Sexy Saturday ~ Body Paint Edition!

Dear God just loogit that ass! That’s Emily Ratajkowski!

In case you weren’t aware, Sports Illustrated’s 50th Swimsuit Edition just came out… For the past several years they’ve featured some of the models with “swimwear” painted on them… yes… painted!

They actually look pretty realistic! Here are a few more of Emily!

… I sure do enjoy reading boobs Sports Illustrated!

I actually bounced my face off my monitor trying to get a good look at that one!

Emily was one of four models this year to get paint slathered all over them…

Here’s Hannah Ferguson….

YAY nipples… I doubt they painted nipples on… that would be sorta redundant, no?

Or here’s Lauren Mellor…

I would LOVE to meet the artists who painted this stuff on these women. My first question would be, “How the HELL did you maintain a steady hand?”

Then, “How do ya paint Samantha Hoopes’ twat without losing your concentration…?”

I know I would!

Or Cris Urena’s ass…

I looked around on SI’s website to find out who does this paintin’… and it’s some old lady, go figure! I couldn’t find her name anywhere to give her credit.

Now I freakin’ hate painting. After three years at this townhouse, I’ve only gotten 75% of it painted!

But THIS sort of painting could probably hold my interest… so I figured I’d give it a shot…

That is a full body smiley face… Can ya see it? I like the smiley face theme, so check this one out…

That is a precision smiley top I painted there! Whew… this is hard work… So for the last one I just free styled!

Emily Ratajkowski photographed by Greg in Brunswick, OH ~ All Rights Reserved

I was hoping to submit a picture here for the ladies and men who like men but was horrified by the results when I Googled “body painted men.”

So here is Dwayne Johnson… with the more permanent type of ink…

Enjoy the rest of your weekend folks!

Most photos courtesy of Sports Illustrated.

Hi-fi Friday… In which I Let Meat Loaf Do The Talking….

It’s been a rough week or so on so many levels I don’t even know where to start… so I’m gonna hand this off to my dude, Meat Loaf, who knows how to say it just right…

~ Life Is A Lemon (And I Want My Money Back) ~

And the corresponding lyrics….

It’s all or nothing

And nothing’s all I ever get

Ev’ry time I turn it on, I burn it up and burn it out

It’s always something

There’s always something going wrong

That’s the only guarantee, that’s what this is all about

It’s a never ending attack

Ev’rything’s a lie and that’s a fact

Life is a lemon and I want my money back

And all the morons

And all the stooges with their coins

They’re the ones who make the rules, it’s not a game it’s just a rout

There’s desperation

There’s desperation in the air

It leaves a stain on all your clothes and no detergent gets it out

And we’re always slipping through the cracks

Then the movie’s over, fade to black

Life is a lemon and I want my money back

I want my money back

I want my money back

What about love?

It’s defective! It’s always breaking in half

What about sex?

It’s defective! It’s never built to really last

What about your family?

It’s defective! All the batteries are shot

What about your friends?

It’s defective! All the parts are out of stock

What about hope?

It’s defective! It’s corroded and decayed

What about faith?

It’s defective! It’s tattered and it’s frayed

What about you gods?

They’re defective! They forgot the warranty

What about your town?

It’s defective! It’s a dead-end street to me

What about your school?

It’s defective! It’s a pack of useless lies

What about your work?

It’s defective! It’s a crock and then you die

What about your childhood?

It’s defective! It’s dead and buried in the past

What about your future?

It’s defective! And you can shove it up your ass

Oh, I want my money back

I want my money back

It’s all or nothing

And nothing’s all I ever get

Ev’ry time I turn it on, I burn it up and burn it out

It’s a never ending attack

Ev’rything’s a lie and that’s a fact

Life is a lemon and I want my money back

And we’re always slipping through the cracks

Then the movie’s over, fade to black

Life is a lemon and I want my money back

I want my money back

I want my money back

I’m Pretty Sure I Don’t Wanna Piss Skylar Grey Off!

