Driving is a Privilege, Not a Right…

…This is true.

When you’re sixteen you have to pass tests, written and on the road, to receive your license.

These tests are to ensure that you know what the hell you’re doing before cruising around town in 2+ tons of potentially dangerous hardware. It’s not just for the “green” driver’s safety, but for everyone else on the road.

If you’re out drinkin’ and drivin’ or using drugs and doing the same and your driving seems impaired, you’re gettin’ pulled over and your ass gets kicked. Your driving privileges get revoked until you satisfy the requirements of your license suspension. That’s fair.

What if you’re out driving and you’re swerving, driving too slow and not obeying traffic signals… but not under the influence of alcohol or drugs? What if you’re just too damn old to be safely operating a motor vehicle? I believe you should be pulled over and cited for erratic driving… then you should take the driving tests again to retain your license. I know that sounds mean, but…

…While on the way home from work today, I got stuck behind this car that was going maybe 20 in a 35 MPH zone. I kinda hung back because this car went a bit left of center a couple times, causing 4 cars in the opposing lane to slow down or get the hell outta the way to avoid a head on collision. After we got stuck at a red light, the car just sat there several seconds when the light turned green and then proceeded to go straight… out of the turning lane, damn near causing an accident with the car across the way that was attempting a left hand turn.

The driver of that dangerous, potentially life threatening, car? FIVE near misses?

A little old lady, I’m figurin’ somewhere between 60 and 70 years old.

Here are behaviors typically exhibited by some drivers who are becoming “long in the tooth”:

•  Decline in visual functions (rapid tracking of a moving target) ~ .02
• Decline in ability to perform two tasks at the same time (divided attention)
• Reduced coordination ~ .05
• Difficulty steering
• Reduced Response to emergency driving situations
• Lack of concentration ~ .08
• Short term memory loss
• Speed control
• Impaired perception
• Reduced ability to maintain lane position and brake appropriately ~ .1
• Substantial impairment in vehicle control, attention to driving task, and in necessary visual and auditory information processing ~.15

Oh SNAP! Those bullets represent the progression of blood alcohol concentration (BAC) and it’s predictable effects on driving straight from the Centers for Disease Control.

The corresponding numbers are BAC% ranging from 1 to 4 drinks in an hour for most men and women.

You’r totally lying if you say you read that list and didn’t recall seeing an old person behind the wheel suffering from one, and more commonly several, of those symptoms.

Just because Granny or Paps has been driving for 50-60 years shouldn’t give them an automatic free pass or an undisputed right to drive!

Impaired driving is dangerous, regardless of whether it’t youth, lack of youth or alcohol and/or drug related.

Damn… A Lot has Changed in a Year!

I wrote this last August 11th, prior to the Browns first preseason game of 2013. Hoo boy a LOT has changed!

What I thought was a decent coaching staff… is gone.

Who I thought sucked, but stuck with anyway (Brandon Fucking Weeden)… is gone.

RB Trent Richardson sucked, then was traded to the Colts… and still sucks!

Now a whole new season is upon us, and as is true every year before the season actually starts, I’m incredibly excited about this team!

Notably:

The defense, which was pretty tough last year. It only got tougher with the addition of S Donte Whitner, LB Karlos Dansby and 1st round pick CB Justin Gilbert.

The offense, with the return of QB1 Brian Hoyer, the addition of RBs Ben Tate and Terrance West. Also, we picked up tiny receiver Andrew Hawkins, Austin Miles, Nate Burleson to round out the receiving corps!

Lots of good news coming out of training camp concerning all of the above mentioned players.

Speaking of training camp, I usually make it there at least once a year. Not this year. Nope!

Camp is packed because 98% of Browns fans are stupid and the’re filling up the joint to see Johnny Fucking Snort Cocaine Off A Stripper’s Ass Football – Manziel.

Really? His two biggest games for Texas A&M last year comprised of 918 passing yards for 9 TDs (and 4 picks)… those were losses to Alabama and Auburn.

Kelly Holcomb 2.0 people?

The kid is an epic douchebag, also. He’s got a tattoo on his wrist that is a reference to a crappy Canadian “rapper” named Drake?

I never heard of that dude ’til I heard that Manziel idolizes him.

For a while there, I defended all the partying Manziel did after the Browns drafted him at number 22 back in May (Same pick position as Brady Quinn and Brandon Fucking Weeden in ’07 and ’12 respectively, by the way). I think his press conferences sucked me in and sold me. Statements like, “I’m 21… living my NFL dream… doing nothing illegal…” sorta resonated with me. But no. That’s not how it works in the NFL.

There are only 32 guys, in the WORLD, who will be able to start in an NFL game with the season starting in only 37 days. Johnny Manziel had exactly 122 days from the time the Browns drafted him, ’til he could potentially start in week one.

From my basic calculations, Manziel spent 2 months, around half his time to get ready to be a potential franchise QB, partying his ass off.

That’s just stupid!

If I were 20 years younger, an inch taller to be 5’11” like that midget Manziel and the CLEVELAND BROWNS drafted ME, I’d put all my time and effort into winning the QB job… not hanging out with some shitty ass rapper and acting like my shit don’t stink.

Let’s not forget who reportedly pushed the Browns into picking up this piece of crap…

… that’s right, rootin’ tootin’ Pilot/Flying J ripoff artist and Browns owner Jimmy Haslam!

At least Manziel is selling jerseys and season tickets for the Browns – and not just Drake CDs!

I’ve got a feeling this hype will be short lived…

‘Lil Bit of Women Racin’ Cars News!

Oh hey folks! I’m still alive… been writing a lot just haven’t published anything recently, or at the frequency you were used too!

If you’re a regular reader of For Shiggles, you prolly realized that this became more of a platform to bash NASCAR “driver” Danica Patrick than anything else.

I probably shouldn’t do that any more because I’m starting to feel bad for her. She is horrible! She’s Kyle Petty horrible! Wait… no. Kyle Petty won NASCAR races; 8 out of 829 tries to be exact. Round up a bit and that’s a 1% win rate.

Dear Danica’s won 0 out of 66 tries in NASCAR’s premier series. Problem with math is that ya can’t round up from 0.00000 to make the numbers look pretty.

Danica is like the fat kid on your daughter’s softball team who has no right attempting to play at a high level, but does so because her Dad’s the coach.

I take that back. Danica is, at face value, a slightly above average looking woman with a somewhat decent ass and perky tits who can drive a race car better than a good portion of the world’s population… but not the NASCAR population.

In my opinion her primary sponsor, GoDaddy.com, needs to cut their marketing losses from the last three years and move on to a driver who can produce… even marginally. There’s not much better than a NASCAR driver in Victory Lane, or one who can consistently finish in the top five or even top ten!

I have an extensive background in sales, and can sell the best product with ease. When marketing, however, misallocates their funds, that is truly money wasted, and I imagine GoDaddy will be reeling from this for years to come.

Enough about shitty drivers and marketing money thrown down the drain…

NHRA drag racing phenom, Courtney Force, won her fifth career race yesterday since the beginning of the 2012 season. Check it out (She’s in the left lane):

She’s now won 5 of 63 events or an 8% win rate and, yet, Ford and Castrol Oil (major sponsors of parent company John Force Racing) are leaving after this season.

That’s a bunch of bullshit!

Courtney still has a chance to win the championship this year and, yet, her sponsors are leaving while GoDaddy stands by their shitty “driver.”

Kinda makes me sick….