Sexy Saturday ~ Research Edition!

I’m getting a bit nervous folks. My average daily views here at For Shiggles have dropped in half, to around 300 a day, the last few months.

I’ve been looking at the stats on here a bit more often to figure out what I can do to increase traffic. WordPress, the site this is written on, recommends I read, comment and interact with other blog sites. I don’t have time for that!

Oh well, I’ll just keep writing stuff and throwing it out there; maybe some key words or tags will stick!

Anyway, last week I looked at who people were searching for and landed on my site. Had some pretty interesting results.

This morning, I Googled “Sexy Saturday” and, after seven pages, this site still didn’t come up. Shit! I gave up and clicked on “Images” to see if any of my awesome pictures came up! NOPE! UGH!

As I was scrolling through the images, I noticed that a lot of them were shirtless dudes! Clicking on those won’t get ya here! One image caught my eye… NO it wasn’t a dude, it was her:

WOW! She’s hot… and, unfortunately, I can’t find out who she is! Damn!

Hint: If you click on that picture, it gets really big (the image)! Then you can right-click it, save it and make it your background picture, as I have done here at For Shiggles Central Command!

Other stats I’ve been looking at are where my traffic comes from. Unfortunately, I can’t see what people search for by country because that would be awesome! I’m gonna make some assumptions here to answer this question: What do people search for, by country, for their Sexy Saturday?

I’m using the last year’s worth of data by the way.

Obviously, the majority of my traffic comes from the United States; 110,465 views! We love our football here, so I’m gonna guess that’s where all the “NFL Cheerleader” searches come from.

That’s awesome, but what about the next 10 countries? What are they searching for?

10. Spain (5,957 views)

Spanish model Diana Morales of course!

9. India?? (6,068 views)

I had no clue Indian women could be models without getting stoned to death at some point, but here is Shilpa Shetty!

8. Brazil (6,145 views)

That’s an easy one! I’ve featured Branca and Bia Feres on here before!

Also see: Gisele Bündchen.

7. Turkey (6,347 views)

Tuğçe Kazaz… WHOA!

6. Mexico (6,619 views)

I didn’t search anything for this one… Is there any Mexican woman other than Salma Hayek?

In case you weren’t aware, Salma also played the sexiest vampire ever, as Santanico Pandemonium in From Dusk till Dawn.

5. Australia (9,705 views)

I used to watch this FBI drama called Without a Trace that featured an Australian actress named Poppy Petal Emma Elizabeth Deveraux Donahue (yes..that’s her birth name) a.k.a. Poppy Montgomery.

She’s just adorable, no? She get’s one more..

4. France (16,761 views)

Eww… not surprised at all.

3. United Kingdom (18,840 views)

I don’t understand how the Royal Family thing works, but somehow the sister-in-law of Prince William is Pippa Middleton. A lot of people over there seem to get excited about her bum (ass!).

I dunno… not real remarkable… I’ve seen better bums over here for sure!

2. Germany (24,109 views)

Claudia Schiffer, of course!

1. Canada (28,171 views)

From our neighbors to the north I present to you Justin Bieber for the little girls and men who like little boys/lesbians…

Eww…

Enjoy the rest of your weekend, folks!

Sexy Saturday ~ Hung Over Edition!

The coffee isn’t quite working so I’m gonna try a Monster. Not anything from the Rehab series… I’m going full strength Monster Energy Drink.

Now THAT’S better!

Last night I did that thing that happens every once in a while… I said to myself, “Lets go up to the bar for one, maybe two drinks and just chill…” Myself said, “Sure, sounds like a plan!”

I get there and some of my friends are there, so this happens…

 

… well not that crazy, but just enough to put me in a bit of a haze today.

I don’t really feel like coming up with a theme today that requires me to search for pictures, so I’m gonna recycle some. Let’s take a look at the top 10 sexy searches on For Shiggles so far this year…

Coming in at number 10 we have Skylar Grey…

I featured Skylar on here as a more obscure artist about a year and a half ago and she’s coming along nicely and selling lots of records!

