Tag Archives: Writing

My Blog is Too Sexy

As of right now, I have 100,505 views of this little blog ~ in just under ten months. Compared to real blogs, I’m certain that’s not a lot of traffic. However, it’s a lot of traffic to me!

It appears as though I’ve written my blog into a corner… But what a sexy corner it is! See, a whopping 80% of my “readers” arrive here after searching for pictures on Google. What, or who, are they searching for, you ask? Here are the top ten search terms people typed in to Google and found forshiggles (I attached the corresponding pics):

Kate Upton

Sofia Vergara

Adam Levine

Kim Kardashian

It’s funny… This is the only picture I’ve put up of Kim. I personally think her ass is gross; but it comes in at number four of all time…

Jessica Biel ass

Courtney Force

On the right….C’mon now! she’s a race car driver!

Jennie Finch

Erika Eleniak

Kate Upton boobs

Heather Kozar

Can you believe, for all the yapping I do about Danica Patrick, she comes in at number eighteen? Shocking!

It’s obvious that very few people come here for my writing. I’m an okay writer, I guess. Perhaps I need to diversify a bit more.

I am grateful that a lot of people found this blog by searching Hurler’s Syndrome. They then moved on to my friend’s site that details the struggles his family endures  while his twin boys battle this terrible genetic disorder. Did they donate money? I dunno… I sure hope someone did!

I also got a lot of traffic from people searching for the names of the four Brunswick children killed in the horrible accident on June 3rd of this year. I asked for help. A lot of people clicked over to the site that, at the time, was selling t-shirts to raise money for the families. Did they buy a shirt, or donate, to help out. Again, I dunno… I can only hope.

It’s 5:00 am and I need to get some sleep. It’s sort of funny, some of the big time bloggers I read talk about writing while in their underwear. This is the first time I’ve done it and, ya know what, it’s quite wonderful! I should do it more often!

Always remember…. Hug your children and love them every day

The Most Important Things are the Hardest to Say

The most important things are the hardest to say.

They are the things you get ashamed of, because words diminish them — words shrink things that seemed limitless when they were in your head to no more than living size when they’re brought out.

But it’s more than that, isn’t it?

The most important things lie too close to wherever your secret heart is buried, like landmarks to a treasure your enemies would love to steal away.

And you may make revelations that cost you dearly only to have people look at you in a funny way, not understanding what you’ve said at all, or why you thought it was so important that you almost cried while you were saying it.

That’s the worst, I think.

When the secret stays locked within not for want of a tellar but for want of an understanding ear.

~Stephen King, from Different Seasons

Gosh I wish I could write like this….

Perhaps if I weren’t a software salesman who works hard to provide for his children…

Perhaps if I weren’t an active, loving parent…

Perhaps if I didn’t drink Pabst Blue Ribbon (Bud Light, actually, but you don’t know me) while watching cars go around in a circle…

Perhaps then I could lift this blog out of “snore pie” status and really begin to shine.

Until then.. you wanna dance? Let’s do it! I’ll even let you bring all of your personalities, made up profiles and fake dating site pictures to the fight! Me against twelve? I like my odds!

I’ll let my boys from Limp Bizkit say the rest… you’re a FAKE!