Category Archives: Life

In Which I Let Tesla Do the Talkin’

Tesla

I don’t like to talk about myself; makes me feel selfish. Right now, though, I feel like crap for helping people out so, fuck it, I might as well talk about myself ’cause shit ain’t gonna get no worse.

See, I always put everyone ahead of myself. My folks raised me to be that way. Yeah when I was little I certainly didn’t get it, but once I started having kids a bit over 17 years ago I picked up on it real quick. I put myself at the back of the line.

Only five years into my now failed marriage, I decided to work two jobs to make ends meet and pay for two kids in daycare so my now ex-wife didn’t have to change her expensive habits. I’d get up early, get the kids fed and off to daycare then go to my first job for eight hours. I’d get home from the first job, make dinner for everyone, then head to my second job from 6:00 pm ’til midnight! The ex-wife worked full time, too, so I’m not knocking her here.

I worked 74 hours a week for 5 years and NEVER got a thank you. I was merely told, “You’re doing what you have to do!” It was never “We” but you, you you. That’s part of the reason there’s no more “We.”

Fast forward to a month or so ago when I helped my oldest kid get her first car. I was under pressure from the kid and the ex-wife to make this car thing happen… so I did. I found a car for her, had the guy knock a few hundred bucks off, and contributed several hundred of my own because the kid didn’t have enough money of her own to buy it and mom certainly wasn’t helping.

Well this car is 20 years old so there have been a few slight problems with it. That’s not good enough, however, because if there’s a problem with the car it’s MY fault!

A couple days ago, the kid prolly left the lights on, or something else, when she got to school and it drained the battery. What did she have to say on Twitter?

As I was jumping the battery, she told me how she didn’t want to be there because it was cold and rainy. I’m like, “I don’t wanna be here either!”

Her mom has already recommended they sell the car to get another one, because I fucked up and found this one. Nobody will care about the several hundred bucks I contributed, either, that stretched me financially for a bit.

Lesson learned…

Other shit has happened this week in which I got beat up for helping out a friend. I really don’t get it. I’m just trying to help people out like I always try to do. Now my best friend isn’t talking with me…

Again, lesson learned…

Anyway, I said FUCK IT this morning and went on a ME shopping spree! Okay, it wasn’t really a shopping spree. I went to Dick’s and bought myself some shoes.

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The last time I bought shoes for myself was some five years ago when I first started going to the gym. I’ve been wearing those same damn shoes to the gym the past six weeks and they’re all blown out and shit! Oh yeah, I also paid $18 for three pairs of Nike Dri-FIT socks, because everyone should have happy feet!

I’ve been wondering a lot lately why I help people when it always seems to bite me in the ass. I give ’til it hurts and people get pissed at me for it…

Oh well…I’ll just let Tesla take it from here. Couldn’t find a live version of this song so there’s no video. Beautiful song, though.

 
I’m always here with open arms and an open door
Sometimes I find that it’s myself crumblin’ to the floor
Life’s full of challenges that I just can’t seem to ignore
Can’t see around the corner, tell me what’s in store
 
Honestly, don’t ask me why I care
Cause it’s a jungle out there
Honestly, I’m just a simple man
Doing the best that I can
Honestly
 
I always try to help everyone but me
I never seem to find the time I need to breathe
I try to climb the mountain no matter how high it seems
I’m like an open book; I just let my heart bleed
 
Honestly, don’t ask me why I care
Cause it’s a jungle out there
Honestly, I’m just a simple man
Doing the best that I can
Honestly, I just feel the pain
Something I can’t explain
Honestly, I’m just a simple man
Doing the best that I can
Honestly
 
You gotta let go cause nobody knows
The answers are so hard to find
With nothing to lose, it’s easy to choose
To keep holding on, keep holding on
 
Honestly, don’t ask me why I care
Cause it’s a jungle out there
Honestly, I’m just a simple man
Doing the best that I can
Honestly, I just feel the pain
Something I can’t explain
Honestly, I’m just a simple man
Doing the best that I can
Honestly

The Pussification of America ~ OMG, GMOs are in my food! Death is Imminent! LOLZ!

