What to Watch Today Instead of NASCAR!

I will always give credit where credit is due and dear Danica deserves some right now! Somehow, she ran well last week in California and managed a 14th place finish on the lead lap!

To celebrate one of her epic top twenty finishes (8 in 51 Sprint Cup races!) here is a shot of her highness in the GoDaddy firesuit…

Danica Patrick Makeup

… and with the GoDaddy Chevrolet SS at Daytona…

Danica-Patrick-Daytona-500

Maybe I should quit picking on Danica. I mean, she hasn’t crashed in two weeks and is trying really hard

Nope… I won’t stop picking on her until she gets good… if that ever happens!

Oh no! The national media is poking fun at her too. I just found an article with the headline: Danica Patrick has rare start near front at Martinsville

Martinsville Speedway

That’s right folks! The Sprint Cup Series is at Martinsville Speedway today and if you check her stats, Danica is a little less shitty at Martinsville versus other tracks. Last year, she started 32nd in the spring race here and finished 12th! In the fall she started 41st and finished 17th!

Today she’s qualified 10th! Woo hoo! Ya know what that means? She’s gonna win today! Absolutely nothing!

In my opinion, since I have so much experience driving a race car, she’s in a tough position starting near the front with so many good drivers like Kyle Busch, Hamlin, Logano, Johnson, Gordon, Kenseth, Stewart, Edwards and Mcmurray… I don’t count Stewart,

Mad Fat Stewart

because he’s her boss and might cut her some slack, or he could wreck her if he has one of his hissy fits!

Anyway, I believe starting from the rear at Martinsville, and picking off slow cars driven by shitty drivers, is the safest strategy for Danica… I guess we shall see!

If ya don’t wanna enjoy the NASCAR fun today, I believe there is more college basketball on today. Actually, I KNOW there is more stupid basketball on.

See, the NHRA returns this weekend to Las Vegas!

Strip-Sign

I really want to watch this! See, yesterday, in the final round of qualifying my girl Courtney Force, who is actually a fantastic race car driver who WINS RACES, set the track record for both elapsed time and speed; going 325.37 MPH in 4.006 seconds! That 325.37 MPH is also the fastest a funny car has ever gone, male or female!

Eliminations start in a couple hours, but it won’t air ’til later. That is common for NHRA events, because there is so much down time it is normally aired tape delay, so all the down time is cut out. Usually it airs at 8:00 on ESPN2, but because of women’s college basketball today, it won’t air ’til 11:00 pm tonight! UGH! I’m gonna have to get a nap today so I can stay up and watch it!

Oh and ESPN, fuck you! ESPN has this website, ESPN3.com, that allows ya to view events, like NHRA races, streaming live. Yeah, ya have to view all the down time and the commentators come and go, but it’s live! Well that solution is gone. Apparently, ESPN got in bed with Time Warner Cable and you can only watch ESPN3 if you have a Time Warner Cable account. I have DirecTV so I’m screwed!

Also on TV, right now, is A Few Good Men… one of my favorite Tom Cruise movies before he went bat shit crazy! Here’s my favorite scene from it, and prolly one of the best scenes in any movie ever!

 

“YOU’RE GOD DAMN RIGHT I DID!”

Enjoy your Sunday, folks!

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