Monday Moanin’ ~ Week Five ~ Browns 27 @ Giants 41

Maybe if these knuckleheads could win a game I could get out of this funk I’ve been in. But NOOO! They had to start off yesterday by teasing me!

After NY’s RB Ahmad Bradshaw fumbles on the first play of the game, Cleveland recovers. Two touches by RB Trent Richardson… and he’s in the endzone! BOOM! 7-0 Cleveland in under a minute!

Our defense forces a punt on NY’s second drive. Cleveland comes out with a short run, a dink, a dunk another short run and then…

…Brandon Weeden throws a beautiful BOMB to Josh Gordon for a 62 yard TD! I think the ball was in the air for 50 yards and was perfectly thrown! I damn near pissed myself, in five minutes we’re up 14-0 over the Super Bowl champs! Ya know what that means, though? There are still 55 minutes of football to play, against the Super Bowl champs…

I’m not gonna continue a play by play, because that’s just boring to read, and it will make me sad to write it. Plus, the play by play is readily available via ESPN. Check it out if you’re into all that.

Some observations:

Joshua Cribs is nearing the top of my list of players I want to jump and pummel. I’ve got a feeling I’ll need some help, but I won’t have far to go to find it.  The dude used to run back kickoffs like a boss. Yesterday he looked lost and cut back inside when it appeared that he could’ve danced down the sideline for a TD. Then he was holding the ball way out there for anybody to take a swipe at. Well the Giants coverage unit did just that. That fumble was a game changer for sure.

Brandon Weeden made some bonehead decisions, but I’m not blaming him for our  woes. Dude’s a rookie, that was his fifth game, he’s gonna make mistakes. This one was quite humorous…

Weeden bounces the ball off Justin Tuck’s facemask. Once he catches his own pass, he becomes a runner. The next pass he threw was an illegal forward pass. This TD prolly would’ve counted had the replacement officals been calling the game!

The veterans, like Cribbs however, should NOT be making mistakes…

Ya know who else’s ass I wanna kick? Coach Shurmer’s! I won’t need help to kick his dopey ass… His play calling is horrid. It’s like he’s never played Madden! Cleveland gave up four draft picks in April to move up one spot and grab RB Trent Richardson at #3, and they continue to under-utilize him. In the first quarter, Trent got 7 carries, one of which was a 15 yard TD. Second quarter he only got 6 carries. Third quarter? 2. Fourth quarter? 2. 17 carries…

That’s just bullshit, coach! Once you take away our threat to run, which is a REAL threat with T-Rich, a team like the NY Giants is gonna shut down our passing game. When we’ve got a bunch of crappy WRs, that’s pretty easy to do.

Dammit, Shurmer… you’re such a douchebag! You better hope I don’t go to another game this year, because I’ll have too many beers, jump the fence and kick your ass on the sideline! I’ll make ESPN!

Sunday, the Bengals come to town and shutdown cornerback Joe Haden will be back from his four game suspension. Am I excited? Not at all… I hate being a Browns fan, but anyway….

GO BROWNS!!!

Hug your children and love them every day

Previous weeks:

Week 4: Ravens 23 ~ Browns 16 Good game but same ole results.
Week 3: Bills 24 ~ Browns 14 – All around problems.
Week 2: Bengals 34 ~ Browns 27 – Our Special teams are dawgshit.
Week 1: Eagles 17 ~ Browns 16 – The sickly debut of Brandon Weeden.

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