Reaper

IMPORTANT DISCLAIMER: I’m not obligated to post links on here from any research I’ve done. Feel free to search the interwebs on your own to look into BOTH sides of this “issue.”

The thing I dislike the most about Facebook, or any social media for that matter, is people forcing their intentions or agenda on me.

Food posts really piss me off! I don’t mean pictures of bacon wrapped in bacon with a side of bacon because that’s delightful! I’m talking about people who share memes or posts claiming that everything you consume will kill you!!!

Yeah… I’ve read how bacon can kill you too!

But… If you really think there are cleaning agents in Lucky Charms or door mat ingredients in Subway’s bread, then don’t buy those products!

(Hint: you’re not smart if you believe that to be true in those words.)

Just don’t tell me and my family we shouldn’t indulge because you thought a social media post fit your agenda, without any REAL research on your part.

The anti-GMO crowd has been the worst lately!

GMO means genetically modified organism and GM Foods are, obviously, foods containing base ingredients that have been genetically modified.

Food biotechnology is nothing new. The practice was in use thousands of years ago when nobody even knew what it was. I’m not sure caveman is the proper term, but who cares; early humans would gather fruit and end up with a surplus that would just sit there in a pile. As that fruit sat and began to decompose, yeast spores in the air made their way into that pile and fermentation occurred… BOOM! ALCOHOL!

At some point, Uga Booga ate a fermented apple and got fucked up on the alcohol! That evolved into this…

… over the years, food science continued to evolve.

A silly thing called a microscope started to show up in laboratories in the late 1500s and a hundred years after it emerged, some dude named Antone van Leeuwenhoek used his to discover microorganisms that would eventually be used in food production.

Couple centuries later, in the late 1800s, some jackass named Louis Pasteur discovered that applying heat to drinks, including milk, would kill off bacteria to improve food hygiene.

I don’t understand why these idiot scientists, who obviously think their shit don’t stink, gotta mess with food and stuff!

Oh wait… they’re trying to streamline the process?

In 1946, some hack scientists figured out that deoxyribonucleic acid (or DNA for you simpletons), can transfer between organisms.

This new technology allowed scientists to begin messing around with certain plants’ DNA and their resulting fruits. One of the first genetically engineered foodstuffs was the Flavr Savr tomato some 20 years ago. Scientists identified a gene that could slow down how fast tomatoes ripen and, ultimately, bruise. Through genetic engineering, they were able to insert that gene into the tomato plant’s DNA to come up with a more durable product. This produced a tomato that could go from the vine to the table with less damage to the fruit.

There’s nothing wrong, or scary, with that!

Okay… there’s WAY too much information on this topic to stick into just one post, so I gotta go!

Stay tuned for more details including some about that “evil” company Monsanto (or JFK’s personal Vietnam chemical producer) for making plant seeds!

The Pussification of America ~ Flu Shots!

Moth aids

Health care in the United States is a multi-trillion dollar industry. TRILLION! That’s $1,000,000,000,000. Two or more times. Every Year.

Why the hell is health care so damn expensive? It’s easy to figure out.

A shit ton of sales people in the health care industry are telling you all what to buy and ya’ll buy it as fast as you can ’cause ya wanna feel better as fast as you can.

I understand if you get mangled in some horrible accident and suffer bone/cartilage/ligament/organ damage you need to be put back together by a team of specialists. If your shit gets broke, it needs to be fixed!

But doctors and other retailers like CVS and Walmart have convinced you to buy shit when ya feel fine, like flu shots!

What I really struggle with is virus and disease prevention outside the normal realm of basic hygiene. Hygiene is HUGE in not getting sick.

I’m just gonna talk about the flu for now, folks, but pretty much all of this will apply to ALL communicable viruses.

