Already Freakin’ Out about Tomorrow ~ Week Six ~ Bengals @ Browns

To be quite honest, I’m not freakin’ out about the game much at all. Brookie has a soccer game that starts at 1:00, kickoff time, but I have a perfectly functioning DVR all set to take care of that. Do I check in on the game from soccer? Will the other soccer dads update me when I may not want to be updated? I guess we’ll see!

I think tomorrow’s game is very winnable for the Browns. Why?

For starters, our shutdown CB Joe Haden is back after serving a four game suspension for rape fighting dogs cheating on his taxes smoking weed getting multiple DUIs eating weed taking Adderall in the offseason. Holy shit…. I just figured out why NFL commissioner, Roger Goodell, allowed  Haden to start in week 1 against Philly before suspending him from playing weeks 2 through 5. Everybody knows that Goodell is a NY Giants homer. Had Haden been suspended in week 1-4, he’d have shut down Victor Cruz and prevented his three irritating river dance TD celebrations last week. We’d have beat the Super Bowl champs last week! Ugh… Roger Goodell… YOU ARE AN EVIL GINGER!

In week two against Cincy, Trent Richardson had 145 total yards. 109 and a TD on the ground and 36 and a TD through the air. I believe he’ll have an even better game tomorrow.

Brandon Weeden threw for 322 yards and two TDs.

My Concerns?

Our WRs ~ We don’t have any. Jordan Norwood, who had an awesome game last week, got put on injured reserve with a banged up foot. Mohamed Massaquoi, who’s had his best season thus far has been ruled out with a wimpy hamstring. My dude Travis Benjamin, another speedy threat, is questionable for tomorrow with a bruised vagina. I hope Greg Little can catch the ball tomorrow, because he normally sucks at it, though he caught a TD pass against Cincy in week two. Josh Gordon really needs to step up his game. I hope his 62 yard TD against NY last week was a turning point for him.

Our defensive backfield ~ CB Dimitri Patterson is out tomorrow with a messed up ankle, so the sieve Sheldon Brown will start in his place. Sheldon Brown is terrible and that scares me.

Our special teams ~ Better not give up an 81 yard punt return like they did to Cincy in week two. Just don’t!

Our stupid soon-to-be-fired coach, Pat Shurmer ~ Two words: Spread offense douchebag. Three more words: Utilize Trent Richardson you idiot.

Anyway… GO BROWNS! Let’s start the road to the playoffs tomorrow!

Hug your children and love them every day

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