9. Jessica Albs’s ass…

Always a classic!

8. Jillian Michaels…

She works out a lot!

7. Jessica Simpson? Yep…

And “cameltoe” is included in the search term…

6. Jessi M’bengue…

… from Robin Thicke’s Blurred Lines video.

5. Hannah Davis…

The DirecTV Genie!

4. Tiger Woods’ Lindsey Vonn’s Ass…

I never put Lindsey’s ass on here and I don’t feel like searching for a picture of it…

3. Heather Kozar…

Wow! That’s ex-Cleveland Browns QB Tim Couch’s wife!

2. Samantha Hoopes…

That’s the picture I featured on here… from Sports Illustrated’s Swimsuit Edition. That’s paint, by the way!

And the number one sexy search on For Shiggles this year?

 Jessica Biel’s Ass…

Even though her ass is the most searched for on here…

…THAT is the most clicked on Jessica Biel image…

Looks like “Jessicas” are winning, with three in the top 10!

Sexy Saturday ~ My Name is Earl Edition!

Before things get sexy here let’s celebrate Spring, the first day of which was two days ago! YAY SPRING! Here is how a typical Spring day in Ohio can go. Yesterday morning it was 25 degrees and we got a quick blast of snow…

Just a light dusting, really… but only a few hours later…

…it was sunny and near 50 degrees! Woo hoo! Only 93 days ’til the first day of Summer! Speaking of Summer, I posted this video earlier for Hi-fi Friday…

 

… and realized I had completely forgotten about Jaime Pressly; who appears in it. She’s hot! Jaime played Joy Turner in the hit sitcom, My Name is Earl.

Don’t let that goofy picture fool you, ’cause Jaime is quite stunning…

… she also looks pretty good when shot in black & white…

Or the ultimate colors…

She was also pretty patriotic as Joy; stripping dancing at Club Chubby!

And she appears to be a pretty decent athlete…

… but Joy had serious competition on My Name is Earl. That competition came in the form of Catalina Aruca…

… who was the housekeeper at the hotel where Earl lived. Catalina is played by actress and model Nadine Velazquez…

… who is way hotter than Jaime Pressly! Sorry Jaime…

See, I’ve never had a successful relationship with a blonde so, given a choice, I’m going with the brunette!

Nadine fits the bill for sure!

Right?

Enjoy the rest of your weekend, folks!

Sexy Saturday ~ Femme Fatales!

Today’s round of sexiness comes to you via my second request in as many weeks!

After I posted what I believe to be one of my better Sexy Saturdays last week, my awesome cousin, K Lo, suggested that I do a post about, “Sexy chicks that could kick your ass!”

I’m always receptive to suggestions, so keep ’em coming! And rest assured that I will not use your real name while posting, ya know, because of that whole NSA spying thing!

Anyway, when I think of sexy, bad ass women, the first one who comes to mind is Wonder Woman!

… a.k.a. Lynda Carter…

… who has apparently aged incredibly well for being 62 years old and being this hot:

WOW! She looks fantastic! Of course she’s had some work done, but who cares.

One of K Lo’s specific suggestions was to include a character named Violet Song Jat Shariff who’s in a movie called Ultraviolet. I’ve never heard of this movie, but Google helped me find Violet:

Who is played by the insanely attractive Milla Jovovich.

Milla likes to play that sexy badass role as she is also the star in the Resident Evil series of movies. I’ve never seen any of those movies…

… but I feel I should because there are scenes featuring guns and moist women…

Alright folks… here is how my posts sometimes get off track. After I stuck the above picture on here I thought, “WHO is that redhead with Alice? She looks familiar.”

Turns out it’s Ali Larter…

…who I remember from Varsity Blues.

Mmmmmm… That one made me hungry!

Okay… back on track now! Here we have Elektra Natchios from Daredevil…

…played by Jennifer Garner.

I sorta struggle with Jennifer Garner. I mean, she’s got a bangin’ body… there’s just something about her face… almost looks like a dude sometimes.

There, much better!

