Tag Archives: Jessica Alba

Sexy Saturday ~ Hung Over Edition!

The coffee isn’t quite working so I’m gonna try a Monster. Not anything from the Rehab series… I’m going full strength Monster Energy Drink.

Monster

Now THAT’S better!

Last night I did that thing that happens every once in a while… I said to myself, “Lets go up to the bar for one, maybe two drinks and just chill…” Myself said, “Sure, sounds like a plan!”

I get there and some of my friends are there, so this happens…

 

… well not that crazy, but just enough to put me in a bit of a haze today.

I don’t really feel like coming up with a theme today that requires me to search for pictures, so I’m gonna recycle some. Let’s take a look at the top 10 sexy searches on For Shiggles so far this year…

Coming in at number 10 we have Skylar Grey…

Skylar Grey WOW

Skylar Grey Back Tatoo

I featured Skylar on here as a more obscure artist about a year and a half ago and she’s coming along nicely and selling lots of records!

9. Jessica Albs’s ass…

Jessica Alba Ass

Always a classic!

8. Jillian Michaels…

Jillian Michaels Bikini

She works out a lot!

7. Jessica Simpson? Yep…

And “cameltoe” is included in the search term…

6. Jessi M’bengue…

Jessi M'Bengue Tits

… from Robin Thicke’s Blurred Lines video.

5. Hannah Davis…

Hannah Davis Beach Bikini

The DirecTV Genie!

4. Tiger Woods’ Lindsey Vonn’s Ass…

Lindsey Vonn Bikini

I never put Lindsey’s ass on here and I don’t feel like searching for a picture of it…

3. Heather Kozar…

Heather Kozar

Wow! That’s ex-Cleveland Browns QB Tim Couch’s wife!

2. Samantha Hoopes…

op72-73301

That’s the picture I featured on here… from Sports Illustrated’s Swimsuit Edition. That’s paint, by the way!

And the number one sexy search on For Shiggles this year?

 Jessica Biel’s Ass…

Jessica Biel Ass WOW

Jessica Biel

Jessica Biel Pool

Even though her ass is the most searched for on here…

Jessica Biel sex

…THAT is the most clicked on Jessica Biel image…

Looks like “Jessicas” are winning, with three in the top 10!

Sexy Saturday ~ Dummies, Snobs and Hypocrites!

I had a brief email conversation with my friend Diane (who is a big Channing Tatum fan) earlier this week about celebrities. It went sort of like this:

ME: Oh hey! Your boy Channing Tatum is People Magazine’s “Sexiest Man Alive”

DIANE: He beat you out???  Dammit!  My vote didn’t count!

ME: Ha ha! Seriously, I read this Hollywood blog and he seems pretty dumb!

DIANE: Oh that’s too bad, so if I ever get a chance to meet him, I will have to plan on doing something other than having a conversation with him!!!!  HAHAHAHA,  I crack myself up!

ME: Yeah… no one from Hollywood is worth the conversation!

DIANE: Like your girl Jennifer Swift!

ME: Exactly like Jennifer Swift!

So there ya have it… I would do Jennifer and Diane would do Channing! That’s how most conversations end when talking about these “big stars” because most of ’em are nitwits!

Here are some examples:

Rihanna…

That looks like it would be a bitch to take off…

That’s much better… but how about this angle?

Mmmmm… SEXY! But what does Rihanna think about being called a sex symbol?

“It’s definitely flattering, but also uncomfortable. That’s not a priority on my list – being a sex symbol or being overly sexy. I’m just a normal woman. I don’t really focus on being a sex symbol.”

OH REALLY? Ya fooled me there! Hypocrite-ella ella ella!

Here’s former “Lost” star, Evangeline Lilly…

Here’s a nice thought from Evangeline:

I used to cry myself to sleep wishing I was ugly because of the way men leered at and disrespected me.

You will be leered at for putting yourself out there like that! She falls under the snob category!

Christina Hendricks of “Mad Men” somehow had her cell phone “hacked” and the following pictures were “leaked.”

Ooh… and a topless one…

Well… Christina is a flip-flopping Hollywood snob. Why?

Not too long ago, Health.com asked her a question about being a role model for women who aren’t size zeroes, to which she replied:

It’s such a compliment, because of all those times I had agents who were, like, “You have to lose some weight,” and all of a sudden, people are celebrating it. It’s like: Oh, thank you! Thank you for letting me be me.

Well… She’s since changed her mind. In a more recent interview she was asked, “You have been an inspiration as a full-figured woman, what is the most inspiring story that you can remember?” Her reply?

I think calling me full-figured is just rude.

I still like your boobs, Christina, but you have a terrible attitude. Suck it fatty!

Heck, even Scarlett Johansson is a little snobby. I never expected that from her…

Scarlett says:

I look forward to growing in the industry and aging. I’m at a little bit of a funny age where I get that ‘sexiest woman’ thing, and it feels like a label for right now.

HA! ‘Sexiest woman thing.’ What a silly label…

Or how about Jessica Alba?

What does Jess think about being a sex symbol?

This whole sex goddess thing? Half the time I don’t even know what that means.

