Category Archives: Food

I’ll Eat What I Want To Eat Dammit!

Wheat

IMPORTANT DISCLAIMER: I am a salesman. Not a doctor, researcher or nutritionist. I’m not obligated to post links to support my whining arguments. This is my blog. Go start your own and hyperlink the shit out of it! Also, I really like food.

It seems like three or four times a day I see articles or crap on social media telling me that the foods I eat are gonna slowly kill me, or in the case I’m about to share here, “…CAN DESTROY YOUR HEALTH!”

A bunch of people have been sharing this article blog post from May of last year on Facebook the last few days, titled 6 Ways “Heart-Healthy” Whole Wheat Can Destroy Your Health, and I finally got fed up and had to say something.

People don’t read well, or at least don’t comprehend what they’re reading sometimes. The individuals who shared the blog post really seemed to think that whole wheat and other gluten rich products are unhealthy..

They’re not…

This post is speaking to gluten sensitive individuals, or .75% (1 in 133) of people in developed countries.

But the guy from Iceland who wrote the post used some pretty scary headings if ya just breeze through the post without actually reading. Stuff like this:

Wheat Contains Substances That “Steal” Nutrients From The Body

This ones even better…

Wheat Consumption is Associated With Several Brain Diseases

I shit you not… But wait, there’s more!

Wheat May Be Addictive

Huh? What the fuck, man?

[snorts a slice of Schwebel’s]

Here’s the entire section under that batshit crazy heading:

There are some who believe that wheat may be addictive.

It is definitely not proven yet, although there are a few interesting observations that allow for some speculation.

When gluten proteins are broken down in a test tube, the peptides they form are able to stimulate opioid receptors. These peptides are called gluten exorphins.

Opioid receptors are the receptors in the brain that are stimulated by drugs like heroin and morphine, as well as endorphines that are released naturally when we do something like running.

The theory goes like this… the gluten we eat gets broken down into these opioid peptides, which then travel into the blood and eventually into the brain, where they cause addiction to wheat.

Gluten exorphins have been found in the blood of celiac patients. There’s also some evidence in animals that the gluten exorphins make it into the body.

At this point, this is only theoretical. No hard evidence proves wheat to be addictive.

Personally I find the idea to be plausible. Back in the day when I used to eat wheat I would often crave it. Almost every food that I would get powerful cravings for foods that included both sugar and wheat.

This guy has got to be telling a joke that’s going over my head… Seriously! All I really got out of that part was maybe you shouldn’t do test tube shots of broken down gluten proteins.

I craved wheat back in the day, too, because there was peanut butter and jelly between it.

I still crave wheat. Not because of a potential addiction, but because it’s FOOD and FOOD IS AWESOME!

There is another attack mounting against my beloved wheat and baking industry in general.

The bad guy in this publication is azodicarbonamide, or ADA. It’s a chemical compound that is used as a food additive for bleaching flour and also helps improve overall baking functionality.

It’s also used in the creation of foam plastic and other polymers.

Apparently if ADA is inhaled (And I’m not talking about “inhaling” a glorious Subway Spicy Italian Sub) it can cause respiratory issues. It’s banned as a food additive in Australia and Europe because of this.

I did a little research and do you know what other chemical compound is used as both a food additive AND a polymer manufacturing agent?

Continue reading

Guess Who Won the Chili Cookoff at Work?

DUH! That’s a silly question! I won bitches! Second year in a row. I’m currently contemplating retirement, though I’m also considering switching to a “non-traditional” recipe for next year so I can win THAT category too… Time will tell, folks!

So here’s my record thus far…

Chili Cook Off

Two wins and two runner ups out of five contests. I’m the man!

Now I’ve got to tell you about some of the horror I’ve endured over the last 48 hours. Roughly two hours after receiving my trophy it was kidnapped by this bitch my coworker, Ruby…

Ruby

… Don’t let the smile fool you… pure evil right there.