K Lo also suggested I check out Angelina Jolie in Salt. To be honest, K Lo, I couldn’t find many sexy pictures from that flick…

… other than that one, there were a lot of pictures in which she looked like a homeless person…

… about to jack a car!

I prefer my Angie as Lara Croft in Tomb Raider…

… or even as Sara “Sway” Wayland from Gone in 60 Seconds…

Oh… and the other sexy bitch in that movie?

Eleanor! I’d have a hard time choosing between Sway and Eleanor!

And, oh dear God, lets not forget about the stunning Scarlett Johansson…

… as Black Widow from Iron Man 2…

Whew! NICE!

Last but not least, here’s Rebecca Romijn…

… as Mystique from X-Men…

There ya go, K Lo! I could prolly go on forever with this post, but gotta stop at some point! Thanks for the suggestion!

OH! For the ladies… and men who like men, since we’re on X-Men, I present Hugh Jackman…

…as Wolverine

Happy Saturday, folks!

Sexy Saturday ~ In Which We Bid Adieu to Mila Kunis! : (

 

Well, it’s official. Jackie and Kelso are gettin’ hitched…

…apparently their engagement was confirmed sometime this week.

So Mila Kunis is off the market… dammit! I really thought I had a chance with her, considering the high end dudes she dates like Macaulay Culkin…

… dear God, Mila! 8 years with that? I’m an upgrade for sure! You knew that too, girl! Remember that one time, a couple years ago, when we hung out at Hinckley Park?

We had so much fun and you seemed so happy!

Then along comes $140,000,000 Ashton Kutcher and ya split? Ugh!

Guess I shouldn’t knock Ashton, dude’s funny as hell and girls like funny guys! And if a funny guy is loaded like Ashton, that’s 140,000,000 reasons to sit on his face!

Oh well, time to quit moping around and move on. I believe Emily Ratajkowski is still single…

… best get working on her!

In the meantime, let’s take a look at the beautiful Mila Kunis before the pregnancy pictures start popping up on TMZ…

Oh snap! That’s Jackie Burkhart… how about some real Mila?

Gotta love the hand bra, no?

Mmmmmm… those boots!

One more reason why I’m an ass guy!

Oh my… how’d that get in here? That’s Mila as Lily, going down on Nina in Black Swan! Go watch that movie now! Man, I watched that GIF for at least 7 minutes!

Mila has a condition called heterochromia iridum, where her irises are different colors; left eye is brown and right is green (click the pic a couple times to embiggen it)…

Just like my dog!

Speaking of dogs, here are a couple submissions for the ladies and men who like men. Ashton Fucking Kutcher…

Oops, that’s Kelso… how about this?

And Fez…

Goodbye Mila!

Enjoy the rest of your weekend folks!

Sexy Saturday ~ Body Paint Edition!

Dear God just loogit that ass! That’s Emily Ratajkowski!

In case you weren’t aware, Sports Illustrated’s 50th Swimsuit Edition just came out… For the past several years they’ve featured some of the models with “swimwear” painted on them… yes… painted!

They actually look pretty realistic! Here are a few more of Emily!

… I sure do enjoy reading boobs Sports Illustrated!

I actually bounced my face off my monitor trying to get a good look at that one!

Emily was one of four models this year to get paint slathered all over them…

Here’s Hannah Ferguson….

YAY nipples… I doubt they painted nipples on… that would be sorta redundant, no?

Or here’s Lauren Mellor…

I would LOVE to meet the artists who painted this stuff on these women. My first question would be, “How the HELL did you maintain a steady hand?”

Then, “How do ya paint Samantha Hoopes’ twat without losing your concentration…?”

I know I would!

Or Cris Urena’s ass…

I looked around on SI’s website to find out who does this paintin’… and it’s some old lady, go figure! I couldn’t find her name anywhere to give her credit.

Now I freakin’ hate painting. After three years at this townhouse, I’ve only gotten 75% of it painted!