If you don’t wanna get sick from pretty much anything, don’t:

  1. Let someone sneeze or cough on you.
  2. Have sex with someone who might sneeze or cough on you, or exchange any sort of bodily fluids with that horny person.
  3. Put your fingers (or toes for you freaks) into your eyes, mouth, nose, ears or any other orifice.
  4. Lick any surfaces.
  5. Touch any surfaces that may have been licked.
  6. I could go on forever… just don’t stick it in your body if ya think it’s sick.

If ya can’t comply with those guidelines, just get a damn flu shot ’cause those things are way better for preventing infection! Right?

I don’t believe so. I’ve never had a flu shot, nor have my children, and we don’t get sick.

But your doctor tells you to get a flu shot every year right? It’s for you and your family’s health, right?

Nope…

Someone’s gotta pay for that doctor’s Porsche!

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), a FEDERAL AGENCY (under direction of that douchebag Barack Obama), recommends you get a flu shot every year.

Well, duh! Of course they do, they’re in bed with pharmaceutical companies such as GlaxoSmithKline, Sanofi Pasteur, bioCSL, MedImmune, Novartis Vaccines & Diagnostics and Protein Sciences.

As you stand in line with the rest of the sheep to get your flu shot, because the government essentially told you to, you need to think what you’re letting them inject into your body.

Lots of people nowadays pretend to be more healthy by adjusting their diets to exclude GMOs, ’cause those things are so dangerous, even though they’re not!

Those last two pharmaceutical companies I mentioned are having doctors sell you vaccines that are products of genetic engineering.

Novartis is manufacturing (remember, nobody manufactures stuff they can’t sell) a flu shot called Flucelvax which is made using dog kidney cells, instead of the old fashioned egg culture way. Where the fuck is Novartis, a Swiss $58 BILLION company getting dog kidney cells from?

You all may have had dog injected into you!

It gets better, though!

If you’re between 18-49 years old, you may have had Protein Sciences’ FluBlok injected into you. Ha ha! You essentially just had a moth shoved up your ass to “save you” from the flu!

That’s right, folks, Protein Sciences makes their flu shots with bugs! Y’all are buying those shots because you were told to!

Anyway, don’t just get a flu shot because someone tells you to, especially jackass Obama’s CDC. The CDC will scare you into getting a flu shot for your kid because they ultimately make a lot of money off of you. Obama and the CDC may seem like dumbasses, but they’re not. They’re pretty damn smart!

Especially if you buy what they’re selling…

I’m About to Take This Blog on a Wild Ride!

millennium_force

I’m about to go off… There is a lot of shit going on that is really pissing me off lately. Every time I sit down to put my thoughts together to throw ’em up on the interwebs I become quickly overwhelmed.

There’s NO WAY I can put it all into one post, because it would be way too long and, quite frankly, too boring for people nowadays who can only consume 160 characters at a time.

I’ve decided to break all this bullshit into small, easily digestible pieces and will call it the “Pussification of America” series.

My plan here is to touch on a wide range of subjects including, but not limited to:

  • Bullying
  • Education
  • Food
  • Alternative Fuels
  • Barack Fucking Hussein Obama
  • Evil Unions
  • The Medical Industry

There’s a good chance I’m GONNA piss people off but that will only be the close minded liberals Obama supporters union sheep people… I’m good with that! I research my shit; pride myself on that!

If ya wanna go toe to toe with me ya better bring some facts and/or links!

Stay tuned, folks!

Kinda Freakin’ Out about Today’s Game ~ Ravens @ Browns!

ray-rice

Nice left arm asshole… perfect weapon for knocking out women.

Man… I hate the Ravens almost as much as the Steelers. Almost. My Dad raised me to despise the Steelers, so it’s in my blood.

I started hating the Ravens in 1996 when their existence began! Yeah, Cleveland Browns owner, Art Modell, shut my beloved Browns team down in 1995 and moved them to Baltimore where they became the Ravens… Makes me ill just thinking about it.

It’s getting even easier to hate this Ravens team nowadays after RB Ray Rice beat the shit out of his fiancee as a big HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY this past February!