Ruby took my trophy and then taunted me with pictures of it in various locations throughout our office. Like this:

"We went for a little adventure today."

“We went for a little adventure today.”

Oh you can’t even imagine how pissed I was!

These kidnapping pictures continued until around 1:00 today, when I returned from lunch to find my dear trophy in the trophy case in the foyer!

Woo hoo! I win, Ruby…

Got my baby back

… now take your evil elsewhere!

I placed the trophy safely in one of my desk drawers and got back to work! Well, when I went outside for a smoke break, freakin’ Ruby apparently rifled through my desk drawers and found my trophy… and STOLE IT AGAIN!

Trophy Stolen Again

Do you misplace things easily?

NO, Ruby, I DON’T misplace things! I specifically placed this item in a safe place and you stole it! 

Shit was about to get REAL until a couple hours later, when I returned to my desk from a meeting to find this:

Girls from work

They were all waiting for my autograph for being the “Chili King!”

Autographs

Autographs2

So I signed autographs!

Autographs3

Notice all the extra trophies there? Yeah, this is what they did to my desk…

Trophy Desk

Lotsa trophies there with engravings referencing flatulence!

I was actually quite flattered by this… we all usually have a good bit of fun at work, but this was over the top and a huge blast.

The ringleader who set up today’s autograph session was my hilarious coworker, Dixie Wrecked…

Dixie Wrecked

Dixie Wrecked stuffing the ballot box!

… she wouldn’t let me use her real name but wanted me to let you all know that you should say her name out loud and fast… Dixie Wrecked. DIXIE WRECKED!

I work with some of the coolest people ever! It melts my heart to know that so many people would spend a few extra minutes of their busy day on me!

Suck It Burger Flippers!

Kevin Cole

In case you didn’t hear about it, fast food workers across the country walked off their really tough jobs of deep frying french fries, flipping burgers and assembling $1 sandwiches to demand that their minimum wage increase from $7.25 an hour to $15 an hour.

Wait.. WHAT? A 107% pay increase?? That’s pretty bold!

That’s pretty damn ridiculous too!

A lot of people nowadays are such pussies; they just want everything handed to them.

If you work at McDonald’s and make $7.25 an hour, but don’t want to continue to make $7.25 an hour you have two options:

  1. Bust your ass and work your way up the company ladder like normal people do.
  2. Go work somewhere that pays more.

“Oh, but poor Johnny is 23 and has 5 kids from 4 different women. He can’t provide for his family while only making $7.25 an hour to put together sausage, egg & cheese biscuits.”

Damn… writing that just made me hungry!

Anyway, Johnny is a DUMBASS to be in his familial situation. If he’s that dumb, and his skill set only allows him to create those glorious, delicious breakfast sandwiches, how did he come up with the idea to walk off the job and demand that Obama hands him a huge raise?

The Service Employees International Union, which represents more than 2 million workers in health care, janitorial and other industries, has been providing financial support and training for local organizers in the fast-food strikes around the country.

Well there ya go… fucking unions AGAIN screwing everything up!

Some people here may feel bad for the lazy, promiscuous, Johnny. I do not! Do y’all think employers will merely absorb their higher payrolls if the Feds were to actually raise the minimum wage to $15? They absolutely won’t.

Consumers (that’s US ya stupid libs) will pay for it as menu pricing will increase dramatically! Your “$5 Foot Loooong” will become $13!

Look, If ya don’t wanna make minimum wage, don’t work at the minimum! Bust your ass, you’ll get noticed and promoted. If you’re working for a company that doesn’t push their people to be the best, and reward them for doing so, then move on!

There is no future in flipping burgers, however… That should just be a jumping off point…

ARE YOU READY FOR SOME FOOTBALL?

Did you know we finally have REAL NFL games starting in 8 DAYS??? That’s right! Next Thursday, September 5th kicks off the NFL’s regular season with Ravens @ Broncos!