But THIS sort of painting could probably hold my interest… so I figured I’d give it a shot…

That is a full body smiley face… Can ya see it? I like the smiley face theme, so check this one out…

That is a precision smiley top I painted there! Whew… this is hard work… So for the last one I just free styled!

Emily Ratajkowski photographed by Greg in Brunswick, OH ~ All Rights Reserved

I was hoping to submit a picture here for the ladies and men who like men but was horrified by the results when I Googled “body painted men.”

So here is Dwayne Johnson… with the more permanent type of ink…

Enjoy the rest of your weekend folks!

Most photos courtesy of Sports Illustrated.

Sexy Saturday ~ Emily Ratajkowski Edition!!!

Before I get into two HUGE news items, I need to share some thoughts about yoga pants!

Last night, on the way home from work, I stopped at the grocery store to pick up a few things and saw at least half a dozen women wearing yoga pants.

This is NOT one of them and is, instead, a shot of a young lady at Walmart!

THIS is what was at Giant Eagle last night…

…. woo hoo! Yoga pants are a fantastic clothing item… only if used correctly, however! They should come in small or medium (for the taller ladies)…That’s it… XXL is just, eww!

Naturally, I Googled yoga pants and came up with some pretty awesome results…

Like this one…

… She’s not doing yoga at all, nor is she wearing anything underneath from what I can tell…

Here is a proper use of those pants… like, for yoga…

… I need to sign up for a class… Like IMMEDIATELY!

Whew! Anyway, on to the big news items!

First of all, one of my favorite up and coming models, Emily Ratajkowski, will officially be in the 50th anniversary of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue… as a “rookie” for some reason… Here’s how she announced it on her official Twitter account (@emrata)…

 

And if you follow her on Twitter, since she’s from London, you’ll see that she calls her ass her bum! So cute!

If you’re not familiar with Emily, you may remember Robin Thicke’s video for Blurred Lines, in which she was prominently featured (beware, there are exposed breasts in this video; sooo not safe for work)…

One of my fellow bloggers has a site on which she featured my dear Emily. Unfortunately, it was merely a head shot and to be honest, Emily’s face isn’t her best feature. Check out that post HERE. I’ve included some more “extensive” photos if you’ll continue..

HOLY SHIT! She should be on the COVER of Sports Illustrated!

Yes… her boobs are real, so don’t even say it! Watch the above video for proof!

Dear God….

Oh yeah, the other big news is that Emily has recently split with her creepy looking ginger boyfriend…

Do I have a chance with her? Of course I do! Unfortunately, for her, she hasn’t answered any of my 37 emails… yet! I’ll let y’all know how it goes!

Alright… few more photos then I gotta go!

Whew!

I gotta post something here for the ladies and the men who like men. This past week at work, some of my female coworkers were gushing about Tony Stark Robert Downey Jr. So here ya go!

 

 

 

Enjoy the rest of your weekend, folks!

Sexy Saturday ~ Browns Cheerleaders Edition!

Reader, Elaine, told me that I should bring back Sexy Saturday, so here we go…

There are 26 teams in the NFL that have cheerleading squads. That means six unlucky teams don’t have squads… those teams are the Bears, Lions, Packers, Giants, Steelers and of course the Cleveland Browns!

Back in July, the Browns announced they’re going to enhance the gameday experience in and around FirstEnergy Stadium. My first thought was, “Yay, cheerleaders!” Boy was I wrong! What was one of their ideas? A freakin’ drumline. Yeah… a bunch of dorks playng drums. Oh yeah, we’re also gonna get some kick ass score boards and a new sound system!

But why not cheerleaders? When there’s a shitty team on the field, the next best thing to watch would be a bunch of tits and asses bouncing around near the 30 yard line! Hell, the worst team in the NFL, the Houston Texans, have cheerleaders…

… Well, it’s too cold here in the Cleveland area so don’t expect to see cheerleaders any time soon.

In the meantime, I’m going to assemble my Cleveland Browns Fantasy Cheerleading Squad!

The obvious first choice would be Hayden Panettiere…

… not only does Hayden have cheerleading experience, she was also the captain at Pacific Vista High School…

She would be the captain for the Browns cheerleaders too!

