Monday Moanin’ ~ Week Nine ~ Ravens 25 @ Browns 15 ~ An Open Letter To Jimmy Haslam III

Dear Mr. Haslam,

So you just plopped $1.05 BILLION on what you call the “iconic” Cleveland Browns. You have got to be experiencing a nasty case of buyers remorse, no?

Jimmy… we’re 2-7!

I know, I know, we have an extremely young team.

The defense is going to give up plays at times with their bend-but-don’t-break philosophy. I get that. Still, you’ve got to be happy with their play overall. We’ve been in pretty much every game this season, primarily because of the defense.

As far as our offense goes, mistakes are going to happen, again, with all these rookies and second year players. Our young rookie QB is gonna be off target, and on target passes will be dropped. These issues have not necessarily made us lose games. Okay, maybe that’s not entirely accurate. I suppose if the offense executes every single play with perfection, we win more games. But what offense in this league executes perfectly? None of ’em. There are just too many moving parts in an NFL game for that sort of outcome.

You strike me as a very intelligent businessman, Jimmy. Pilot/Flying J wouldn’t be the company that it is today without your leadership and the leadership you have in place to run the company on a day to day basis. Based on that experience…

WHY THE FUCK would you allow Pat Shurmer to remain the coach of your new billion dollar toy?

I understand you said you’d wait until the end of the season to evaluate the coaching staff. Change your mind, break your promise… whatever. Just get rid of this dude because he’s tarnishing your belt buckle more and more every week.

What more do you need to see? This is not a case of a coach who’s trying to win games with a team that just flat out blows. This is a coach who’s drowning. The NFL game is too big, too fast for him.

You know this: the players execute the plays that are called in by the coach. Shurmer can’t even get plays called in in enough time without burning timeouts. That’s just asinine!

And when he does call a play, it’s just stupid. Example… on that 4th and 2 with a few minutes to play, from your own territory down 7, you call in the punt team. My daughters know this… The defense had played well, let them force a 3 and out and give your offense another chance to score. A failed pass attempt allows Baltimore an easy field goal to make it a two score game. What happened? Incomplete pass over the middle, Ravens score a field goal, game over… That wasn’t a gamble, Mr. Haslam, that was a stupid play call by a lame duck coach. Cut him loose now!

The rest of his play calling is suspect as well. After a little half assed research, I noticed that we ran 66% of our offensive plays from under center yesterday… And it’s like that every freakin’ week. Why is that? Because Pat Shurmer is stupid. Brandon Weeden was pretty much a shotgun QB at Oklahoma State. It’s what he knows… a smart coach would play to his strengths and work in the other stuff.

Also, on 3rd and 1… Shurmer needs to run Trent Richardson. He doesn’t. He gets all cute with 7 step drop passing plays. I just throw my hands up.

Mr. Haslam, today was the perfect opportunity to cut ties with coach Shurmer with your team off this week. But you didn’t do it… why? His ineptitude is costing us you wins!

Please, for the sake of myself and tens if not hundreds of thousands of Browns fans… fire this dude Mr. Haslam! We already love you, now do the right thing and we’ll love you even more.

Sincerely,

~ Greg

PS ~ I don’t have numbers for these guys, but I know you know how to get a hold of ’em, so get after ’em…

~ or ~

Previous weeks:

Week 8: Browns 7 ~ Chargers 6 – Defense prevails!!!
Week 7: Colts 17 ~ Browns 13 – Painful loss…
Week 6: Browns 34 ~ Bengals 24Woo hoo! Nice Win!
Week 5: Browns 27 ~ Giants 41PLAY THE ENTIRE GAME FELLAS!
Week 4: Ravens 23 ~ Browns 16 Good game but same ole results.
Week 3: Bills 24 ~ Browns 14 – All around problems.
Week 2: Bengals 34 ~ Browns 27Our Special teams are dawgshit.
Week 1: Eagles 17 ~ Browns 16 – The sickly debut of Brandon Weeden.

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