I’m so sick of these preseason games. Don’t get me wrong, I love any kind of football, but when the Browns look good in their first two preseason games then look like the Browns this past Saturday while getting crushed by the Colts, I become fully prepared for the regular season. I still believe the Browns are gonna have a good season this year. God, I’m so nervous about this Browns season.

I am looking forward to Carrie Underwood and her legs…

Carrie Underwood

… kicking off the Sunday night games this year!

Anyway, with the season upon us next Thursday, that means THIS weekend is Fantasy Football Draft Weekend! Woo hoo! I’ve got an online draft Friday night that I’ll conduct from For Shiggles Central with the assistance of Bernie and Bud Light!

Sunday is the big LIVE draft party, taking place at a location that will not be disclosed! And ohhhh there will be food there! Meatballs, beer, fancy pizza, beer, various dips, beer, subs, beer and my award winning chili!

Lots of people attempt to make chili, but I’m one of the few who actually make chili that’s worth eating.

For those of you who fail at producing a decent chili, I offer an early version of my stuff that will wow people at your draft parties!

  • 5 lbs. ground beef
  • 2 lg. onions (not sweet) largely chopped
  • 2 green bell peppers largely chopped (I use orange bells for mine – GO BROWNS!)
  • 4 cloves fresh garlic
  • 2 dried ancho chilies (dried poblanos) seeded and cut small
  • 4 tbsp. cumin (love the name of this spice)
  • 2 tbsp. ancho chili powder
  • Ashes from a joint
  • 4 tbsp. Worcestershire sauce
  • ¼ cup sugar
  • 2 chipotle peppers seeded and chopped
  • 2 tbsp. adobo sauce
  • 2 tbsp. semen (go to http://www.redtube.com if ya need help)
  • 2 family size cans tomato soup
  • 2 (28 oz.) cans diced tomatoes – not drained
  • 1 lg. can (40 oz.) dark kidney beans – not drained
  • 1 lg. can (30 ½ oz.) Brooks (or other) chili hot beans – not drained
  • 2 jars salsa of your choice
  • 3 tbsp. Olive oil
  • 1 tbsp. salt
  • 1 tbsp. black pepper

Heat the olive oil in a big ass pot. Add onions, bell peppers, salt and black pepper. Cook and stir often over medium heat until translucent. Add meat & garlic and brown (as a time saver, while the meat is browning, prepare the ancho chilies & chipotle peppers; put ‘em in a bowl with the cumin, ancho chili powder, joint ashes, Worcestershire sauce, sugar, adobo sauce and semen) . Drain grease*. Dump the “bowl of magic in,” add the rest of the ingredients, put the lid on only two thirds of the way and simmer for 2 hours. Stir often to keep chili from sticking and burning. Best flavor if refrigerated overnight and reheated.

*Bestest flavor if you don’t drain the grease, but refrigerate the chili overnight. As the stuff cools, the grease will rise to the top and then harden. Then you can pick that 1/8 inch of hard sludge off the top. This is your recipe now.

You’re welcome!

Mmmmmm!

Make this Meal NOW! Southwest Breakfast Burritos!

Burrito Girl

Yes… I stole the following recipe from HERE, but you don’t need to go there because I’m much more fun to prepare food with… and as always, I’ll tweak this recipe every time I make it to turn it into MY recipe!

Anyway… the girls and I hit the grocery store on the way home today because I had nothing to make for dinner. I asked the girls what they might like. Of course Delana said corn dogs. Nah, not this week too! Alexis said we should have breakfast burritos sometime. I figured we could do that next weekend, but Alexis suggested, “We could have breakfast for dinner.”

SOLD!

This recipe make a fairly large batch, but that’s how we roll here… leftovers, ya know!