My next choice would be Mrs. Timberlake Jessica Biel!

She’s beau-ti-ful! Here’s a little known Jessica Biel fact: She was featured in the video for Aerosmith’s 2001 ballad Fly Away from Here. Check it out:

And loogit her ass!

Who’s next? Oh yeah, MMA cage girl Jennifer Swift.

Unfortunately, Ms. Swift is a Giants fan…

… but I won’t hold that against her because of…

… Hoo boy, loogit her ass! She’s not just a perfect ass pretty face, however… Jennifer Swift has helped me with a couple causes the last couple years and for that I’m thankful!

I would also like to have singer/songwriter Skylar Grey as a Browns cheerleader…

Skylar is not only gorgeous, but extremely talented! Eminem has a huge hit titled Love The Way You Lie. The song and accompanying video feature that idiot Rihanna… Skylar Grey wrote that shit, however… Check out Love The Way You Lie at the 2:55 mark…

A still shot from the same performance…

I don’t know who this woman is, but she’s hired!

I looked her up, her name is Anais Zanotti and she seems to have a nice personality!

I would also include Sarah Hyland, who plays big sis Haley Dunphy on Modern Family…

She’s kinda okay… right?

Since I’m on Modern Family, how could I not include the stunning and hilarious Sofia Vergara?

That’s stunning and so is this…

… and this is hilarious!

Last, and definitely not least, I want Emily Ratajkowski shakin’ it for the Browns…

… she looks great from both sides…

… and also knows how to dance as evidenced in this Robin Thicke video titled Blurred Lines…

That completes my Cleveland Browns Fantasy Cheerleading Squad! I’m gonna send a copy of this to the Browns front office, hoping they’ll consider cheerleaders some time soon!

For the ladies and men who like men, here’s Cleveland’s stud TE Jordan Cameron looking quite dreamy…

Enjoy the rest of your weekend, folks!

What to Watch Today instead of NASCAR!

Oh man… my head’s all over the place this morning; prolly because I had a Mountain Dew while waiting for my coffee to brew! First song I fired up today was Berzerk by Eminem because it seemed fitting..

…speaking of Eminem, this past Tuesday he released his 8th studio album: The Marshall Mathers LP 2. It’s absolutely awesome! Produced by Rick Rubin on this one, Eminem does some awesome shit with material by Joe Walsh, The Zombies, Billy Squier and Wayne Fontana & The Mindbenders. You should go to Amazon and buy it. Right now!

Anyway, I stopped watching NASCAR a couple months ago because it turned into the WWE of motorsports. No offense to professional wrestling; everyone already knows you’re fake… NASCAR just does a swell job of hiding their fakeness… One part where NASCAR is real, however, is their annual support of veterans around Veterans Day with some cool paint jobs…

… but that’s about it!

Apparently there’s a potentially fixed race around 3:00ish EST today in Phoenix. Instead of watching that you should check out some NFL football!

My Browns have a bye today, but there’s a big matchup between two other AFC North teams; Bengals at Ravens and ya know what’s stupid? I don’t get to see that game, I’m stuck with Bills at Steelers… Who gives a shit about the Bills and the Steelers? They should just air that game in Buffalo and Pittsburgh! Of course I wanna see Buffalo win because I hate Pittsburgh.

Today, however, I’m a Ravens fan. Here in Cleveland, we need Baltimore to beat Cincinnati. This will allow the Browns to get closer to first place in the AFC North. Hell, nearly 80% of the country gets to see Bengals at Ravens. But not me…

Oh yeah… there’s a really cool website you should check out that shows maps of which NFL games are aired in what parts of the country. It’s called 506sports.com. See it HERE.

Another game this afternoon worth checking out is the stupid Broncos at San Diego at 4:25. GO CHARGERS!!!

Here are a couple other alternatives to fake racing:

Figure Skating from Tokyo.

U.S. Womens Soccer team vs. Brazil, featuring forward Alex Morgan…

… and, well, Brazil…

Oops… I don’t think think those are soccer players…

Monday Moanin’ ~ WOW… Did You Guys See That?

