IMPORTANT DISCLAIMER: I really hate airing my dirty laundry but, dammit, I gotta vent sometimes. This week has provided an up and down struggle and, ultimately, my best friend decided that it’s best if she and I don’t talk any more. But she was my touchstone. I could tell her anything and she would either support me or correct me. She was my filter. Well… I lost her yesterday. I blame myself because I’m a jealous asshole. Unfiltered, this site is gonna get pretty nasty. My humorous posts will continue and so will the endless pictures of hot women… just expect a bit more ass-holery from me for the time being…
This weekend has been absolute HELL dealing with my ex-wife.
Our only goal as ex-spouses should be the welfare of our girls. Period.
We went for a long stretch at one point in which we got along really well. We would communicate daily about the girls via text, email or phone calls. It was great; and great for our girls.
It hasn’t been that way for a couple months, however, because she’s become vindictive and confrontational. Don’t get me wrong; she’s always been that way, but it’s become exponentially worse lately.
This weekend was a prime example of that. It all started when I picked the girls up Friday. Brookie didn’t have her soccer bag for today’s game as her mom let the coach take it home from practice last week. Brooke texted her to see if she could get it yesterday but mom said something like: It’s your weekend with your Dad, so if you need anything, he has to get it for you.
UGH! Not a huge deal I suppose. Brooke can dress for her game and, when we get there she can throw on her cleats and shin guards.
This morning I asked Brooke where her soccer jersey and shorts were and she said she didn’t have them; they were probably at mom’s. There goes THAT plan… now she can’t even dress for her game. It’s gonna be way too much for her to get to the game and change her clothes prior to it.
Now… I don’t like preaching the terms of the paperwork we received as a result of our divorce. That’s just micro managing… But I had to go there this time, because I was frustrated..
One of the stacks of paper we received is called a shared parenting plan. The very beginning of it basically says: The parent giving up the children must provide clothing and anything else necessary to complete school work and, if participating in sports, fulfill any extracurricular activities. This includes the aforementioned soccer uniform and bag.
So I called Brooke’s mom to find out if she could get ALL of Brooke’s stuff together and bring it to me so Brooke will be prepared for her game. Here’s how it went:
ME: Hey, Brookie doesn’t have any of her stuff for her game, can you go get her bag from her coach and bring it, and her uniform, over here?
HER: You need to talk to Brooke about that. It’s not my problem.
ME: Actually, it’s not your problem, but it is your responsibility to make sure they have all their stuff when I pick them up.
HER (yelling): BROOKE IS TWELVE. SHE CAN GET HER STUFF READY BEFORE YOU PICK THEM UP. TALK TO HER ABOUT IT. I’M NOT TAKING ANYTHING ANYWHERE.
ME: I know she’s twelve, but this is ultimately your responsibility. You’re a parent. I’m not blaming the child for anything.
HER: (yelling): IN…CO…HER…ENT!
I hung up. I don’t like hanging up on anyone. But no one’s gonna yell and swear at me. I’m just trying to solve a challenge here.
But it continues via text message… I’m so glad we’re communicating for the good of our children…
HER: I will be there at noon to get Brooke to her game, don’t worry about it. And before u start yelling at me think about what u are saying. I am done with u blaming me for things, I am not your child, nor your wife anymore… u need to remember she is not five and is able to have her things ready. I would be more then happy to quit my job and make sure they are ready for u when u have them. Your bullying with me does not work anymore. [sic erat scriptum of course]
I was not bullying on the phone, and I definitely wasn’t yelling. I only yell at the television when the Browns are
losing winning playing.
ME: I’m gonna pick up all her stuff. It’s not about bullying. It’s about parental responsibility.
Oops… guess I got too cocky there.
HER: This parent works, if this is becoming an issue, u can start picking up the girls at six instead of five, so I am here to make sure they have what they need. [again… sic erat scriptum]
Unfortunately, this is a normal conversation with my girls’ mom. There is no rationalizing with her. Attempting to solve a challenge can quickly devolve into a full blown argument… So I stopped communicating with her.
Wanna know the funny part? I pulled up the coaches address and saw that they live right up the street from me. I called to let them know I’d be over in a few minutes to get Brookie’s bag. When I got there they told me THERE WAS NO GAME TODAY… the final game is next Sunday!
All the stress of this weekend could’ve been avoided had I simply called the coach Friday evening.
The verdict is in… I’m the one who causes all the
Hug your children and love them every day…Even you crazy women!