Bought KISS’ New Album Yesterday ~ Here’s My Official Review

Actually.. I didn’t buy an album, I bought the MP3 version on Amazon (Suck it iTunes). It was humorous to see that KISS was selling it on vinyl on Amazon as well… gotta love the marketing mind of Gene Simmons!

What also made me giggle for the past month was that KISS was encouraging me, via twitter and Facebook, to pre-order ‘Monster’ from iTunes. Why would anyone pre-order a download? Are they gonna run out? Ha ha!

Anyway, yesterday I came home for lunch and downloaded ‘Monster’ from Amazon in about 90 seconds. Didn’t really get a chance to listen to it in it’s entirety until today.

I’ve never done an official album review before, so I can’t do it like the douchebags over at Rolling Stone. Here’s my take:

Holy shit it’s freakin’ AWESOME! Let’s go track by track shall we?

Hell or Hallelujah ~

This is the only single released thus far. I saw ’em perform it live at Blossom and it kicks ass. Paul’s vocals, at 60 years old, are just as good as ever. This one makes me think ‘Animalize’ a bit…

Wall of Sound ~

I’m still hoping this one will grow on me. Not bad, but not great. Tommy Thayer gets a decent solo on here. More ‘Animalize’ if ya ask me… Gene, as always, sounds great!

Freak ~ 

Pretty good tune here… Stanley has some powerful vocals on this one. Lyrically, this song is clearly reaching out to anybody out there who’s “different” according to society. I liked this line by Gene:  “I pledge allegiance… to the state of… independence…” Nice theme song for those who are bullied…

Back to the Stone Age ~

Made me bob my head a bit… Strong Gene vocals with Paul wailing in the background. Some speedy drumming by Singer and nice licks by Thayer.

Shout Mercy ~

Typical Paul Stanley slightly sexually oriented song, “We’re gonna make a little ecstasy, you and me (whoo-hoo)..” The woo-hoos are a bit aggravating, however. Thayer sounds awesome on this track. Tommy Thayer would totally destroy Ace Frehley in Guitar Hero, by the way… Also, if I get a woman to shout “mercy” while we’re going at it, I’m working too old of an age bracket…

Long Way Down ~

Not a bad song… ‘Nother one that will undoubtedly grow on me… Good work by Eric Singer on this one…

Eat Your Heart Out ~

Starts off with some silly sounding a capella action, then rolls into a classic Gene Simmons sex song… This one’s for the ladies who wanna jump into the bathtub and fantasize about the 63 year old Simmons and his need to EAT YOUR… heart out BABY!

The Devil Is Me  ~ 

I struggle with this one… It’s like something off of Gene’s solo album. Don’t get me wrong… it’s not that bad, but it’s far from great.

Outta This World ~

This is clearly an attempt by Tommy Thayer to cement his status as the “Spaceman” of KISS. Well done! He absolutely hit a home run on this one! His guitarin’ is crisper and his vocals are way better than Ace. Sorry, Ace. I love you man, but Tommy’s the shit!

All for the Love of Rock & Roll ~

Classic KISS sound here…. Eric Singer has great vocals. This song made me wanna clap and shake my ass… Woo hoo!

Take Me Down Below ~

This song takes Asylum’s ‘UH All Night’ and Smashes, Thrashes and Hits’ ‘Let’s Put the X in Sex,’ crumples ’em up, puts a hard edge on it and heads into Swank Magazine territory.. here’s a sampling…

When I asked her to take a ride with me (come here baby!)
She took my finger, here’s a button to press
I raised my thang and she dropped her dress
I’ll take you on a cruise you’ll never forget
She said, “we better move ’cause I’m already wet”


Last Chance ~

Because of the previous song, I forgot about this one… I think it’s pretty good, though!

Overall? Nice release by KISS! The style of these songs seems to drift across a lot of their styles dating back to the ’70s through Sonic Boom. Good stuff, regardless! Buy it on Amazon and definitely not on iTunes…

Hug your children and love them every day

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