Season Ending NASCAR Update! Danica Patrick’s Gonna Be Single!

Actually the season ended this past Sunday. I completely forgot about putting this post together until just now… CALM DOWN…. I’ve been busy!

Anyway, as I had hoped, Brad Keselowski won it all on Sunday and became your 2012 NASCAR Sprint Cup Champion!

I DVR’d the race while watching the Cleveland Browns piss away another potential win; this time it was the Cowboys. I was already aggravated when I checked in on the race…. and then saw that the other contender for the championship, Jimmie Johnson, was leading. Shit… all I could think was that Johnson was gonna pull of the ultimate upset and win his 6th championship in seven years.

Turns out that something broke off in Jimmie’s rear end… er… something broke on Jimmie’s car. The rear end. He said he could smell gear lube burning (HA! I’m sure he’s said THAT before). It ended his race. As soon as that happened, I fell asleep, knowing that Keselowski was a lock to win the Sprint Cup.

Then I awoke to this:

Anyone who rips on NASCAR or it’s participants or fans will absolutely love that video! There is your stereotype of NASCAR… in a CHAMPION! Obviously you don’t know the weekly dangers they avert as race car drivers.

NASCAR has, for years, wanted a colorful and humorous champion to draw more viewers. Brad Keselowski is that man.

Speaking of drawing viewers…. you all ever hear of Danica Patrick? Well, she finished up her first full Nationwide Series season on Saturday. She was voted the most popular driver! Why? Because she finished 10th in points of 14 full time competitors? Nope. Because she’s a great race car driver like Brad? Nope.

Ya wanna know why she’s the most popular driver?

This is sexy!

BECAUSE OF THAT ASS! Look at it! WOW!

Well… someone in the NASCAR garage apparently got a hold of that ass, because the other day Danica announced that she and her husband were divorcing.

How do I know that it’s Danica’s fault for the divorce?

Simple.

I did a poll of my cousins on my Dad’s side of the family and 100% of them said that it’s solely the woman’s fault that divorces happen. Men do no wrong! Seriously!

Whoa! Don’t get on me, folks, I’m just goin’ by what I was told!

Regardless, Danica will be single soon. You guys wanna know who she’s banging friends with in NASCAR?

Ricky Stenhouse Jr. I’m actually not allowed to say!

More to come….

HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYBODY!

Hug your children and love them every day

 

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