Monday Moanin’ ~ Week Thirteen ~ Browns WIN! 20 ~ 17 Over Oakland!!!


I’m about to rename this series “Super Bowl Bound!” It sounds great, right? We’re on our way to an 8-8 season! Ya know… We haven’t been mathematically eliminated from the playoffs!

I’m not great at formulating the playoff picture, but here goes…  I’m pretty sure if the Browns win out, Pittsburgh & Cincinnati lose the rest of their games, the Jets, Bills & Dolphins win no more than two games apiece and the Chargers & Titans win no more than three…. WE’RE IN AS A WILDCARD!!! Yeah! GO BROWNS!

And who do we have to thank for this current playoff run! Coach Pat Shurmer!

Shurmer Eyes closed

AWWW HELL NO! He’s still the same doofus that he’s always been!

But there’s talk in the local (and some national) media that the Browns should retain his services after this season. Why? Because we won two straight? He’s the same guy who coached the team to an 0-5 start! Let’s not forget that! His play calling has always been suspect, and has cost us at least a couple games…

Also, the product on the field has improved… The fact that shutdown CB Joe Haden was suspended weeks 2-5 certainly didn’t help. We lost all four of those games. When Haden has played, we’re 4-3. When he hasn’t we’re 0-5. He’s definitely a game changer… Shurmer has nothing to do with defense, by the way…

Our WRs are actually catching the ball, even Greg Fucking Little! And Josh Gordon is becoming a stud! He was unstoppable yesterday. He was targeted seven times and had six catches for 116 yards and a touchdown…

Josh Gordon Touchdown

The most poorly allocated resource on this team is at the RB position. I know I’m beating a dead horse here, but I don’t think Coach Shurmer knows how to use Trent Richardson… AND I UNDERSTAND that the league is becoming pass happy but, Jesus, when you have a back like that you use the shit out of him. I suppose “use” may not be the right term, but T-Rich wants it! He NEEDS to be catchin’ the ball in space… He’s definitely more dangerous that way! Out of 25 chances he had to touch the ball, he carried it 20 times and caught it 3 times out of 5 passes.

So lets look at his running from yesterday. Off the left side of the line, Richardson averaged 4.6 yards a carry on 8 carries. Up the middle, he averaged 3 yards a carry on 7 carries. I know… one of ’em was this TD…

Trent Richardson Touchdown Salute

Off the right side, he averaged 2.3 yards a carry on 5 carries. It’s simple, that right side of the line needs work on run blocking…

Sometimes I wonder if Coach Shurmer does as much post game analysis as I do. I bet he doesn’t!

Now lets look at Richardson catching the ball, in space, like I want him to more often..

Yesterday he caught the ball three times for an average of 7.7 yards. Doesn’t that stand out to you, Coach? For the entire season, he averages 7.7 yards every time he catches the ball!

And whenever Montario Hardesty gets a chance to run the ball, he’s freakin’ explosive! But this year he’s averaging three measly carries a game…

I just can’t comprehend how stupid you are, Coach! DAMN! You should quit before you get fired!

Anyway, we have the Chiefs at home on Sunday and that’s a very winnable game.


Previous weeks:

Week 12: Browns 20 ~ Steelers 14 – Woo hoo! Puck Fittsburgh!
Week 11: Browns 20 @ Cowboys 23 – Pat Shurmer is Terrible.
Week 10: Bye
Week 9: Ravens 25 ~ Browns 15 – Pat Shurmer is terrible.
Week 8: Browns 7 ~ Chargers 6 – Defense prevails!!!
Week 7: Colts 17 ~ Browns 13 – Painful loss…
Week 6: Browns 34 ~ Bengals 24Woo hoo! Nice Win!
Week 5: Browns 27 ~ Giants 41PLAY THE ENTIRE GAME FELLAS!
Week 4: Ravens 23 ~ Browns 16 Good game but same ole results.
Week 3: Bills 24 ~ Browns 14 – All around problems.
Week 2: Bengals 34 ~ Browns 27Our Special teams are dawgshit.
Week 1: Eagles 17 ~ Browns 16 – The sickly debut of Brandon Weeden.

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