Here’s what ya need:

3 cloves garlic minced
1/2 red onion diced
1 tomato diced
1/4 cup fresh cilantro
1 lb pork sausage
3 tbs butter
12 eggs
2/3 cup milk
1/2 tsp salt
1 (1 oz) package taco seasoning
16 (8 inch) flour tortillas
1 ton shredded cheese
Taco sauce or salsa of your choice

 

Directions:

  1. Mince the garlic, dice the onion. Heat 1 tbsp butter in a large skillet and cook garlic & onion on medium ’til translucent. In the meantime dice the tomato and toss with the cilantro, set those aside.
  2. Add sausage and taco mix to the garlic & onion and cook until the sausage is crumbly, evenly brown and no longer pink. While that is cooking…
  3. Whisk together the eggs, milk and salt. Heat 2 tbs butter in another large skillet over medium-high heat. Pour in the egg mixture; cook & stir until eggs are scrambled, about 5 minutes…
  4. If you’re a pussy, drain the grease from the sausage. Otherwise add sausage mixture, and the tomatoes & cilantro, to the egg mixture and mix it all together…

Spoon this heavenly mixture onto a tortilla and top with cheese, salsa, cheese, taco sauce and a little more cheese… or top with whatever you like; I’m thinkin’ bacon next time! Either way, good luck folding the burrito!

ENJOY!

Ten Days ’til Super Bowl 47! What are YOU Cooking for It?

NFL Logo

There are so many good foods associated with football and, more importantly, Super Bowl parties! Chips, beer, dips, wings, beer, subs, salads, bratwurst, beer, pizza and CHILI! Tis the season for chili!

Chili is not difficult to make create, but oftentimes a good recipe is hard to come by. I’m gonna make that easy for y’all! What follows is a recipe for my award winning chili. Actually, it’s an earlier version of my constantly evolving recipe, but a great recipe nonetheless!

  • 5 lbs. ground beef
  • 2 lg. onions (not sweet) largely chopped
  • 2 green bell peppers largely chopped (I use orange bells for mine – GO BROWNS!)
  • 4 cloves fresh garlic
  • 2 dried ancho chilies (dried poblanos) seeded and cut small
  • 4 tbsp. cumin (love the name of this spice)
  • 2 tbsp. ancho chili powder
  • Ashes from a joint
  • 4 tbsp. Worcestershire sauce
  • ¼ cup sugar
  • 2 chipotle peppers seeded and chopped
  • 2 tbsp. adobo sauce
  • 2 tbsp. semen
  • 2 family size cans tomato soup
  • 2 (28 oz.) cans diced tomatoes – not drained
  • 1 lg. can (40 oz.) dark kidney beans – not drained
  • 1 lg. can (30 ½ oz.) Brooks (or other) chili hot beans – not drained
  • 2 jars salsa of your choice
  • 3 tbsp. Olive oil
  • 1 tbsp. salt
  • 1 tbsp. black pepper

Heat the olive oil in a big ass pot. Add onions, bell peppers, salt and black pepper. Cook and stir often over medium heat until translucent. Add meat & garlic and brown (as a time saver, while the meat is browning, prepare the ancho chilies & chipotle peppers; put ‘em in a bowl with the cumin, ancho chili powder, joint ashes, Worcestershire sauce, sugar, adobo sauce and semen) . Drain grease*. Dump the “bowl of magic in,” add the rest of the ingredients, put the lid on only two thirds of the way and simmer for 2 hours. Stir often to keep chili from sticking and burning. Best flavor if refrigerated overnight and reheated.

*Bestest flavor if you don’t drain the grease, but refrigerate the chili overnight. As the stuff cools, the grease will rise to the top and then harden. Then you can pick that 1/8 inch of hard sludge off the top. This is your recipe now.

Mmmmmm!

Sexy Saturday ~ NFL Divisional Playoffs Edition!

