Enjoy your manufactured “holiday”…. enjoy your time together; your fancy dinner. I bet your boyfriend/husband will even open your door for you today. Any other day, he prolly doesn’t! Oh well, you’ll fall for it, anyway!
Yeah… I’m bitter because I can’t do the same because of the lack of a “Valentine.” Oh… she technically exists; just too damn far away. And I open her door ALL the time when we get to hang out… It’s what I do, because she deserves to get treated like the awesome woman she is, not just on holidays or anniversaries, but every single day!
I’m pissed because we can’t spend today, or every day for that matter, together…
So, for you lovebirds, I dedicate this tune. Sorry, Bad Company, the artist formerly known as Kid Rock’s version is better than yours…
Back in 1998, I heard this tune on the radio and had no clue what was being said at the beginning… it went something like, “Bawitdaba da bang a dang diggy diggy diggy…” Made no sense… but then it slowed down and then cranked back up with the artist clearly proclaiming who he was. His name was… KID…. ROCK! That was you! Right?
It was a kick ass tune! I immediately ran out to pick up the CD, “Devil Without a Cause,” and was blown away! It was a mix of hard rock and rap with a twist of southern rock; a perfect mix, in my opinion. I listened to that CD off and on for a while… It actually helped me discover Eminem!
The following year I stumbled across this performance of the above song at the ’99 reincarnation of Woodstock:
Holy shit! Lots of energy there! I was hooked!
In 2000, Kid Rock you had another CD come out, “The History of Rock.”
I liked that one a lot too! Same mix of hard rock and hip hop as “Devil”, but it also included some tunes from your earlier stuff that, honestly, I didn’t even know existed. That material was more rap-rock… but still good!
The best tune off of “History” was, in my opinion, “American Badass.”
That shit makes me wanna fight! That’s the Kid Rock I got hooked on…
Well, in 2001, Kid Rock’s your next CD came out, titled “Cocky.” It was pretty good, but was definitely getting away from your roots and leaning into true country music. I always like the angry stuff on your CDs, but there was very little of it on here.
The big hit on this one was “Picture,” a duet you did with Sheryl Crow. I’ll admit, it’s an amazing song and I really like it… so let’s stick that video on here too!
It gets ugly from here on out…
2003’s release of your self titled album, “Kid Rock” was the one that sounded the least like the real Kid Rock so far. There were a couple good tunes on it, but working with Hank Williams Jr., Kenny Chesney and David Allen Coe really messed your stuff up. Trust me… I like all of those artists, but you are not them, so why try to emulate ’em?
2007’s “Rock n Roll Jesus” was the true transition away from the real Kid Rock and into full on country music.
I’ve got no problem with country music, I like country. It’s just that I don’t wanna hear my country from Kid Rock. Leave that to the country singers!
Listen, Kid Rock Mr. Ritchie, I’m also a fan of Aerosmith, who has been around for over 40 years. Over those years they’ve had several different sounds. A couple weeks ago they released an album that is a nice mix of their sounds over the years.
That’s what you need to do. If ya wanna become a Nashville star, then so be it, but don’t forget where you came from. Dabbling in genres is one thing, but switching altogether? You just might lose your base…
Man… Eminem turned 40 on Wednesday. He certainly doesn’t appear 40, considering all he’s been through. I’m always amazed at how much his music has ‘matured’ over the years… Check it out!
From what I can tell, it was about 15 years ago I stumbled across Eminem. Here’s how it happened:
I heard Kid Rock’s ‘Bawitdaba’ on the radio one day and loved it! I went out that day and picked up his CD, ‘Devil Without a Cause’. I was immediately hooked! The way Kid Rock combined rock and hip hop was fascinating. I listened to that CD for quite some time.