I don’t put myself out there to get that kind of attention. When I do, it’s flattering, but it’s not what I set out to do. I just want to be in movies and I really don’t see myself like this.

OKAY! She didn’t “put herself out there” in the top picture… that was me sneaking up on her at the beach. The other two pictures are from photo shoots so, yes Jess, you DO put yourself out there for that kind of attention!

Here comes another Jessica… and another disappointment! Jessica Biel…

I’ve always been a big fan of Jess for some reason…

NOW I REMEMBER!! Did you guys know we dated briefly? We did… and she recorded us together once…

I was so pissed!! I hope she doesn’t sell the entire video to Vivid or something, I don’t need a sex tape out there!

But Jess had a terrible attitude too… She claims it’s hard to find work in Hollywood because of her incredibly hot body and beautiful face. She doesn’t even get to audition, apparently.. In her own words:

It really is a problem. I just want an opportunity. If you don’t like the audition, then don’t hire me! But if you don’t want to even see me — that’s hurtful.

Oh so hurtful!!

Anyway… These are for you, Diane, and the rest of the ladies out there and the men who like men!

Enjoy the rest of your weekend, folks!

Hug your children and love them every day

 

Politicians are All Asses ~ Just Like Today’s Edition of Sexy Saturday

All of the political commercials are driving me crazy. I can’t make it through 30 minutes of football without seeing 17 minutes of Obama’s ass. Biden is a bumbling ass! Obama distorts the truth; so does Romney.

YOUR GOAL should be to do your own research to determine that Romney/Ryan has better solutions for this country! WOO HOO! Take that libs!

Now on to some asses that are worth my time!

YAY Second Amendment!!

A post featuring female buttocks wouldn’t be complete without some jiggly Jessica Biel action..

… or a still shot!

Some men prefer an enormous ass, such as this one provided by Kim Kardashian…

The asshole on the left is Kanye West!

Perhaps this is a better picture of Kim..

Nah… too much! Besides, her sister Kourtney is WAY hotter!

I’ve always been a fan of Olivia Wilde; since I discovered her on that TV show, House…

…and we only went out a few times before she started to show her political side. Hoo boy is she a liberal nutjob! She is like the total opposite of Rush Limbaugh. In every single way! I had to dump her. Sorry Liv!

I know this is supposed to be an ass only post, but I couldn’t not post this next picture of Olivia. I guess I’m sort of like Obama in that I don’t always do what I say. ZING!

Her hotness cannot be denied! She just needs to not talk!

Here’s a shot of my neighbor that I’m giving swimming lessons to.

My other neighbor.. This is not voyeurism; she told me to take this picture. I was about 2 seconds to fast!

Oh… I almost forgot about Jessica Alba…

She does NOT know I took this pic, so please don’t tell her.

Now there is one ass that stands out above all others. It looks great in a dress, a bikini, or jeans and even sweatpants! And it’s not merely an ass that is nice to look at. It’s part of what most men would call the “total package.” A fantastic Mom, a great friend and a beautiful woman; inside and out! I have no pictures of her ass, however. This is the best I can do!

And for the ladies and men who like men? Some would describe this man as an ass. He’s actually a god! A God of Thunder!

As hard as I looked, I couldn’t find pictures of his ass. I’m not so sure I want to see that anyway!

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you today’s birthday boy, Chaim Weitz of KISS!

Actually, he’s more commonly known as Gene Simmons… this guy!

 

Happy 63rd Birthday, man! See you at Blossom in 18 days!!

I’ll leave you with an amusing KISS video.. (You Make Me) Rock Hard… It starts off with some women’s asses mixed in with Paul Stanley’s ass. Sometimes it’s hard to tell the difference!

The girls and I are off to my company picnic! Enjoy the rest of your weekend, folks!

Hug your children and love them every day

 

Sexy Saturday ~ POV Edition… Mostly!

Lots of female celebrities like to take photos of their boobs and crotches while laying on the beach… or wherever else they might be. Most of these shots are from their point of view (POV). Deep breath… and here we go…

Heidi Klum…

Jennifer Swift…

Some girl I met near Cedar Point…

ON A BOAT!

Adrianne Curry…

LeAnn Rimes…

Sorry… I held back as long as I could, but I’m an ass guy. Here’s a better angle of LeAnn…

LeAnn Rimes playing bocce ball in my back yard.

…and Adrianne Curry…

I did not take this picture… She did it herself!

There is a better ass out there, so I’ve been told! Butt even if I had a picture of it I wouldn’t share it with y’all… instead I offer Jessica Alba…

I took this before she had two kids.

Same ass after two kids…

And my second favorite ass ever… Jessica Biel….

And for my female readers and gay men… Joel Goodsen (aka Tom Cruise) of Risky Business…

… or Maverick, Goose, Ice and Slider (aka Tom Cruise, Anthony Edwards, Val Kilmer and Rick Rossovich) of Top Gun!

Oh man, I watched that video and realized how much I missed the F-14 since it’s been retired from the Navy’s arsenal. More on the United States’ air superiority to come…

Hug your children and love them every day