Sexy Saturday ~ In Which We Bid Adieu to Mila Kunis! : (


Well, it’s official. Jackie and Kelso are gettin’ hitched…

Jackie Kelso

…apparently their engagement was confirmed sometime this week.

So Mila Kunis is off the market… dammit! I really thought I had a chance with her, considering the high end dudes she dates like Macaulay Culkin…


… dear God, Mila! 8 years with that? I’m an upgrade for sure! You knew that too, girl! Remember that one time, a couple years ago, when we hung out at Hinckley Park?

Mila Kunis at Hinckley Park

We had so much fun and you seemed so happy!

Then along comes $140,000,000 Ashton Kutcher and ya split? Ugh!

Guess I shouldn’t knock Ashton, dude’s funny as hell and girls like funny guys! And if a funny guy is loaded like Ashton, that’s 140,000,000 reasons to sit on his face!

Oh well, time to quit moping around and move on. I believe Emily Ratajkowski is still single


… best get working on her!

In the meantime, let’s take a look at the beautiful Mila Kunis before the pregnancy pictures start popping up on TMZ…

Jackie Burkhart Stoned

Oh snap! That’s Jackie Burkhart… how about some real Mila?

Mila Kunis Grabbing her tits

Gotta love the hand bra, no?

Mila Kunis Bed

Mmmmmm… those boots!

Mila Kunis ass WOW!

One more reason why I’m an ass guy!

Mila Kunis Black Swan

Oh my… how’d that get in here? That’s Mila as Lily, going down on Nina in Black Swan! Go watch that movie now! Man, I watched that GIF for at least 7 minutes!

Mila has a condition called heterochromia iridum, where her irises are different colors; left eye is brown and right is green (click the pic a couple times to embiggen it)…

Mila Kunis Eyes

Just like my dog!

Bernie Eyes

Speaking of dogs, here are a couple submissions for the ladies and men who like men. Ashton Fucking Kutcher…


Oops, that’s Kelso… how about this?

Ashton Kutcher topless


And Fez…

Wilmer Valderrama Shirtless

Goodbye Mila!

Mila Kunis Goodbye

Enjoy the rest of your weekend folks!

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