NFL Logo

Before I get started I have a VERY IMPORTANT MESSAGE for all of you. Well, actually it’s for those of you in the local area from Cleveland to Pittsburgh… I’ve discovered the ultimate bacon at Giant Eagle! Among the many varieties they offer, one is their own brand. It’s a thick sliced peppered bacon! While some brands have shrunk their packages to as little as 12 ozs, Giant Eagles comes as a 24 oz. package. That’s a POUND AND A HALF for you democrats! 17 thick slices!

Also, I no longer fry bacon; I bake it! Try this: Line a cookie sheet (that has sides, dems!) with aluminum foil. Lay the bacon on the sheet (you may have to overlap it a bit to fit it all, but that’s okay). Put it in the oven AND THEN turn the oven up to 400 degrees (you don’t preheat when baking bacon). Depending on the thickness of the bacon it’ll take anywhere from 20-30 minutes to cook. This thick sliced Giant Eagle bacon takes thirty minutes. At the 15 minute mark I remove the pan, un-overlap the bacon, and put it in for another 15 minutes. Simply. Delightful!!!

Baked Bacon

It takes some adjusting to get it perfect, depending on your oven and, like I said, the thickness of the bacon, but once you get it down, you’ll never wanna fry bacon again!

Now that I’ve made you hungry, guess I’ll make ya horny too!

Here are today’s NFL Divisional matchups!

Representing the AFC we have the Baltimore Ravens…

…at the Denver Broncos…

Broncos Cheerleaders

I’m going with Denver on this one. Look at the position, and the boots, the Broncos cheerleaders are utilizing. I mean… WOW!

Also, Peyton Manning and the rest of the Broncos offense are nearly unstoppable. They go into that no huddle, hurry up shotgun offense and opposing defenses just can’t keep up!

Even that tough Ravens D will get shredded today. All the emotion from Ray Lewis retiring won’t be enough to slow down Manning. Today will be Ray Ray’s last game.

And Joe Flacco can’t hide his douchebaggery two weeks in a row. Anquan Boldin saved his ass last week. Denver’s D won’t allow that to happen.

I say: Denver 34 ~ Baltimore 17

Tonight’s NFC matchup is the Green Bay Packers….

Aaron Rodgers Destiny Newton

… at the San Francisco 49ers…

49rs Cheerleader

I see Green Bay winning this one. HA! You thought I was only gonna base my picks on the teams’ cheerleaders, didn’t you? Well Green Bay doesn’t even have cheerleaders, so I had to picture QB Aaron Rodgers frolicking with his girlfriend, Destiny (There’s a stripper name!) Newton.

A quick thought on cheerleaders in the NFL. 26 of the 32 teams have cheerleaders; that’s 81%. Is it any wonder that 87% of the teams still alive in the playoffs have cheerleaders? NO! Cheerleaders are absolutely necessary for a team to be successful. Am I contradicting myself by saying that Green Bay will be successful without cheerleaders? ABSOLUTELY. I’m hoping my Browns finally get some cheerleaders! The new owner keeps talking about putting a good product on the field for the fans to watch. I can’t imagine they’re talking about the team!

I believe this might be the best game of the weekend. Gonna be pretty close in my opinion. The difference in this game will be the Packers defense. If they can shut down Frank Gore, like they did Adrian Peterson last week, and force Colin Kaepernick to throw the ball…. game over.

Green Bay also has so many damn ways to move the ball, I see them wearing down San Fran’s D.

I say: Green Bay 37 ~ San Francisco 34

Tomorrow’s early game, the NFC matchup, features the Seattle Seahawks…

Seahawks Cheerleaders

… at the Atlanta Falcons…

Falcons Cheerleader

Seahawks all the way! Loogit them cheerleaders!

The tandem of Seattle QB Russell Wilson and RB Marshawn Lynch will make the difference in this game. The read-option shit is awesome and will give the weak Falcon’s D fits.

If Seattle’s D can rattle Matt Ryan a bit, he’ll choke again. The dual threat of Roddy White and Julio Jones will mean nothing. Falcon’s RB Michael Turner is a fat tub of goo and will be a non factor.

