Already Freakin’ Out about Tomorrow ~ Colts @ Browns!

Cleveland Browns v Buffalo Bills

I hate being wrong!

After the Browns offense (NOTE: I said OFFENSE; not blaming any one player here) stunk it up against the Bills last week and owner Jimmy Haslam coach Pettine benched QB1 Brian Hoyer for Ryan Leaf Johnny Manziel, I incorrectly ASSumed that Hoyer was done for the season.

Boy am I glad I was wrong this time!

On Wednesday, the Browns announced that Hoyer is starting tomorrow against the Indianapolis Colts.

This is a good decision. The team HAD to stick with the guy that got them to 7-5!

I know I’m beating a dead horse here but whatever… this offense has more issues than just at QB.

  1. We lost Pro Bowl C Alex Mack in week 6. That has directly affected both pass and run blocking.
  2. We lost Pro Bowl TE Jordan Cameron in week 7. That throws the passing game off. TEs Barnidge and Dray have filled in respectably, but Barnidge is now out with a rib injury.
  3. Pro Bowl WR Josh Gordon returned from a 10 game pot smoking suspension a couple weeks ago and still isn’t on the same page with the rest of the offense.

99% of Browns fans are pretty stupid and don’t realize how much those three issues can handcuff an offense.

All those fools jerked off in unison when Manziel took the field. They wanted to see what he could do against a Bills defense that hadn’t gameplanned for him and  whose team was up 20-3 with 12 minutes left in the game.

Manziel’s stats? 5 of 8 passing for 63 yards, 2 rushes for 13 yards and a TD. I will say this (Shhhh… don’t tell anyone): Manziel’s first drive looked pretty okay. In 3:14 he carried the Browns 80 yards in 8 plays for a TD. Dude rolls out incredibly fast and gets rid of the ball somewhat quickly.

He’s a dumbass, though.

He threw a pass into coverage to TE Jim Dray that was damn near deflected/intercepted, but caught, and all the Manziel sheep thought it was awesome. It wasn’t. Here’s a still shot of right before hew threw (click to embiggen)…


… RB Terrance West has his left hand up because he’s open… big time! If ya watch the play in real time, Manziel is totally locked on to Dray the entire time and doesn’t even see West come free off his block. There wasn’t a Bills defender within 10 yards of West; woulda been a nice TD.

Fortunately, 2 plays later Johnny Fuckface scrambled for a 10 yard TD.

UNfortunately, the idiot dove head first, white Michael Vick style, into the endzone; got hit by one of the Bills on the way in. Then he did that God awful money sign shit to celebrate…. you don’t celebrate like that when your team is losing asshole!

Manziel will never finish a complete game running like that.

On his second drive he went 4 plays for 9 yards and turned the ball over on downs. He actually got hit and fumbled on third down but the NFL wants to see Manziel succeed no matter what officials reversed the fumble call and said it was an incomplete pass. It was a fumble.

Don’t get me wrong folks, I wanna see the Browns win and get into the playoffs. I couldn’t care less who’s playing QB when that happens. Manziel ain’t the one, though.

Contrary to any excitement expressed by Browns players about Manziel providing a “spark” in last week’s loss, tiny WR Travis Benjamin had this to say about the nitwit:

We just figure, as receivers, we have to work more. If Johnny comes in the huddle and he pronounces the play wrong, we’ve got to make sure we correct it. We’ve got to make sure we correct him. Offensive linemen, tight ends, all the receivers, all the running backs, we’ve just got to make sure we’ve got to be in form when he’s in the game

Case. Closed. Manziel can’t call a freakin’ play! Hoyer’s the one!

So what about tomorrow? Shit… This might be our toughest game this year.

Colts QB Andrew Luck might be a dork but, damn, he sure can play football! He plays like Pittsburgh’s Ben Roethlisberger, except he’s faster, has a fully functioning brain and he’s never raped any women.

The Browns defense needs to pressure Luck all damn game! That dude gets too comfy and he’s  gonna throw for 400+ yards on us!

Colts RB Trent Richardson, who the Browns traded away a couple years ago, implied that he’s gonna run all over us ’cause we didn’t believe in him. He averages like 36 yards a game. Shut his ass down and don’t let him break some NFL record tomorrow.

Also look forward to other ex-Browns to try to beat us up tomorrow. Joshua Cribbs, D’Qwell Jackson and Mike Adams hope to make some sorta statement.

Just don’t let ’em Browns!

Hey Coach Pettine, if you’re reading this, how about we see some no huddle/hurry up offense tomorrow? That shit works; it’s not used nearly as often enough!

Tomorrow’s game is a must win if we’re gonna keep our playoff hopes alive.


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