“But, Greg, it’s not the team’s fault Rice knocked out Janay.” Of course the team had nothing to do with her getting knocked out and dragged out of an elevator. Go HERE to read the entire timeline of events and how the Ravens organization AND the National Fucking Football League, at most, covered up a lot of this and, at the very least, turned a blind eye to it.

I haven’t chimed in yet with my thoughts about the NFL’s handling of this Ray Rice situation. Or Greg Hardy.Or Ray McDonald. Or Jonathan Dwyer. Or Adrian Peterson beating the shit outta his four year old son.

I guess now is as good a time as any to throw some thoughts out there.

For starters… WHAT THE FUCK GUYS? You don’t hit women. Period. I don’t care if you’re provoked or not. You just DON’T do that shit.

This stuff goes both ways! Women shouldn’t hit men either… provoked or not! I couldn’t care less if he’s bigger and stronger than you, you just don’t!

And Adrian Peterson, ya don’t beat your damn kids until they bleed. Period. I don’t give a shit HOW you were raised and what culture you grew up in. You’re a fuckin’ idiot. Ray Rice knocked out a 100 pound woman and that’s horrible. You beat up children you pussy and that makes you even worse.

Please don’t clump all NFL players into this group of assholes folks. Every week, 1,696 players suit up. Only a handful are idiots…

Domestic violence is not an NFL problem, it’s a problem overall throughout society.

Outside of the NFL there are laws and procedures meant to protect victims of abuse, should it get reported to the authorities.

The NFL has the difficult task of somehow balancing local laws and punishment with league punishment for domestic violence. They’ve failed miserably thus far and it’s been quite an embarrassment to say the least.

I think it’s pretty simple. Under the leagues new drug policy, a DUI arrest doesn’t trigger a league punishment, but a CONVICTION does; costs a player 2 games. I believe if a player is accused or arrested for domestic violence the league should let the authorities and the courts do their jobs. Once there’s a CONVICTION the league can then drop the hammer however they see fit.

What I hope will be an embarrassment to the Ravens today will be a pitiful loss to the Browns!

This Browns team looks like it has what it takes to win 8, maybe even 10, games this year!

The defense is fast and strong. Ravens QB, Joe Flacco, doesn’t have the mobility like Saints QB Drew Brees from last week who we rattled the shit out of! I can see us sacking him 4 times tomorrow.

Dude has a powerful arm, however, so he can burn us bad with a couple top notch receivers in Torrey Smith and Steve Smith! At least those guys aren’t 12 feet tall like Saints TE Jimmy Graham who just kicked our asses last week!

I remain a little concerned about the offense. The running game still looks great, but Baltimore has a pretty decent run D, allowing an average 89 yards in the first 2 games.

It’s Cleveland’s passing game that still has me scared. It was pretty effective last week but I’m just waiting for shit to fall apart with these tiny WRs. Yeah, big TE Jordan Cameron may play today, though I haven’t confirmed that yet, but I don’t think his shoulder is 100% so he could be a non factor.

A lot of people continue to point out that Browns QB Hoyer was a “career backup” before coming to the Browns. He was. But for three years he played behind Patriots QB Tom Brady. I think he learned a lot there and I believe that’s why he seems so calm under pressure.

He’s been playing pretty well ~ let’s hope that continues in a little bit!

GO BROWNS!

Public Humiliation Diet ~ Round 2, Day 22! WTF??

IMG_20140913_134000_579

Well so much for the no smoking thing! I failed at that rather quickly. Made it 3 days and then failed miserably! I’m gonna try again here soon, just gotta stick to it. I think instead of just quitting altogether, I’m gonna wean myself off over a week or two.

See, when I stopped smoking I became incredibly hungry, all the fucking time. I’d be snacking constantly at work: fishy crackers, pretzels or peanuts… all freakin’ day!

I refuse to use “stop smoking aids” like nicotine gum or patches, ’cause the damn nicotine remains in your system throughout the process. Last time I quit somewhat successfully (for an entire year!), I relied merely on Stride gum to snuff out the cravings. That will be the plan next time around! Soon folks!

