What to Watch Today Instead of NASCAR ~ And Sad NHRA News… :(

Quick story before I get rolling here. I’d been putting off getting new wiper blades for my car, even though they’ve been a bit streaky, because the damn things are expensive!

The passenger side took a total shit yesterday so I went to Advance Auto Parts to pick up a pair. The kid, Mike, behind the counter offered to help and I said, “No thanks, I’ve got this.”

Well… gone are the paper catalogs. They’ve been replaced by this little computerized EZ Finder or some shit that totally sucks! Ya have to scroll through like 17 screens to get to your part number. I’m halfway through my lookup when Mike comes over and asks if I’m having trouble.

Prior to my current job I sold auto parts for about 14 years, so I kinda had a handle on things!

“NOPE! Got it under control!”

I grab my blades; the 24″ driver side is $21 and the 18″ passenger side is $17! WHEW! Back in the day, I’d sell an entire case of blades for what I just paid for two! That smartass offered to install them, too! I was like, “DUDE, I got this!”

I didn’t install them in the lot because I was sorta in a hurry. A few hours later I go out to stick ’em on… When I pull the drivers side out of the package, it’s definitely not 24″ and it’s certainly used! SON OF A BITCH!!!

I run back up to Advance and as soon as I walk in the door that asshole asks, “Shall I look up the right one for you?” I immediately begin to see red and my first thought is, “Mike, you’re gonna have a rough time working behind that counter in a wheelchair!”

So I told him… “Mike, I sold auto parts for 14 years. I don’t make mistakes. But you apparently did, because someone returned a used blade and you gave them $21 for it. Just swap this out for a new one.” Mike asks, “Do you have your receipt?”

HOLY FUCK! Shit’s about to get real!

I’m pretty sure Mike sensed my growing anger and said not to worry about it. I said, “I’m not… thanks!”

Would you believe that fucker asked if I wanted him to install it while I was heading for the exit?

Thank GOD my little one was with me or I woulda shoved 24 inches of $21 wiper blade up his ass!

Damn… I got all pissed off again while writing that! Deep breath, Greg!

On to NASCAR… my least favorite racing series is in Las Vegas this weekend…

Las Vegas Tri Oval

… Even though I’ve sworn off watching NASCAR, there’s a good chance I’ll watch at least some of this race because I love Vegas! I also wanna see if dear Danica crashes again like she has in the first two races so far. She’s a horrible driver. Her average start this year is 30th of 43 drivers and her average finish is 38th! She’s only completed 451 laps of 512 thus far. She’s got 0 top fives, 0 top tens and hasn’t sat on the pole, except for Ricky Stenhouse Jr.’s that is!

If you’d prefer to watch something other than NASCAR, Ransom is on TNT at the same time! It stars that batshit crazy Mel Gibson… or, watch Machete on AMC… Jessica Alba is in that one…

Jessica Alba Ass

… oof!

I’m sorta sad there’s no drag racing on today. They had their first eliminations on February 9th and continued on February 23rd… but won’t race again ’til next week!

I’m also sorta sad that my favorite drag racing girl, Courtney Force…

Courtney Force Gas Can

… is now dating some dude who has a really gay name: Graham!


But his last name is Rahal… yeah, his Dad is Bobby Rahal who is worth $62 Million, so I guess I understand the “attraction.” Girls be all about money!

Enjoy your Sunday, folks!

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