I say: Seattle 24 ~ Atlanta 14

The AFC matchup tomorrow is the Houston Texans…

Texans Cheerleaders

… at the New England Patriots…

Patriots Cheerleaders

GOD I despise tom Brady. He’s the whiniest QB in the history of the league. Even if a defender merely brushes up against him, he cries for a flag.

Tom Brady crying

It’s no wonder that his horse faced “supermodel” wife looks more manly than he does.

Gisele Bundchen

That was rude of me to say… Only her horse face is more manly, because Gisele Bundchen has other ASSets…

Gisele Bundchen Bikini Ass

Oops! I almost forgot I was talking about football games here…

As much as I hate to do it, I gotta go with New England winning this one…

Like the Packers, New England has too many ways to move the ball for Houston to hang in there. Ridley runs pretty well, then they use that little douche Danny Woodhead pretty effectively. As for throwing, Brady is the master! He throws to so many targets; Welker, Lloyd, the TEs Gronkowski & Hernandez (if Hernandez is limited, look for a big game by TE Michael Hoomanawanui), and that little douche Woodhead!

For Houston, Matt Shaub really only has one clear target; WR Andre Johnson. If the Pats can shut him down, I don’t see the Texans having much of a chance.

I expect Texans RB Arian Foster to have a good game, both running and receiving. Did you guys know Foster is a vegan? That means he’s definitely taking HGH! Nobody maintains that much muscle mass by eating dandelions…

I say: Patriots 41 ~ Texans 17

This is the only of my picks in which I’ll be rooting against the eventual winner. I do not want the Pats to win and will be rooting for the Texans. I’m just being realistic with my pick.

Alright… this IS Sexy Saturday, so here are my inclusions for the ladies and men who like men…

49ers QB Colin Kaepernick…

Colin Kaepernick

Patriots TE Rob Gronkowski…

Rob Gronkowski ESPN Body Issue

 

And a Tom Brady slideshow!

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Enjoy the rest of your weekend, folks! Go Broncos! Go Packers! Go Seahawks! Go Texans!

I Can’t Make This Shit Up…

I was just reading the news and saw this headline: Will your next burger be ground up mealworms?

Naturally, I clicked on it… and it wasn’t a joke! I cannot believe that there are actually researchers out there, these ones from the Netherlands, that are attempting to figure out if mealworms are a viable replacement for beef, pork and poultry… MEALWORMS…

Mealworm

JESUS! That’s just gross! These are things that the girlies and I feed to our lizard… and these nutjobs wanna replace a big juicy burger with ground up, fused together beetle larvae?

Fuck that noise!

Why are they looking into this? Because they’re stupid tree huggers, that’s why! They feel that the amount of acreage required to raise livestock is ravaging our environment too much and maybe it’ll be cheaper and take up less space to raise mealworms instead.

And apparently insects fart less than cows, pigs and chickens; again a big difference in greenhouse gasses. Of course insects fart less you idiots! Y’all ever see how tiny they are?

Not surprising at all, there are wackos from California in on this research…

Here’s an actual quote from entomologist Brian Fisher at the California Academy of Sciences:

We need to promote a campaign along the lines of, “If it’s okay to eat sushi, it’s okay to eat insects.” If you eat lobster, eating insects is pretty much the same thing.

No… it’s NOT the same! Big, juicy lobster tail… or crunchy little bugs? That’s a no brainer for normal people who don’t receive government funding!

Another knucklehead entomologist had an even more exciting take on the subject of ingesting insects. Here’s Florence Dunkel from the University of Montana…

The freeze-dried forms of mealworms produced in the Netherlands are easy to grind into a powder on your kitchen countertop. I have already used them with good success in brownies.

Ewwww. Just EWWWW!

WOO HOO! It’s Draft Day! Here I Describe the Bhut Jolokia Experience!