OH! Like I said I was gonna do, I renewed my gym membership so I could go up there with my oldest daughter, Alexis, and start working out! Been there 5 times since last Saturday and I fuckin’ love it! We’ve got three specific workouts we do. Biceps/back, shoulders/legs and triceps/chest! That’s our minimum for 3 days a week. Alexis made me do some ab and oblique work and holy shit am I weak in the midsection! I told her that’s obviously where I need the most help! I don’t believe I’ve seen my abs since I was 13. Be nice to eventually see them after all these years!

I know… ya ain’t gonna see your abs unless ya do a shit ton of cardio. I’m working on that, too, folks! I’ve been on that damn treadmill every day since we last spoke; anywhere from 20 to 40 minutes a day!

Cardio is brutally boring! Just stare at the wall or the treadmill display while working out! I guess I could get outside and run so there’s some scenery, but fuck that! I spent $1300 on a treadmill and I’m gonna get my money’s worth out of it! I picked up a little 19″ TV and hung it up on the wall in front of the treadmill today! BOOM: Scenery! I can now go for hours on that thing while watching TV!

As far as weight loss goes, I’ve gone backwards folks! Last week I weighed in at 202 pounds and was hoping to be under the 200 mark this week but NOPE!

After a week and a half of cardio, weightlifting, work, chicken breasts, protein shakes and turkey sandwiches on 12 grain bread I weighed in at 206 pounds this morning. I GAINED 4 pounds while hoping to lose. What the fuck? There’s no way I gained that much muscle after only 5 trips to the gym!

Whatever! I’m gonna keep doing what I’ve been doing and I have to imagine the weight will come off eventually!

Related Posts:

Day 12 ~ 202 Lbs.
Reboot ~ 210 Lbs.
Day 298 ~ 173 Lbs. Mission Accomplished!
Day 235 ~ 182 Lbs.
Day 192 ~ 187 Lbs.
Day 162 ~ 193 Lbs
Day 143 ~ 197 Lbs.
Day 125 ~ 200 Lbs. WOO HOO!
Day 113 ~ 204 Lbs.
Day 25 ~ 220 Lbs. via pizza rolls…
Day 5 ~ 225.4 Lbs. The nutrition plan…
Day 3 ~ 231.8 Lbs. WTF??
Day One ~ And so it begins ~ 231 Lbs.

Public Humiliation Diet ~ Round 2, Day 12!

quaker

Damn it’s hard to get on that treadmill, especially after it starts going! Honestly, I’ve only been on it 3 times since I started this “get in shape” thing and I’m up to a pretty brisk walk; uphill, however!

My oldest daughter is inspiring me quite a bit. See, she plays rugby and it’s conditioning time for her to get ready for the season. One night, she got on the treadmill and ran what appeared to be a pretty effortless 10 minute mile. I said, “I’m gonna try that tomorrow!” Her response? “Good luck with that…”

The following night, she upped the ante to an 8 1/2 minute mile.

I prolly sound like a pussy, but I haven’t attempted to run a mile yet. I’m still comfortable cranking up the incline and walking that shit. I’ll incline it between 8-10% and play with the speed here and there. Ha! Down to the 17-18 minute range the last couple times.

My biggest problem, and the reason my kid says, “Good luck with that,” is that I smoke and there’s no way I’m gonna make any real cardio progress while continuing to do so. I smoked my last cigarette, for the time being at least, at 11:16 am on September 2nd. As I’m writing this, I’ve been 36 hours smoke free and I’m going freakin’ crazy. That’s halfway, though, folks! If I can make it to lunchtime tomorrow, I’ll have passed the 72 hour barrier, meaning all the nicotine will be out of my system and the rest of it will be breaking the mental habit!

Keep your fingers crossed!

My kid also goes to the local gym, by herself, to lift weights. She has inspired me to renew my membership so we can work out together. I think she half asses her workouts and needs a bit more guidance to target muscle groups correctly. I know how to do this, so we’ll help each other out!

