Sexy Saturday ~ Browns Cheerleaders Edition!

Bone Lady

Reader, Elaine, told me that I should bring back Sexy Saturday, so here we go…

There are 26 teams in the NFL that have cheerleading squads. That means six unlucky teams don’t have squads… those teams are the Bears, Lions, Packers, Giants, Steelers and of course the Cleveland Browns!

Back in July, the Browns announced they’re going to enhance the gameday experience in and around FirstEnergy Stadium. My first thought was, “Yay, cheerleaders!” Boy was I wrong! What was one of their ideas? A freakin’ drumline. Yeah… a bunch of dorks playng drums. Oh yeah, we’re also gonna get some kick ass score boards and a new sound system!

But why not cheerleaders? When there’s a shitty team on the field, the next best thing to watch would be a bunch of tits and asses bouncing around near the 30 yard line! Hell, the worst team in the NFL, the Houston Texans, have cheerleaders…

Texans Cheerleaders

… Well, it’s too cold here in the Cleveland area so don’t expect to see cheerleaders any time soon.

In the meantime, I’m going to assemble my Cleveland Browns Fantasy Cheerleading Squad!

The obvious first choice would be Hayden Panettiere…

Hayden Panettiere Ass

… not only does Hayden have cheerleading experience, she was also the captain at Pacific Vista High School…

Hayden Panettiere PVH

She would be the captain for the Browns cheerleaders too!

My next choice would be Mrs. Timberlake Jessica Biel!

Jessica Biel WOW

She’s beau-ti-ful! Here’s a little known Jessica Biel fact: She was featured in the video for Aerosmith’s 2001 ballad Fly Away from Here. Check it out:

And loogit her ass!

Jessica Biel

Who’s next? Oh yeah, MMA cage girl Jennifer Swift.

Jennifer Swift DAMN

Unfortunately, Ms. Swift is a Giants fan…

Jennifer Swift Giants Fan

… but I won’t hold that against her because of…

Jennifer Swift Perfect Ass

… Hoo boy, loogit her ass! She’s not just a perfect ass pretty face, however… Jennifer Swift has helped me with a couple causes the last couple years and for that I’m thankful!

I would also like to have singer/songwriter Skylar Grey as a Browns cheerleader…

Skylar Grey WOW

Skylar is not only gorgeous, but extremely talented! Eminem has a huge hit titled Love The Way You Lie. The song and accompanying video feature that idiot Rihanna… Skylar Grey wrote that shit, however… Check out Love The Way You Lie at the 2:55 mark…

A still shot from the same performance…

Skylar Grey Mmmmm

I don’t know who this woman is, but she’s hired!

French model Anais Zanotti turns heads on Miami Beach

I looked her up, her name is Anais Zanotti and she seems to have a nice personality!


I would also include Sarah Hyland, who plays big sis Haley Dunphy on Modern Family

Sarah Hyland

She’s kinda okay… right?

Sarah Hyland Boobs

Since I’m on Modern Family, how could I not include the stunning and hilarious Sofia Vergara?

Sofia Vergara Beautiful

That’s stunning and so is this…

Sofia Vergara Bikini

… and this is hilarious!

Last, and definitely not least, I want Emily Ratajkowski shakin’ it for the Browns…

Emily Ratajkowski Lingerie

… she looks great from both sides…

Emily Ratajkowski in Red

… and also knows how to dance as evidenced in this Robin Thicke video titled Blurred Lines

That completes my Cleveland Browns Fantasy Cheerleading Squad! I’m gonna send a copy of this to the Browns front office, hoping they’ll consider cheerleaders some time soon!

For the ladies and men who like men, here’s Cleveland’s stud TE Jordan Cameron looking quite dreamy…

Jordan Cameron Dreamy

Enjoy the rest of your weekend, folks!

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