If you think jalapeños are hot, don’t even read this…

The bhut jolokia, also known as the ghost chili, is one of the hottest chilies in the world. Until a couple years ago, it was #1 on the planet for hotness. It was recently surpassed by another chili which, I assume, is probably only suitable for chemical warfare.

Did you ever have wings at the bar that were so hot you had to sign a waiver because they were gonna assault your mouth and then destroy your ass the next day? Get within two feet of a dozen wings like that and they burn your eyes. That is not what the ghost chili is about.

I have a ghost chili plant that I grew from a seed last year. It produced a handful of chilies but, unfortunately, I had to freeze them because of timing. Fast forward several months to this past February, when I used a couple of ’em in my award winning chili. I sampled one of ’em and it was definitely hot, though not as hot as I expected. I figure that was because it was frozen for a while.

This year, however, the same plant produced upwards of 30 chilies, most of which I harvested yesterday afternoon.

I incorporated four of those chilies into my chili that I made yesterday for today’s fantasy football draft party. So I HAD to try a fresh chili…. and holy shit was it an experience!

I chopped and seeded the four ghost chilies and tried a little bite. For starters, it is a very sweet smelling chili. There is no hint of the terror lying ahead. The flavor was that of a very sweet pepper, more so than your standard green peppers. I thought that maybe the chilies are only hot when grown in their native India.

Then the burn started….

It took about 30 seconds for that tiny little bite to destroy me. And that shit got hot! Now I like hot foods, so it wasn’t necessarily a big deal. But it got so hot that I tried the usual remedies to stop the pain. I started with milk… It seemed to work for about 10 seconds, then the burn returned. Bread? same deal.

Holy shit are these chilies hot!

Again… I put four of them in my chili last night. As it simmered, I sampled it a few times and it’s got a nice heat to it. At least a minute of burn with every bite!

Now why would I make my chili so zesty? REVENGE!

There are a handful of guys (one of whom is my boss) at today’s draft party who don’t like beans in chili. Seriously! That’s dumb! Apparently they don’t put beans in chili in Buffalo, NY. So, to appease the whiners, I always leave the beans out of my “draft” chili. Yesterday I added the heat to make up for the lack of beans!

Good thing is, my batch of chili is so freakin’ huge that a lot of it stays here. And that portion has extra beans, which my girlies and I love!

So Will, Jamie and Diane… If you read my blog know that I’ll be freezing some of this chili so y’all can try it next weekend! It’s out of this world!

Oh yeah…..I’ve heard that people handle ghost chilies with surgical gloves. I’m stupid, so I do not. I’ve washed my hands at least a dozen times last night and this morning…. and my fingers are still burning. The burn transfers to anything I touch, so pissing has to be aided with a toilet paper shield!

And just in case you were interested, HERE is a previous version of my award winning chili!

Hug your children and love them every day

The Ghost Chili Debacle

Last year, my buddy Chad gave me bhut jolokia (ghost chile) seeds.

It was late in the season, but I planted them anyway and ended up with a pretty nice pepper plant. By fall, the plant had produced four chilies that weren’t yet mature. Due to cooling temperatures, I had to bring the plant inside the house (FYI… pepper plants are perennials and will live several years if brought indoors to escape the brutally cold Ohio winters) .

The four chilies had to mature under incandescent lighting. Once they appeared ripe, I plucked them off the plant, stuck ’em in a freezer bag and froze ’em!

Well, back in February, we had our annual chili cookoff at work. I removed one of the ghost chilies from the freezer and incorporated it into my recipe. I won the chili cookoff… prolly because of that pepper!

Now this year…. that same bhut jolokia plant has been outside since May. There are 28 chilies on it…one of which is ripe!

Here is my dilemma. Is this chili gonna be super hot because I picked it right off the plant and never froze it? What do I cook it with? I’m thinkin’ about makin’ a western-style omelette with it!

Any other recipe ideas will be greatly appreciated.

Stay tuned….

Hug your children and love them every day