One of my favorite artists, Skylar Grey, released a new single yesterday. Actually, it’s not a new single at all. It’s titled ‘Final Warning’ and she’s been performing it for years. It’s finally making it’s way onto her upcoming album, which I’m excited to experience when it comes out.

She’s got the voice of an angel and the body of a supermodel, though she hides the latter a bit…

Some dude done did her wrong at some point for her to write this tune! Check out the lyrics:

Someone’s gonna get hurt
Na-na-na-na, na-na, na-na-na-na
Someone’s gonna get hurt
Na-na-na-na, na-na, na-na-na-na
And it’s not gonna be me

Good morning gorgeous
I drove your truck in the lake last night
Hope she was worth it
Don’t worry, I slept just fine

You keep throwing punches but you won’t win this fight
You’re just fucking yourself when you don’t read the signs
I’m going to the kitchen, coming back with a knife
Cause I’ve had enough this time

This is your final warning
There’s a dark cloud overhead
This is your final warning
Just remember what I said
Someone’s gonna get hurt
Na-na-na-na, na-na, na-na-na-na
Someone’s gonna get hurt
Na-na-na-na
And it’s not gonna be me

Good afternoon dear
How does the rope feel around your neck?
Just one more error
Could be a fatal step

You keep throwing punches but you won’t win this fight
You’re just fucking yourself when you don’t read the signs
I’m going to the kitchen, coming back with a knife
Cause I’ve had enough this time

This is your final warning
There’s a dark cloud overhead
This is your final warning
Just remember what I said
Someone’s gonna get hurt
Na-na-na-na, na-na, na-na-na-na
Someone’s gonna get hurt
Na-na-na-na
And it’s not gonna be me

Cause you’re the one thing
You are, you are the one thing
Cause you’re the one thing
You are, you are

This is your final warning
There’s a dark cloud overhead
This is your final warning
Just remember what I said
Someone’s gonna get hurt
Na-na-na-na, na-na, na-na-na-na
Someone’s gonna get hurt
Na-na-na-na
And it’s not gonna be me

Cause you’re the one thing
You are, you are the one thing
Cause you’re the one thing
You are, you are the one thing

Here’s a live performance from Lollapalooza a couple years ago…

I know… the audio isn’t the greatest… but am I the only one who can’t stop staring at her midsection? WOW!

Here’s a still shot!

OH! If you’re wondering about that ink, here’s a better picture of it…

Hell yeah, SIDE BOOB!

Anyway, go to Amazon.com HERE to buy the single!

LATE BREAKING NEWS!

Brunswick bad girl, Alexis, just completed another project… and as much as she wants to put a baseball bat to my knees, she has a fantastic touch with the charcoal…

 

She is an amazing young woman with exceptional talent and I love her so much!

Hi-fi Friday ~ Peter Gabriel

A week ago today, Peter Gabriel’s father passed away at 100 years old. He wrote this song for him. It’s quite beautiful…

Well that one makes me miss my Dad…

I had no clue who Peter Gabriel was until his video for ‘Sledgehammer’ was played, seemingly, every fifteen minutes on MTV. I really liked it and I believe I watched that video, start to finish, every time it was aired. Dude’s stuff was funky, different!

I did the same thing back in 1986 as I do now when I “discover” a new artist; went out in search of older material. Well, it turned out this Peter Gabriel dude was around for quite some time before ‘Sledgehammer’. See, ‘Sledgehammer’ was off of ‘So’, Gabriel’s 5th solo studio album since 1977. Why do I say solo album? Well, prior to going solo, he was in some band called Genesis as the lead vocalist. He was one of the founding members, actually.

That really wasn’t a knock on Genesis… seriously. I was never a huge fan of them, however. I mean, really, go look up ‘Invisible Touch’ on YouTube… it’s not that bad… <vomits on keyboard>

Anyway!

Over time, I was able to collect the previous four Gabriel studio albums, all of which had some truly amazing songs with varying degrees of that funky sound.