Now… there was a track on that CD titled ‘Fuck Off,’ which ended with a silly sounding rapper, called himself ‘Slim Shady’, who caught my attention. Here was his verse…
Yo, tell the world to hold their breath they’re breathing the wrong air
This planet belongs to me and this hippy with long hair
Two white boys who spike punch and light joints
Hang around drugs, loud music, and like noise
Slim Shady and Brown Trucker another bunch of mother fuckers
Who hate the world as much as each other
And I ain’t leaving this party tonight
Till I see some naked bitches dancin around drunk touchin each other
Rum and Pepsi got your perception of me sketchy
Cause when I stage dive people are scared to catch me
Cause all I do is curse and fuck
So when I do shrooms you all better give me two rooms
Cause I’m fuckin the first one up
So when you see me on your block you better lock your cars
Cause you know I’m losin it when I’m rappin to rock guitars
This is for children who break rules
People that straight fool
And every single teenager that hates school
Fuck Off
I know… that’s not my father’s Neil Diamond… But I liked it… raw, funny, edgy, a bit controversial…
Several months later, I hear about this ‘Slim Shady LP’ that was gettin’ pretty popular. Slim Shady? Why does that sound so familia…. Ohhh it’s the guy from the Kid Rock song… and he had a single out… it was this.
~ My Name Is ~
I was immediately intrigued because he mentioned Dr. Dre, of NWA fame, who I was a huge fan of. But wait… this white rapper, working with Dr. Dre of NWA, NO WAY!
Yeah, a lot of Eminem’s stuff is incredibly funny, but it also crosses into controversial and gets pretty dark at times. That’s pretty good range for a rapper, as most rappers are only good writing about bitches and blunts (note: that IS how he started, though)!
He blew up from his ’99 release of the Slim Shady LP up until he starred in the awesome flick ‘8 Mile’ in ’02, which brought us this single… a fight song of sorts for me… Don’t even tell me this tune doesn’t fire you up when you have a goal you want to achieve…
~ Lose Yourself ~
The next couple years, Eminem released another studio album, ‘Encore,’ and a compilation album, ‘Curtain Call’. A lot of his material was becoming much more mature. Yeah, he still wrote nasty stuff about his ex-wife, Kim, but he also wrote ‘Mockingbird’ to his young daughter Hailie. As a divorcee, this tune has a bit of meaning to me…
~ Mockingbird ~
Unfortunately, behind the scenes, Eminem had been dealing with prescription drug addiction. He considered suicide at times and in 2009 released ‘Relapse,’ which was so terrible it almost made me consider suicide… Just terrible stuff…
But… he bounced back a couple years ago with ‘Recovery,’ which is, in my opinion, his best stuff yet. There’s definitely a better quality to his work when he’s clean.
I leave you with a video that’s not from ‘Recovery’ but instead one he did with Dr. Dre last year. Em and Dre sort of come full circle in this one.
~ I Need A Doctor ~
Oh… and that angelic voice you hear throughout the song? That’s Skylar Grey, my soon-to-be girlfriend!
Last week, the guys at work and I were talking about this new drama coming out next month called ‘Nashville’. The commercials for it are what caught our attention, as it stars the lovely & petite Hayden Panettieri. Hayden captivated audiences around the globe when she played a cheerleader in some movie several years ago. Unfortunately, I think she was under age back then so I won’t post those pictures here.
HOWEVA! She likes to get around in a bikini a lot lately so here’s some Hayden!
Trust me… She’s not angry in this picture this is her seductive look!
And so is this!
Ahhhh! The hand’s blocking the ass! C’mon Hayden!
Some elements of this picture delight and disturb me at the same time. Her ass is delightful, as is the underboob shot. But if you click on the picture for full resolution you’ll notice the disturbing part. She’s crawling towards the crotch of an unknown fella who is sporting a wedding band. Bad Hayden! Did he say “No” to her tongue?
I guess no one will ever know! Anyway, did you guys know that 5’2″ Hayden once dated 6’6″ boxing phenom Wladimir Klitschko?
My sources tell me they broke up because Hayden was starting to break in half!
