Sexy Saturday ~ Settle Down… This is Art!

Hoo boy! Alexis’ homecoming dance is this evening! I wrote this post last night, so who knows what state I’m in today.

I really don’t have anything to do today, other than provide transportation. She has an 11:00 am appointment for eyebrow waxing and hair fixin’. Then it’s pretty much wait ’til about 5:00, go take some pictures, drop ’em off at 6:00 and pick ’em up at 9:30.

Poor kid has been a wreck, starting about 3:00 yesterday. WHY?

AIRING DIRTY LAUNDRY ALERT…

See, on Tuesday, Alexis and I went to find some shoes to go with the dress her mom satan picked up for her last weekend. After a couple of hours of us bouncing around the mall to various stores, she finally found a pair she liked! MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!

Oh… but it wasn’t! Apparently, satan didn’t like the shoes Alexis picked out and went shopping to find a different pair of shoes.

So because of the vindictive, evil, amiable, friendly satan, Alexis is now faced with a choice: Have me, Mr. Easy Going, return the shoes I bought, or have satan, who freaks out if the kids don’t clean the house well enough for another one of her parties, return the shoes she bought.

Alexis chose to return the shoes I bought, knowing I wouldn’t freakin’ pop off and make her feel bad.

BUT MOM SATAN BOUGHT THE WRONG SIZE! That is why Alexis was freaking out yesterday afternoon. Shoes don’t fit and (at the time) she needed someone to do her makeup (NOT me… because I’ll make her look like a raccoon or burn victim if I do her makeup).

Well, as of last evening, everything fell into place as  Mom of the Year satan said she’d swap the shoes for the correct size, and we got the hairdresser to handle the makeup in addition to the rest of the beautification process.

Enough of this complaining, right, so let’s get on with the sexy, shall we?

Before I get into that, however, I want to put yet another of Alexis’ works of art on here…

That’s an interesting Ariel, eh? Well, my child is interesting!

That gave me an idea…. Sexy mermaids! What did Google search provide me with?

Oh my…. that picture needs a little touching up… 

…..here we go!

Much better!

Here’s another one!

That’s Kelly Brook….as a mermaid! For the short time she’d be able to survive on land… it would be difficult for her to get away from me! Perfect!

Personally, I prefer this version of Kelly…

Yes… those are real! Click for zoomage!

I remembered this picture of Marisa Miller that always reminded me of a mermaid, though it’s clearly not…

I mean, a mermaid doesn’t have an ass like that, right? Shit… I don’t think any woman has an ass as perfect as that one (actually, I do know of one). But mermaids are like fish from the waist down; not the ass crack, so this is certainly not a mermaid photo shoot. Like this…

For the record, I’ve never been a fan of Daryl Hannah, so here’s more Marisa…

Annnnnnnd….

Anyone who knows me knows I despise iProducts and Apple Inc. But in the example above, you’d definitely find me reaching for that iPod!

Okay, so we’re gonna be off in a bit to get Alexis all done up for her dance. I’d like to give a shout out and big e-HIGH FIVE to Lauren Greco for taking care of Alexis’ eyebrows, makeup and hair…

If you’re in the Cleveland, OH area, gals and guys, hit up Lauren at TRUbeauty for all your beautification needs! Check out and ‘Like’ her page HERE.

Enjoy the rest of your weekend, folks!

Hug your children and love them every day

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