Years later I figured out what that “funky sound” was. It’s called world music. There’s really not a good, solid definition for world music. It can best be described as a classification of music that combines Western popular music styles with one of many genres of non-Western music that are also described as folk music or ethnic music.

This can best be illustrated by the following live version of ‘In Your Eyes’ off of the aforementioned ‘So’ album. I know… most of you know this tune from that movie ‘Say Anything’.. the boombox scene…

This here is a totally different song, if you ask me…

Freakin’ awesome, no?

I went to see Peter Gabriel back in 1993 for his ‘Secret World Live’ tour at the old Richfield Coliseum. This joint:

Though the coliseum is gone, the memory of that show will remain forever. To this day, it’s the best show I’ve ever seen…

The stage setup was just magnificent! This next video is from that tour, though not from Cleveland… check out the stage!

The song is about his struggles to get through to his daughter… something I’m all too familiar with.

Hoo boy… this one was really hard to listen to…

This last one is one of my favorite Gabriel tunes. Funny thing is, my 5 year old daughter loves it just as much… The whistling part is what caught her attention, but now she knows all the lyrics. This is, again, from the ’93 show that I want to… though not professionally shot like the last one… Still pretty cool, though!

Someday, I’ll tell Delana what the song is about…

Enjoy your weekend, folks!

~ G

Hug your children and love them every day…

We Interrupt Your Regularly Scheduled Programming….

… with another one of Alexis’ pieces. Let me preface this by saying I am not a fan of Taylor Swift. I find her annoying and unattractive.

But when my daughter freehands something like this, I find Ms. Swift that much more tolerable.

 

She did this with charcoal pencils, by the way.

Go HERE to see some more of her stuff.

Did I ever mention to y’all how awesome my kids are?

~ G

Hug your children and love them every day…

 

Hi-fi Friday ~ Guns N’ Roses Ballads

I was gonna do today’s post about Meat Loaf since he played here in Cleveland on Wednesday, but I got stuck in a G N’ R rut today. The Loaf will have to wait ’til next Friday to get his feature!

I have to share the picture of Axl Rose that was going around on Facebook a couple days ago..

I laughed so hard at that picture! Seriously… I’m crying right now! Poor Axl. Guns N’ Roses could’ve been the biggest act in the history of music, in my opinion, had Axl and Slash been able to get along!

Okay… serious face… When one door closes another one opens, right? That’s what I’ve been told, at least…

I present to you two of the greatest Guns N’ Roses tunes ever produced…. These are, obviously, the ‘door closing’ type of songs if you will…

~ Estranged ~

When you’re talkin’ to yourself
And nobody’s home
You can fool yourself
You came in this world alone, alone

So nobody ever told you baby
How it was gonna be
What’ll happen to you baby?
Guess we’ll have to wait and see

Old at heart but I’m only 28
And I’m much too young to let love break my heart
Young at heart but it’s getting much too late
To find ourselves so far apart

I don’t know how you’re supposed to find me lately
And what more could you ask from me
How could you say that I never needed you?
When you took everything, said you took everything from me

Young at heart an’ it gets so hard to wait
When no one I know can seem to help me now
Old at heart but I mustn’t hesitate
If I’m to find my own way out

Still talkin’ to myself and nobody’s home, alone

So nobody ever told us baby
How it was gonna be
So what’ll happen to us baby?
Guess we’ll have to wait and see

When I find out all the reasons
Maybe I’ll find another way, find another day
With all the changing seasons of my life
Maybe I’ll get it right next time

Now that you’ve been broken down
Got your head out of the clouds
You’re back down on the ground and you don’t talk so loud
And you don’t walk so proud any more, and what for

Well I jumped into the river
Too many times to make it home
I’m out here on my own, and drifting all alone
If it doesn’t show give it time to read between the lines

‘Cause I see the storm getting closer
And the waves they get so high
Seems everything we’ve ever known’s here
Why must it drift away and die?

