If you watch ESPN at all you’ve prolly seen them either talking about or airing commercials featuring Browns backup QB Johnny Manziel vs. Redskins starting QB Robert Griffin III tonight.

They even ran this graphic last week…


Are you serious ESPN? While everything in that graphic is true, what they fail to mention is that Manziel is 3 inches shorter, 15 pounds lighter and 100% whiter than RGIII! This comparison shouldn’t be made!

Aside from that… tonight’s game is a PRACTICE game. It’s week two of the preseason for Christ’s sake!

Cleveland has named “incumbent” Brian Hoyer as the starting QB for tonight vs. the Redskins. Why is he the incumbent? Because he has a 2-1 record as a starter in the NFL. In FIVE seasons! WOO HOO!

Let’s not forget, three of those seasons were spent as Tom Brady’s backup over in New England. In 2012 he backed up Kevin Kolb in Arizona.

No real data to work with there!

Last year he played, start to finish, in two games for the Browns. He beat Minnesota and Cincinnati, an eventual 5-10 team and a one and done wildcard playoff team respectively. In those games he went a combined 55 of 92 (59.8%) for 5 TDs and 3 picks. That’s a QB rating of 86.2.

Not much data to work with there, either. But… it’s data none the less.

There’s absolutely no NFL data on Manziel, obviously, because he’s a rookie. If you notice in that ESPN graphic, Manziel and RGIII were both picked in the 1st round and the second QB selected. RGIII was the second PLAYER selected; Manziel was the TWENTY-second player selected. Big difference.

Manziel was falling, possibly out of the first round of the draft, and rumor has it he all but begged the Browns to take him via text message.

So they did.

Since then, he’s hung out in Vegas a lot, snorting coke off strippers asses, and sold a shit ton of merchandise and season tickets for the Browns!

Now there’s some data that Browns owner Jimmy Haslam likes!

Jimmy Haslam yee haw

To be perfectly honest, I’m looking forward to seeing what Manziel does tonight.

I don’t believe he’ll start at Pittsburgh in week one though, regardless of if he lights shit up tonight in the twenty or so snaps he’ll take. Dude needs to learn the playbook and figure out how to stand in the pocket and make plays with his arm and brain before that’ll happen.

Or when Hoyer gets hurt again!

I’m interested to see how our defense looks tonight, with Redskins WRs Pierre Garcon and DeSean Jackson making their preseason debuts. Both of them can be dangerous. A badass pass rush by Cleveland’s front seven will be key to shutting them down!

I’d also like to see if Cleveland has any WRs of their own, since no one has been catching many passes at camp. Let me clarify that… they DROP passes. Why do we always have this problem here?

Lastly, I’m looking forward to seeing the Redskins cheerleaders…

Redskin Cheerleader asses

… ’cause we don’t have cheerleaders here in Cleveland. We have a drumline!


GO BROWNS! Enjoy what will probably be the most viewed NFL Monday Night preseason football game ever because of Johnny Fucking Football!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s