Holy shit… HOLY SHIT… did the Browns look great yesterday or what?

I’ll admit that I was all bent outta shape on Wednesday when we traded RB Trent Richardson to the Colts. I’ll admit that I thought we were throwing in the towel this season, only to be concerned about next May’s raft.

But boy, oh boy, was I wrong!

Okay…. now it’s time to calm down, Greg. They looked bad at times too… There was hot and cold on both sides of the ball.

Let me start with the offense. The return of WR Josh Gordon was HUGE. Dudes a stud for sure… 10 catches for 146 yards and a TD… just needs to keep passing drug tests!

There was a bit of a snowball effect with the offense. As Gordon was producing, the Vikings DBs started to cheat towards him, this gave WR Davone Bess some opportunities underneath. He had a couple drops, but he also converted a couple key 3rd downs.

Also a stud? TE Jordan Cameron…

… It’s been said more than once how much I like my Caucasian TEs! Remember Steve Heiden? Yeah… loved him too! Three games into the season, and Cameron is tied for 10th in the league for receiving yards; also tied for 1st for receiving TDs at 4! Prior to the start of the season, I predicted Jordan Cameron would have 50 catches for around 600 yards this season and 7 TDs. Check this out… He’s on pace to catch 106 passes for 1,434 yards and 21 touchdowns!! Will that happen? Not a chance, because defenses will now pay more attention to him… I’m just being positive!

In that picture above…. QB1, Brandon Fucking Weeden, misses on that pass…

That brings me to QB3, Brian Hoyer, who was on the other end of all this offensive production. He had a decent stat line I suppose.. 30 of 54 for 321 yards and three TDs. He looked great in the pocket… stepped up and made throws when the pocket collapsed, got rid of the ball quickly. He had a nice touch on the ball too. I always blast WRs for dropping the ball when it’s thrown too hard by the QB. I always say, “It’s the QB’s job to throw and the WR’s job to catch…” But screw that… if the QB is good enough to take something off the ball to make it more catchable, that’s how it should be!

Oh yeah, Hoyer also threw three picks. One was caused by a Vikings D lineman whacking his arm as he threw… That shit happens, especially when the offense is backed up  to their 5 yardline. This turnover allowed the Vikings to put up a TD and tie the game at 24.

The other two picks were just stupid throws that Hoyer obviously would’ve loved to have back. Good thing about those picks is the defense came through to bail him out.

On to defense now… After Hoyer’s first stupid pick, the Vikings went seven plays and then my boy, Jabaal Sheard, strip sacked Vikings QB Christian Ponder, recovered by Craig Robertson.

This led to Hoyer’s second stupid interception thrown on the next series…

Vikings run two running plays with Adrian Peterson and D’Qwell Jackson punches the ball out on the second and it’s recovered by Jabaal! We did nothing with it… just wanted to illustrate how the defense came through when it really counted.

Yeah, the defense allowed the Vikings to march down the field for their first possession and RB Adrian Peterson to score a TD… Peterson had 7 carries for 28 yards including that TD. After that, however, this Browns defense held Peterson to 18 carries for 60 yards the rest of the game; or 3.3 yards a carry….

… a very Trent Richardson-ish performance.

Speaking of T-Rich… I believe he averaged 2.7 yards a carry yesterday for Indy after scoring an easy TD on his first touch. Yep… 13 carries for 35 yards.

Anyway, this Browns defense is good! Before tonight’s Broncos/Raiders game, Cleveland is the 8th ranked team against the run and 13th against the pass…. tied for third with twelve sacks….!!!!

LB Bark Mingo looks like he’s gonna be a fantastic football player… Paul Kruger is a stud. Front three kicked ass!

Special Teams? Holy shit were they hot yesterday! Fake punt for 34 yards… Spencer Lanning throws a TD to Jordan Cameron on a fake FG. Wow! My little dude, Travis Benjamin, muffed a punt, then had a nice runback in which we got to see his ass…

… no comment…