I’ll never find anybody to replace you
Guess I’ll have to make it through this time
Oh, this time without you

I knew the storm was getting closer
And all my friends said I was high
But everything we’ve ever known’s here
I never wanted it to die

And of course… the ultimate…

~ November Rain ~

When I look into your eyes
I can see a love restrained
But darlin’ when I hold you
Don’t you know I feel the same’Cause nothin’ lasts forever
And we both know hearts can change
And it’s hard to hold a candle
In the cold November rainWe’ve been through this such a long long time
Just tryin’ to kill the painBut lovers always come and lovers always go
An no one’s really sure who’s lettin’ go today
Walking away

If we could take the time
to lay it on the line
I could rest my head
Just knowin’ that you were mine
All mine
So if you want to love me
then darlin’ don’t refrain
Or I’ll just end up walkin’
In the cold November rain

Do you need some time…on your own
Do you need some time…all alone
Everybody needs some time… on their own
Don’t you know you need some time…all alone

I know it’s hard to keep an open heart
When even friends seem out to harm you
But if you could heal a broken heart
Wouldn’t time be out to charm you

Sometimes I need some time…on my own
Sometimes I need some time…all alone
Everybody needs some time… on their own
Don’t you know you need some time…all alone

And when your fears subside
And shadows still remain
I know that you can love me
When there’s no one left to blame
So never mind the darkness
We still can find a way
‘Cause nothin’ lasts forever
Even cold November rain

Don’t ya think that you need somebody
Don’t ya think that you need someone
Everybody needs somebody
You’re not the only one
You’re not the only one

Enjoy your weekend folks!

Hug your children and love them every day…

Hi-fi Friday ~ The Evolution of Eminem

Man… Eminem turned 40 on Wednesday. He certainly doesn’t appear 40, considering all he’s been through. I’m always amazed at how much his music has ‘matured’ over the years… Check it out!

From what I can tell, it was about 15 years ago I stumbled across Eminem. Here’s how it happened:

I heard Kid Rock’s ‘Bawitdaba’ on the radio one day and loved it! I went out that day and picked up his CD, ‘Devil Without a Cause’. I was immediately hooked! The  way Kid Rock combined rock and hip hop was fascinating. I listened to that CD for quite some time.

Now… there was a track on that CD titled ‘Fuck Off,’ which ended with a silly sounding rapper, called himself ‘Slim Shady’, who caught my attention. Here was his verse…

Yo, tell the world to hold their breath they’re breathing the wrong air
This planet belongs to me and this hippy with long hair
Two white boys who spike punch and light joints
Hang around drugs, loud music, and like noise
Slim Shady and Brown Trucker another bunch of mother fuckers
Who hate the world as much as each other
And I ain’t leaving this party tonight
Till I see some naked bitches dancin around drunk touchin each other
Rum and Pepsi got your perception of me sketchy
Cause when I stage dive people are scared to catch me
Cause all I do is curse and fuck
So when I do shrooms you all better give me two rooms
Cause I’m fuckin the first one up
So when you see me on your block you better lock your cars
Cause you know I’m losin it when I’m rappin to rock guitars
This is for children who break rules
People that straight fool
And every single teenager that hates school

Fuck Off

I know… that’s not my father’s Neil Diamond… But I liked it… raw, funny, edgy, a bit controversial…

Several months later, I hear about this ‘Slim Shady LP’ that was gettin’ pretty popular. Slim Shady? Why does that sound so familia…. Ohhh it’s the guy from the Kid Rock song… and he had a single out… it was this.

~ My Name Is ~

I was immediately intrigued because he mentioned Dr. Dre, of NWA fame, who I was a huge fan of. But wait… this white rapper, working with Dr. Dre of NWA, NO WAY!

Yeah, a lot of Eminem’s stuff is incredibly funny, but it also crosses into controversial and gets pretty dark at times. That’s pretty good range for a rapper, as most rappers are only good writing about bitches and blunts (note: that IS how he started, though)!

