The coffee isn’t quite working so I’m gonna try a Monster. Not anything from the Rehab series… I’m going full strength Monster Energy Drink.
Now THAT’S better!
Last night I did that thing that happens every once in a while… I said to myself, “Lets go up to the bar for one, maybe two drinks and just chill…” Myself said, “Sure, sounds like a plan!”
I get there and some of my friends are there, so this happens…
… well not that crazy, but just enough to put me in a bit of a haze today.
I don’t really feel like coming up with a theme today that requires me to search for pictures, so I’m gonna recycle some. Let’s take a look at the top 10 sexy searches on For Shiggles so far this year…
Coming in at number 10 we have Skylar Grey…
I featured Skylar on here as a more obscure artist about a year and a half ago and she’s coming along nicely and selling lots of records!
9. Jessica Albs’s ass…
Always a classic!
8. Jillian Michaels…
She works out a lot!
7. Jessica Simpson? Yep…
And “cameltoe” is included in the search term…
6. Jessi M’bengue…
… from Robin Thicke’s Blurred Lines video.
5. Hannah Davis…
The DirecTV Genie!
4. Tiger Woods’ Lindsey Vonn’s Ass…
I never put Lindsey’s ass on here and I don’t feel like searching for a picture of it…
3. Heather Kozar…
Wow! That’s ex-Cleveland Browns QB Tim Couch’s wife!
2. Samantha Hoopes…
That’s the picture I featured on here… from Sports Illustrated’s Swimsuit Edition. That’s paint, by the way!
And the number one sexy search on For Shiggles this year?
Jessica Biel’s Ass…
Even though her ass is the most searched for on here…
…THAT is the most clicked on Jessica Biel image…
Looks like “Jessicas” are winning, with three in the top 10!
The other day, I was struggling to come up with an idea for today’s post so I asked my daughters for some help. Here’s the quick conversation:
ME: Hey girls, what should I write Sexy Saturday about?
DELANA (my 6 year old): You!
That cracked us all up!
I mean, I could do a Sexy Saturday about me, but I kinda like the fact that this site sorta flies under the radar. If I were to put up a bunch of sexy pictures of me on here, or videos of me twerking at the club, For Shiggles might blow up and I’m not quite ready for all that attention.
Anyway, I posted that commentary between Delana and I on Facebook and received an odd request from a very good friend of mine young woman whom I think of as one of my own children; reader Elaine’s eldest daughter. She said:
You should find pretty pregnant ladies so I don’t feel like a beluga whale.
Understand one thing, folks… Elaine’s eldest daughter is, I believe, 33 weeks pregnant, but she certainly shouldn’t feel like a beluga whale…
… though I have seen her pissed off and sorta look like that!
Anyway I decided to go with her recommendation and feature some hot women here who became impregnated at some point.
I was sorta skeptical of Googling “Sexy Pregnant Women” for fear of ending up on so weird fetish sites, so I just went with some celebrities who I remember getting knocked up…
You may remember Demi Moore. She was pretty hot years ago, but I think she’s like 107 years old now… she was in this awesome movie called Striptease back in 1996…
… Five years prior to that movie, Demi was on the cover of Vanity Fair magazine at seven months pregnant…
… Bruce Willis was responsible for that!
Or how about the artist formerly known as Britney Spears?
… 10 years ago she married Kevin Federline some douche who got to have sex with “Hot Britney” not too long before she became “Crazy Britney.” She did a photo shoot with Harper’s Bazaar magazine while pregnant with their second son…
… I don’t believe she ever lost that baby weight.
Speaking of baby weight, the average human baby weighs right around 7 1/2 pounds at full term. My ex wife damn near doubled her weight when she was pregnant with our first child. She ballooned to 170 pounds from her normal 100 pounds! Now if babies weighed 50 pounds I’d have understood the gain, but Alexis weighed in at 7 lbs. 9 1/2 oz.
I remember attempting to have a conversation with her midway through the pregnancy about healthy eating…
ME: You prolly shouldn’t eat that whole bag of chips.
HER: Aren’t you going grocery shopping today?
ME: Yeah.
HER: I made a list. You might want to take the truck when you go.
Actually, that conversation never happened. She got pissed at me for mentioning healthy eating and started yelling at me. Couldn’t understand her because of the donut in her mouth.
Anyway, here’s another one…
… Hoo boy did I like Christina Aguilera and that’s my all time favorite video of hers. With all the grinding there, I’m pretty sure she got pregnant while filming it!
This one pisses me off… Megan Fox!
…Not only did she marry Brian Austin Green that dork from 90210, she let him do stuff to her which resulted in her becoming pregnant…
Awwwww… how cute!
Here’s another case of a dork snagging a hot girl who’s way out of his league. New England Patriots quarterback, Tom Brady…
… and his wife Gisele Bündchen.
Brady has scored 373 times on the field during his twelve seasons with the Patriots. His best score thus far, however, was Gisele…
Last but not least, we have Jessica Simpson!
I believe Jessica used the same “nutrition plan” as my ex wife ’cause she blew up!
So to Elaine’s eldest daughter: You are beautiful…
I’ll admit it… I watched the Daytona 500 last week. It featured a 6 hour rain delay and yet another Danica Patrick crash…
…. Dear Danica managed to finish 40th of 43 drivers! Her strategy is horrible! She doesn’t even try to race anyone. She merely falls to the back to get out of everyone’s way. Well, when ya stay mid-pack or worse, you’re gonna get caught up in a crash when shit happens… and shit ALWAYS happens at Daytona…
Did ya know she made $282,778 to finish 40th?
Race winner Dale Earnhardt Jr. made $1,506,383!
I understand that the drivers only take home about 40% of the posted winnings, then 1/2 of THAT goes to taxes, but if I knew winning the race could put a bit over $300,000 in my pocket vs. $56,000 to crash I’d do my best to stay up front and try to win, not just finish the race clean…
Anyway… they’re racing in Phoenix today; green flag drops at around 3:15. Will I watch it? Maybe, maybe not!
I saw that The Dukes of Hazzard movie is on at 2:30 so I may watch that because it features this:
Go to around the 3:15 mark to watch Jessica “wash” the General Lee!
What the hell happened to Jessica Simpson, by the way?
I’ve also got the first episode of this season’s The Americans sitting on my DVR since last Wednesday. Might watch that too!
The Americans features the absolutely stunning Keri Russell…
… playing a dirty Russian spy in the ’80s! The Americans airs on Wednesdays at 10:00 pm on FX. You should definitely check it out!
I would soooo tell her all my secrets if she would just take a few minutes to “torture” me!
Whatever you may choose to watch or do today, enjoy the rest of your Sunday, folks!
Today’s edition of Sexy Saturday was inspired by a request from my friend Shane, the self proclaimed “Sweet piece of pie that everyone wants.” He wanted me to feature some southern beauties.
I’ll start off today with a submission for my female/non-traditional male readers. It’s SHANE!
There’s your spotlight, Shane…. Now lets get into the ladies!
Left or right? Hmmm…BOTH!
There’s just something about a woman who can handle a firearm… in her sports bra!
My job requires that I call construction companies all over the country. The young ladies from Georgia are, by far, the friendliest; I always imagine that they look like her:
That just reminded me…. Unfortunately, the young lady I’m speaking with more than likely resembles the woman at the end of this video.Y’all know this one, right?
Here’s one for you, Shane! Gainesville isn’t too far from you….
Since we’re (ahem) going down south today…. Let’s play guess the vagina! Any ideas??
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