From a food standpoint, I’ve just been eating smaller portions right now. I need to hit the store to pick up some stuff to get the protein train rolling; prolly lots of chicken breasts!

I’ve been eating a lot of oatmeal, too, just because it’s low in calories, high in carbs for energy and quite filling. Gotta pick up some fruits to add to it so it doesn’t taste like wallpaper glue!

That’s about it for now…

This morning’s weigh in? 202 pounds.

I’m pretty impressed with that since this past Sunday I ate a ton of food at the fantasy football draft party! There was my award winning chili, beer, stuffed hot peppers, homemade pizza, beer, wings, some kind of healthy looking shish kabobs, beer, buffalo chicken dip, beer and meatloaf.

Needless to say, I pooped a lot Monday.

Related Posts:

Reboot ~ 210 Lbs.
Day 298 ~ 173 Lbs. Mission Accomplished!
Day 235 ~ 182 Lbs.
Day 192 ~ 187 Lbs.
Day 162 ~ 193 Lbs
Day 143 ~ 197 Lbs.
Day 125 ~ 200 Lbs. WOO HOO!
Day 113 ~ 204 Lbs.
Day 25 ~ 220 Lbs. via pizza rolls…
Day 5 ~ 225.4 Lbs. The nutrition plan…
Day 3 ~ 231.8 Lbs. WTF??
Day One ~ And so it begins ~ 231 Lbs.

Public Humiliation Diet ~ Round 2!

Chicken Fries

Son of a bitch… here we go again, folks! The fatty is back after falling off the wagon! I knew I was gaining weight for months but I just got lazy. Yeah, even throughout the summer months with so much stuff going on with the kids and all the running around, I managed to gain 37 freakin’ pounds since I completed the first round of dieting.. chronicled below.

This is merely a minor setback; happens to a lot of people. After workin’ kinda hard to lose 58 pounds, I just stopped dieting. Stopped exercising.

The last straw this time was the button popping off a couple pairs of shorts. I had to sew them back on. I despise sewing! I’m not gonna sew any more!

No more Burger King Chicken Fries, or any other fast food for that matter! Water will replace pop, even diet pop! Beer? Hmmmm…. The NFL season starts in 12 days, so who knows…

I know I’m not gonna work kinda hard this time to get down to around 175. That shit took like 10 months. I want to hit that goal by Christmas, so that means 4 months! Gonna have to bust my ass!

This morning I removed all the laundry from the ol’ treadmill, dusted it off, gave it a quick tuneup and fired it up. I managed to walk a mile, at an 8% incline in 20 minutes before I began to feel heart failure setting in. Embarrassing, I know! I had to start somewhere, though!

So here goes! Current fatty status: 210 sweaty pounds!

Related Posts:

Day 298 ~ 173 Lbs. Mission Accomplished!
Day 235 ~ 182 Lbs.
Day 192 ~ 187 Lbs.
Day 162 ~ 193 Lbs
Day 143 ~ 197 Lbs.
Day 125 ~ 200 Lbs. WOO HOO!
Day 113 ~ 204 Lbs.
Day 25 ~ 220 Lbs. via pizza rolls…
Day 5 ~ 225.4 Lbs. The nutrition plan…
Day 3 ~ 231.8 Lbs. WTF??
Day One ~ And so it begins ~ 231 Lbs.

Why is Everyone Dumping Buckets of Ice Water on their Heads?

Steve Gleason

Steve Gleason

I’m sure, by now, you’ve seen the videos of various people, celebrities and athletes dousing themselves in ice water. Believe it or not, there are people that think these are merely cute viral videos of people challenging others to get chilly after soaking themselves.

That’s not what it’s about.

The Ice Bucket Challenge has gone viral to raise awareness for amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS), more commonly known as Lou Gehrig’s disease, which is a terminal motor neurone disease. It is a rare disease but, still, every 90 minutes someone dies from it.

It’s a horrifying disease. In short, the ability of the brain to send signals to the muscles is compromised… resulting in muscle death. The disease takes it’s victim between 2-5 years post diagnosis.