He blew up from his ’99 release of the Slim Shady LP up until he starred in the awesome flick ‘8 Mile’ in ’02, which brought us this single… a fight song of sorts for me… Don’t even tell me this tune doesn’t fire you up when you have a goal you want to achieve…

~ Lose Yourself ~

The next couple years, Eminem released another studio album, ‘Encore,’ and a compilation album, ‘Curtain Call’. A lot of his material was becoming much more mature. Yeah, he still wrote nasty stuff about his ex-wife, Kim, but he also wrote ‘Mockingbird’ to his young daughter Hailie. As a divorcee, this tune has a bit of meaning to me…

~ Mockingbird ~

Unfortunately, behind the scenes, Eminem had been dealing with prescription drug addiction. He considered suicide at times and in 2009 released ‘Relapse,’ which was so terrible it almost made me consider suicide… Just terrible stuff…

But… he bounced back a couple years ago with ‘Recovery,’ which is, in my opinion, his best stuff yet. There’s definitely a better quality to his work when he’s clean.

I leave you with a video that’s not from ‘Recovery’ but instead one he did with Dr. Dre last year. Em and Dre sort of come full circle in this one.

~ I Need A Doctor ~

Oh… and that angelic voice you hear throughout the song? That’s Skylar Grey, my soon-to-be girlfriend!

Enjoy your weekend folks!

Hug your children and love them every day…

New Forshiggles Series ~ Hi-fi Friday! Steel Panther gets the Inaugural Edition!

I like music. It’s a big part of my life and, as I’m sure is the same with most people, my music changes depending on my mood; or I hear a tune that changes my mood. I’ve always wanted to play drums, but never got into it. Who knows, maybe someday soon I’ll look into it as another hobby!

Oftentimes I’ll post videos on Facebook when a certain feeling or mood strikes me. Piss me off? You’re getting a video! If you give me the warm fuzzies… you’re getting a video, though not one from Pantera!

Anyway, I’m gonna utilize Hi-fi Fridays to highlight music or artists that interest or affect me. Heck, you may see something on here that interests YOU!

For the first Edition of Hi-fi Friday, since I’m feeling goofy, I offer Steel Panther…

These dudes just ain’t right! They took on the look of an ’80s hair band, play that style of music, but with their own hilarious lyrics! Check ’em out!

~ If You Really Really Love Me ~

I had to stick the lyrics on here, though watching the video is the only way to get the full experience..

If you really really really really love me
Then you really really really gotta show me
Don’t whine when I put it in your booty
Or if I’m up all night playing Call of Duty
Never hassle me because I’m unemployed
If I sleep all day don’t get annoyed
Then I’ll know that you really really really really really really really love me
If you really really love me

If you really truly want to make me feel nice
Make it so I don’t ever have to ask twice
Let me have the keys to your Mercedes
Don’t get mad when I bring home some ladies
If I get fat and look like an ape
Lie to me, tell me I’m in great shape
Then I’ll know that you really really really
Really really really love me

If you wonder what I did with the rent
Just consider it money well spent
I bought trunks and a new surfboard
So just go tell your dumb landlord
That you love me
You really really love me

If I have sex with your friend Melanie
Don’t act like it’s some kind of felony
It’s not uncommon for this kind of infidelity
It happens to a lot of guys like Tiger Woods and me
Just be happy that I’m hung like a horse
And you get to ride the pony of course
‘Cause I’m really really really really really really
Really really fond of you too

When you think it’s really suckie girl
All your friends will say ‘you lucky girl’
You got a man who’s hot you say
All the girls wanna be with me
‘Cause they love me
They really really love me
Yes they do

If you really really really really love me
You’d never make me hang out with your family
Your mum sucks and your dad really hates me
When I try to borrow money he berates me
Somehow he thinks that I’m too old for you
‘Cause you’re 19 and I’m 52
He can’t see that you really really really really really really love me
You really really really really really really really really love me
If you really really love me

 

Okay one more…. Featuring a sexy, silly Sarah Silverman at the end!

~ Death to all But Metal ~

Cracks me up every time!

Enjoy your weekend, folks!

