your our young defense!

Cincy’s A.J. Green ~ Shit… Who’s gonna cover your ass tomorrow? With Haden out, for his first of four games, because of taking Adderall (Taking Adderall = raping 2 women… Bullshit!) you might just be running free all day tomorrow. Unless you sprain your ankle tonight! Or tomorrow! You ever hear about what T.J. Ward did to Jordan Shipley a couple years ago?

That’s YOU tomorrow A.J.! Lights out motherfucker! Be afraid. Be VERY afraid!

GO BROWNS!

Hug your children and love them every day

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