Already Freakin’ Out about Tomorrow ~ Browns @ Bengals!

Hoyer Country

I dunno what to think here! I usually spend a shit ton of time looking at this week’s opponent, analyzing previous games, looking at individual players’ stats and then formulating some sort of opinion.

I got nothin’!

Cincinnati doesn’t look like any kind of powerhouse on paper but, then, I’ve watched every Browns game so far this season and they don’t look good, period.

Yeah, they have flashes here and there but haven’t been consistent anywhere.

I can’t even go with my gut because, when I try to do that, I get nauseous!

I guess I’ll just throw out some general thoughts/wishes and see what happens tomorrow…

QB1 Brian Hoyer

You need to play your ass off from here on out, starting tomorrow night!

Some shit your General Manager, Ray Fucking Farmer, said the other day made me think he’s all about Johnny Fucking Football Snortin’ Cocaine off Strippers Asses Manziel being the future of this team. YOUR team, Brian. Don’t screw up and let that dork take over.

Coach Pettine

Run the ball. Run the ball! Dust off RB Isaiah Crowell and run the motherfuckin’ ball! Run it off tackle, because that area around the center/guards is just a clusterfuck right now!

Defense

Have you guys seen Cincinnati’s QB Andy Dalton? He’s a damn ginger..

Dalton Vag

… and I don’t know about you, but I’ve never met a ginger that wasn’t a large, gaping vagina. Don’t let that dude beat you up because that’s no different than getting torched by a woman or, worse, an effeminate “man.”

Kick his ass!

Speaking of kicking ass, apparently ex Browns WR Greg Little is on the Bengals now after being cut by Cleveland this past May, signed and released by the Raiders within 3 months, and signed by Cincy a couple weeks ago because why not?

Dude’s been talking shit the last few days so kick his ass also!

Special Teams

Y’all been doin’ alright except for punt returns. Figure that shit out! If you ask me, keep letting tiny Travis Benjamin keep doing it. Dude’s gonna break out for a big one eventually.

Anyway… I still have no clue on how this game is gonna go. Just don’t embarrass Cleveland tomorrow night on national TV, okay Brownies?

Fuck you Ray Farmer and your little boy toy Johnny Manziel!

GO BROWNS!

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