Okay.. Back to ‘Nashville’. I pointed out to the guys the other star in that show ~ 45 year old Connie Britton, of Friday Night Lights fame!
Isn’t she so adorable? And she does the bikini thing quite nicely as well!
“Pffft! Hey Greg, I thought this post was about country singers and yet you’ve featured two actresses.” SHUT UP! The discussion about ‘Nashville’ is what prompted me to write about country singers.
My all time favorite hot country singer is Shania Twain, even though she’s a canuck!
But man, oh man, is she purdy!
How come her boobs look twice as big in the second picture as they do in the first? I really don’t care!
Another favorite of mine? Gretchen Wilson. She’s party girl hot!
I started looking up some stuff about Carrie Underwood and now I’m wondering if Shania should really top my list. Underwood is insanely hot and extremely talented.
Carrie also sports the bikini well!
Wanna know what’s messed up? When I looked up the above Carrie Underwood video on YouTube, the coinciding advertisement was pimping the latest Taylor Swift release. This:
Holy shit… I don’t think I can ever unhear or unsee that! Just incoherent drivel! Watch the Underwood video and then watch the Swift video. If you don’t agree with me about the HUGE gap in talent you’re like twelve years old!
A lot of Taylor’s songs are basically about lashing out at dudes she dated that dumped her. Maybe, Taylor, if you weren’t such an annoying, talentless psycho you could maintain a relationship!
You know the only reason Jon Mayer didn’t write a song in retaliation of your release of ‘Dear John’… reportedly written about his breakup with you? Because you’re unattractive…
… and his song would’ve been about a relationship with someone who was essentially a thirteen year old little boy, which is a big “No No” in the recording industry! You look like the lead singer of Hanson!
Other notables: Miranda Lambert!
This song and accompanying video concern me a bit. It’s basically about sluts and car thieves. The presence of Danica Patrick makes it that much worse.
Oh hey Kellie Pickler and your huge fake boobs!
Last but definitely not least LeAnn Rimes…
Here are a couple dudes for the ladies and men who like men. Toby Kieth for starters (this one’s for you Diane!)
This is undoubtedly my favorite Toby Keith tune, since I never pursued my dream of protecting my country… though many, many others have.
Shit… Diane you get TWO dudes here. I present the artist formerly known as Kid Rock…
… and the accompanying video.
Here’s one of my Mom’s favorites… Randy Travis.
DAMN it sucks that Randy Travis is such a wreck nowadays.. I hope he gets better… Dude was a fantastic songwriter and great performer. Here’s, in my opinion, one of his best tunes.
“It’s not what you take when you leave this world behind you; It’s what you leave behind you when you go.” ~ Randy Travis
Enjoy the rest of your extended weekend, folks! Especially all you Bernhardt women! I love you all and miss you like crazy!
It’s been a great day thus far. I awoke at about 6:30 this morning to finish writing a blog post to my Dad for Father’s Day.
In case you didn’t know, I’m a father Dad to threewonderfulgirls, so today’s my day I suppose?
Honestly, though, today should technically be a day in which I don’t have my girls. Why? Because every other day is for them… I need my own day! Sounds selfish, doesn’t it? Well, one of my favorite bloggers, Drew Magary of Deadspin.com, had a great post about how Father’s Day should go. I’m totally in agreement. Here’s an excerpt (Drew’s post is satire… he’s a very funny writer and a loving family man, so if you’re offended by his post, or my comments above, you have no sense of humor):
8. No dirty looks when Daddy has had eight beers in the span of 35 minutes. Every Father’s Day, I’m told that I have carte blanche to eat and drink as I please. And what happens? Thirty minutes into my repulsive binge, I get that look from the missus that’s like, “Do you HAVE to drink that much and eat that many ham slices?” And the answer is YES. I do. This is one of my only days to do this (apart from every weekend day, and holidays, and Thursdays), so don’t ruin my good time by telling me that I’m having too much of a good time. NO STRINGS! I WANT NO STRINGS ATTACHED WHEN DRINKING A HANDLE OF JACK IN FRONT OF THE BABY.
