Earlier this week at work we got on the subject of ’80s hair bands… aka glam metal, hair metal or pop metal. This is definitely my favorite genre of music.

Years ago, I rented a minivan for a family vacation that was equipped with SiriusXM satellite radio. I was flipping through the channels and stumbled across a channel called Hair Nation that played all music by ’80s hair bands… I was in Heaven!


Warrant has always been one of my favorites; always will be except for the death of frontman Jani Lane…. R.I.P. man! \m/

… of course my now ex wife and children were subjected to 14 hours (one way) of this glorious music! There were no complaints… or maybe there were but I just didn’t pay attention!

Here I’ll get into some of my favorite hair bands… in no particular order because I believe they’re all equally awesome!

One of the biggest, and best, hair bands of all time was Poison…


I first heard of Poison when I was 13 and working my first real job: cooking/selling onion rings at the Cuyahoga County Fair! It was closing time and I went over to the trailer my older sister worked at (also selling onion rings) to find her flirting with the guys a couple of douchebags selling cotton candy next to her. They were listening to some pretty good music. When I asked who it was, they told me it was this new band called Poison and one of the douches handed me the cassette case that looked like this…

Poison girls

I was just like, “WHOA! They sure don’t sound like women…  these are women, no?” Apparently they’re not. Just go to Pornhub.com and search Bret Michaels & Pamela Anderson…

I still went out and picked up that cassette and it remains one of my favorite albums to this day.

It’s sorta bittersweet… the sister I mentioned above, Michelle, who is no longer with us, introduced me to a couple bands who remain favorites of mine from way back then; the aforementioned Poison and… KISS, who also did a great job with their ’80s material…


Holy shit is Paul’s outfit hilarious! That is offset by the women and the water, however!

Anyway, there are so, so many great bands from that era… I can’t possibly mention them all!

Mötley Crüe is obviously one of the best as well… with the ultimate stripper dancer entertainer anthem of all time!


… but lets consider some of the smaller… one hit wonders like Autograph…


… or Bon Jovi…


… I guess someone had to appeal to the gay population set the stage for better bands like Ratt…


… or Cinderella!


THAT is one of the best power ballads of all time!

Speaking of monster ballads… who else remembers Damn Yankees?


Featuring a “more than normally” goofy looking young Ted Nugent!

Ooh… or how about Steelheart with this gem…


Of course, the ladies were doin’ it too back then… like Vixen…


Holy shit were they hot!… or how about Lita Ford?


“UH HUH! It ain’t no big thing…”

And there was Whitesnake… featuring the oh so hot Tawny Kitaen!


THIS Tawny:

Tawny Kitaen HOT

Not this one!

Tawny Kitaen mugshot

I don’t wanna ramble on for too long, so I’m gonna close out with yet another Poison video. This one came out in ’91 when I had a huge crush on this girl who I went to high school with… and lost touch with for far too long.. we reconnected almost four years ago and she’s been my dream girl ever since. This song meant nothing back then but it means a shit ton now because I miss my dream girl…

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