~ G

Bought KISS’ New Album Yesterday ~ Here’s My Official Review

Actually.. I didn’t buy an album, I bought the MP3 version on Amazon (Suck it iTunes). It was humorous to see that KISS was selling it on vinyl on Amazon as well… gotta love the marketing mind of Gene Simmons!

What also made me giggle for the past month was that KISS was encouraging me, via twitter and Facebook, to pre-order ‘Monster’ from iTunes. Why would anyone pre-order a download? Are they gonna run out? Ha ha!

Anyway, yesterday I came home for lunch and downloaded ‘Monster’ from Amazon in about 90 seconds. Didn’t really get a chance to listen to it in it’s entirety until today.

I’ve never done an official album review before, so I can’t do it like the douchebags over at Rolling Stone. Here’s my take:

Holy shit it’s freakin’ AWESOME! Let’s go track by track shall we?

Hell or Hallelujah ~

This is the only single released thus far. I saw ’em perform it live at Blossom and it kicks ass. Paul’s vocals, at 60 years old, are just as good as ever. This one makes me think ‘Animalize’ a bit…

Wall of Sound ~

I’m still hoping this one will grow on me. Not bad, but not great. Tommy Thayer gets a decent solo on here. More ‘Animalize’ if ya ask me… Gene, as always, sounds great!

Freak ~ 

Pretty good tune here… Stanley has some powerful vocals on this one. Lyrically, this song is clearly reaching out to anybody out there who’s “different” according to society. I liked this line by Gene:  “I pledge allegiance… to the state of… independence…” Nice theme song for those who are bullied…

Back to the Stone Age ~

Made me bob my head a bit… Strong Gene vocals with Paul wailing in the background. Some speedy drumming by Singer and nice licks by Thayer.

Shout Mercy ~

Typical Paul Stanley slightly sexually oriented song, “We’re gonna make a little ecstasy, you and me (whoo-hoo)..” The woo-hoos are a bit aggravating, however. Thayer sounds awesome on this track. Tommy Thayer would totally destroy Ace Frehley in Guitar Hero, by the way… Also, if I get a woman to shout “mercy” while we’re going at it, I’m working too old of an age bracket…

Long Way Down ~

Not a bad song… ‘Nother one that will undoubtedly grow on me… Good work by Eric Singer on this one…

Eat Your Heart Out ~

Starts off with some silly sounding a capella action, then rolls into a classic Gene Simmons sex song… This one’s for the ladies who wanna jump into the bathtub and fantasize about the 63 year old Simmons and his need to EAT YOUR… heart out BABY!

The Devil Is Me  ~ 

I struggle with this one… It’s like something off of Gene’s solo album. Don’t get me wrong… it’s not that bad, but it’s far from great.

Outta This World ~

This is clearly an attempt by Tommy Thayer to cement his status as the “Spaceman” of KISS. Well done! He absolutely hit a home run on this one! His guitarin’ is crisper and his vocals are way better than Ace. Sorry, Ace. I love you man, but Tommy’s the shit!

All for the Love of Rock & Roll ~

Classic KISS sound here…. Eric Singer has great vocals. This song made me wanna clap and shake my ass… Woo hoo!

Take Me Down Below ~

This song takes Asylum’s ‘UH All Night’ and Smashes, Thrashes and Hits’ ‘Let’s Put the X in Sex,’ crumples ’em up, puts a hard edge on it and heads into Swank Magazine territory.. here’s a sampling…

When I asked her to take a ride with me (come here baby!)
She took my finger, here’s a button to press
I raised my thang and she dropped her dress
I’ll take you on a cruise you’ll never forget
She said, “we better move ’cause I’m already wet”

WHOA….. YEEEAAAAAH!

Last Chance ~

Because of the previous song, I forgot about this one… I think it’s pretty good, though!

Overall? Nice release by KISS! The style of these songs seems to drift across a lot of their styles dating back to the ’70s through Sonic Boom. Good stuff, regardless! Buy it on Amazon and definitely not on iTunes…

Hug your children and love them every day…