HERE is the entire post… you need to check it out!
Anyway, after I was done writing, I fully intended to stay up and clean this townhouse a bit… but then I heard thunderstorms rolling in….
See, thunderstorms have this magical power over me. I’ve always enjoyed them; especially laying in bed, listening to them. There’s this beautiful, wonderful woman I have a “thunderstorm” connection with; in that we both enjoy them just the same. We’ve yet to have an opportunity to share a thunderstorm together… hopefully soon, though!
So I eschewed the whole house cleaning thing and instead returned to bed to listen to the thunderstorms and wish I was with her… and dozed off…
… but was re-awoken a bit later by the sound of not too distant chants… OH THAT’S RIGHT! MITT ROMNEY’S IN TOWN!! He had a campaign stop at Mapleside Farms… almost right across the street from me!
I ran out on my balcony to hear if I could make out the chants…. woo hoo, they were protesters! I had to get on the scene to check it out!
As I was walking towards Mapleside, the chants became more clear: To the tune of Toni Basil’s “Mickey” they sang: Hey Romney.. you’re so rich.. you’re so rich you make me sick.. NO ROMNEY!
Catchy little tune! But, what, you don’t want a rich dude (or woman) running this country? When was the last time that didn’t happen? Heck, I’ve never had a financially challenged employer.. and there’s never been a “poor” president! Look it up…
Then I saw the protesters….
And I got out my red pen…. Romney wants us all working @atmin minimum wage.
YOU DOLT! No… Mitt Romney doesn’t “Want US ALL Working @ Min Wage!” He wants us all to succeed, provide for our families and contribute to our country as necessary! I make more than minimum wage because I’ve always worked hard to become better, in an effort to provide more for my family.
And the “grim reaper” waved at me!
Not really the grim reaper… it’s a mix of a plastic sickle and my oldest daughter’s Haloween costume… when she was 7!
The next chant by the protesters was even more humorous! They carried no tune…. just screamed this one, “WE WANT JOBS… AND WE WANT ‘EM NOW!”
Since I’ve been thirteen years old and got my first real job pimpin’ onion rings at the Cuyahoga County Fair for Larry’s Onion Rings… I’ve only known one way to get a job: by assuming I’m qualified and then applying for that job!
I never thought a good way to get a job was to just demand it! Especially to demand a job from a political candidate, who has a budget based entirely on campaigning and very little on hiring!
And lastly… also screamed was “Pay yo’ taxes!” … to no tune, just high volume! …And dear God was she aggravating! Brookie, however, thought it was hilarious!
Wait…… Pay yo’ ta…. what?
Mitt pays his taxes… to the tune of close to 40% of his income…That’s how it goes…. the top 10% of wage earners pay 60% of the taxes…. while the bottom, almost 40% of workers, pay close to nothing… or even get a refund from “the rich”.
Unfortunately, the screaming protesters scurried away when the rain returned. It’s amusing how a little rain can quell some extremely convicted voices…
As expected… it was a peaceful event. There was definitely some creativity…
Wait…. the 99% drives Cadillac Escalades?
There was an incredible turnout… maybe a few thousand supporters vs. a dozen maniacal protesters..
Regardless of political affiliation, it’s nice to see a major political candidate make a stop here. Brunswick has been in the national spotlight the last couple weeks for all the wrong reasons. It’s comforting to see some good come through this little town…
…and to a location owned and managed by good people who, in the last 18 months, have created a nice little bight spot where people go to have fun.
As I walked away, I heard Mitt’s intro music begin… it was this nice little song by Bob Ritchie (the artist formerly known as Kid Rock)…
Were I a candidate… I’d have opened with actual Kid Rock music and encouraged a mosh pit… which is why I’ll never be able to run for office!
Now if I only could’ve gotten Mitt to come across the street, drink a few beers and watch some NASCAR with me…. Then he’d have my vote!
For Shiggles 