What to Watch Today Instead of NASCAR!

A lot of people have noticed that I’m not much of a Danica Patrick fan. Maybe I should cut her some slack.

I mean, there are approximately 3 billion men and women on this planet of prime NASCAR age which I determined to be ages 20-49.

There are 77 active drivers in NASCAR’s premier Sprint Cup Series. That means only .0000026% of the population have the ability to do race car drivin’ in NASCAR!

That percentage goes down quite a bit when ya figure only 43 make the race every week.

Ya know what? NO! Danica sucks!

I was almost gonna call her the Kyle Petty of today’s NASCAR, but that would be way off base. Yeah, they both have long hair, big names and small skills but at least Kyle has been to victory lane 8 times out of 885 races in NASCAR’s top three series, netting him a win percentage of .9 whereas Danica has won 0 out of 113 races for a 0.00000000000000000000000000 win percentage.

Of the 47 drivers who went to Texas Motor Speedway this weekend to try to get in to today’s race, ten of ’em, that includes Danica, have not won a race in any of NASCAR’s top three series. Four of them are rookies, so they don’t count.

Here is the list of the six shittiest drivers in today’s NASCAR based on wins…

6.) Danica Patrick, age 32 and 0 for 113 
5.) Landon Cassill, age 25 and 0 for 191
4.) Josh Wise, age 31 and 0 for 216
3.) Michael McDowell, age 29 and 0 for 243
2.) David Stremme, age 37 and 0 for 341
1.) J.J. Yeley, age 37 and 0 for 380

Five of those drivers are on sorta crappy, underfunded teams. Danica drives for Stewart-Haas Racing, which is well funded and receives technical support and engines from one of the top teams in NASCAR, Hendrick Motorsports.

Whatever… let’s talk about some race car drivin’ women who are not just good at what they do, but they excel.

These are drag racin’ girls of the NHRA!

Last weekend during qualifying at The Strip at Las Vegas, my girl Courtney Force broke the track speed and E.T. record going 325.37 MPH in 4.006 seconds. That speed is faster than any funny car driver has ever gone.

Unfortunately, she was eliminated in the second round.

Alexis DeJoria was NOT eliminated and went on to win in funny car!

Alexis DeJoria Las Vegas

I’m not a big fan of Alexis because she drives a Toyota…

Patron funny car

… but it’s the Patrón XO Cafe Toyota so she gets a pass… Ever try that XO Cafe stuff? Delightful… tastes like coffee!

Additionally, Alexis won in Phoenix earlier this year and is third in funny car points!

Also victorious last week was Erica Enders-Stevens in pro stock!

Erica Enders-Stevens Las Vegas Win

Her runner-up finish a few weeks ago and last weeks win in the Elite Motorsports Camaro…

Enders-Stevens Camaro

… have put her at the top of the pro stock points!

Great job ladies!

Force Dejoria Stevens

… Unfortunately, the NHRA is idle this weekend, so I don’t have THAT to look forward to…

I do have rugby to watch. Alexis’ first game is today and boy are they disorganized! The game was originally at 11:30. Then it was changed to 1:00. Then 12:15-ish is what she just told me. Ugh!

The 3-2 Indians play today; they have the 2-3 Minnesota Twins in town… if you’re in to baseball. I am not!

The Wolf of Wall Street is On Demand. I’ve heard that’s pretty good, so I might check it out!

And Hulk is on TBS!

Or go to the bar!

Decisions, decisions!

Enjoy the rest of your Sunday, folks!

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