The gentleman pictured above is Steve Gleason. He’s a former safety of the New Orleans Saints, well known for this play in 2006…

… five years after that play, Gleason was diagnosed with ALS.

The last few years, I’ve been following Gleason (@TeamGleason), former Saints & Browns LB Scott Fujita (@sfujita55) and current Saints QB Drew Brees (@drewbrees) as they tried so hard to raise awareness and money for AlS research. It really appeared to be a grassroots campaign, gaining little traction.

Some strides to raise awareness were made when ESPN aired this segment last year featuring Gleason and the members of Pearl Jam.

… touching, to say the least.

Well here’s some great news communicated by the ALS Association today: From July 29th to August 17th last year, $1.7 million was donated. This year, thanks to the Ice Bucket Challenge, $13.3 million has been donated; that includes 259,000 NEW donors!

Thankfully, it’s only a minority who believe all these videos are just a cute fad to get cold and wet and challenge your friends to do the same, without knowing why.

Hopefully, the influx of donations this year goes to the right places to maybe figure this evil disease out.

One last video… big, tough NFL players and coaches explaining the progression of this disease, with Gleason at the end. Chilling…

Please go to Steve Gleason’s website HERE or the ALS Association link above to donate.

Driving is a Privilege, Not a Right…

Old Lady Driving

…This is true.

When you’re sixteen you have to pass tests, written and on the road, to receive your license.

These tests are to ensure that you know what the hell you’re doing before cruising around town in 2+ tons of potentially dangerous hardware. It’s not just for the “green” driver’s safety, but for everyone else on the road.

If you’re out drinkin’ and drivin’ or using drugs and doing the same and your driving seems impaired, you’re gettin’ pulled over and your ass gets kicked. Your driving privileges get revoked until you satisfy the requirements of your license suspension. That’s fair.

What if you’re out driving and you’re swerving, driving too slow and not obeying traffic signals… but not under the influence of alcohol or drugs? What if you’re just too damn old to be safely operating a motor vehicle? I believe you should be pulled over and cited for erratic driving… then you should take the driving tests again to retain your license. I know that sounds mean, but…

…While on the way home from work today, I got stuck behind this car that was going maybe 20 in a 35 MPH zone. I kinda hung back because this car went a bit left of center a couple times, causing 4 cars in the opposing lane to slow down or get the hell outta the way to avoid a head on collision. After we got stuck at a red light, the car just sat there several seconds when the light turned green and then proceeded to go straight… out of the turning lane, damn near causing an accident with the car across the way that was attempting a left hand turn.

The driver of that dangerous, potentially life threatening, car? FIVE near misses?

A little old lady, I’m figurin’ somewhere between 60 and 70 years old.

Here are behaviors typically exhibited by some drivers who are becoming “long in the tooth”:

  •  Decline in visual functions (rapid tracking of a moving target) ~ .02
  • Decline in ability to perform two tasks at the same time (divided attention)
  • Reduced coordination ~ .05
  • Difficulty steering
  • Reduced Response to emergency driving situations
  • Lack of concentration ~ .08
  • Short term memory loss
  • Speed control
  • Impaired perception
  • Reduced ability to maintain lane position and brake appropriately ~ .1
  • Substantial impairment in vehicle control, attention to driving task, and in necessary visual and auditory information processing ~.15

Oh SNAP! Those bullets represent the progression of blood alcohol concentration (BAC) and it’s predictable effects on driving straight from the Centers for Disease Control.

The corresponding numbers are BAC% ranging from 1 to 4 drinks in an hour for most men and women.

You’r totally lying if you say you read that list and didn’t recall seeing an old person behind the wheel suffering from one, and more commonly several, of those symptoms.

Just because Granny or Paps has been driving for 50-60 years shouldn’t give them an automatic free pass or an undisputed right to drive!

Impaired driving is dangerous, regardless of whether it’t youth, lack of youth or alcohol and/or drug related.