Monday Moanin’ ~ Ravens 23 @ Browns 21…

Aw shucks, we’re 1-2 now. I’m trying to be positive, but it’s difficult. We’re a couple plays away from being 3-0! We’re also prolly one play away from being 0-3, so there’s that.

Dammit!

I have to admit that these first three games, save for the horrible first half against Pittsburgh, have been more fun to watch than previous young Browns teams with new coaching staffs running a new offense! It’s no less aggravating, though.

I feel horrible for passing my love for the Browns on to my children. I noticed earlier today that my fourteen year old daughter was live Tweeting the game yesterday…

… (click on the pic to embiggen) a young girl shouldn’t have to be stressed out like that about a football game!

As for yesterday’s game? Browns QB Hoyer looked pretty damn good!

…dude went 19 of 25 for 290 yards and a TD! He’s thrown no picks this year… had a lot of zip on his passes and much more accuracy. I believe he has what it takes to make this Browns team a force in this league.

Our running game was a bit subdued yesterday, however. 29 of 55 plays were running plays, which is good. Badass RB Isaiah Crowell only got 11 touches for 55 yards. He needs to get the bulk of the carries, in my opinion!

Crowell sees a hole and goes right for it with little or no hesitation. Dude can taste the endzone every time he has a chance. He needs more shots!

Special teams really fucked us this week… Bad decisions on punt returns (I’m talking to you Travis Benjamin) and shitty field goal kicking/blocking ultimately did us in.

The defense gave up some plays. I’m concerned about future hall of fame shutdown corner Joe Fucking Haden. He’s getting burned every week and I don’t like that at all!

At least we’re off this week, so no pain & suffering for me!

Go Browns!

Kinda Freakin’ Out about Today’s Game ~ Ravens @ Browns!

Nice left arm asshole… perfect weapon for knocking out women.

Man… I hate the Ravens almost as much as the Steelers. Almost. My Dad raised me to despise the Steelers, so it’s in my blood.

I started hating the Ravens in 1996 when their existence began! Yeah, Cleveland Browns owner, Art Modell, shut my beloved Browns team down in 1995 and moved them to Baltimore where they became the Ravens… Makes me ill just thinking about it.

It’s getting even easier to hate this Ravens team nowadays after RB Ray Rice beat the shit out of his fiancee as a big HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY this past February!

“But, Greg, it’s not the team’s fault Rice knocked out Janay.” Of course the team had nothing to do with her getting knocked out and dragged out of an elevator. Go HERE to read the entire timeline of events and how the Ravens organization AND the National Fucking Football League, at most, covered up a lot of this and, at the very least, turned a blind eye to it.

I haven’t chimed in yet with my thoughts about the NFL’s handling of this Ray Rice situation. Or Greg Hardy.Or Ray McDonald. Or Jonathan Dwyer. Or Adrian Peterson beating the shit outta his four year old son.

I guess now is as good a time as any to throw some thoughts out there.

For starters… WHAT THE FUCK GUYS? You don’t hit women. Period. I don’t care if you’re provoked or not. You just DON’T do that shit.

This stuff goes both ways! Women shouldn’t hit men either… provoked or not! I couldn’t care less if he’s bigger and stronger than you, you just don’t!

And Adrian Peterson, ya don’t beat your damn kids until they bleed. Period. I don’t give a shit HOW you were raised and what culture you grew up in. You’re a fuckin’ idiot. Ray Rice knocked out a 100 pound woman and that’s horrible. You beat up children you pussy and that makes you even worse.

Please don’t clump all NFL players into this group of assholes folks. Every week, 1,696 players suit up. Only a handful are idiots…

Domestic violence is not an NFL problem, it’s a problem overall throughout society.

Outside of the NFL there are laws and procedures meant to protect victims of abuse, should it get reported to the authorities.

The NFL has the difficult task of somehow balancing local laws and punishment with league punishment for domestic violence. They’ve failed miserably thus far and it’s been quite an embarrassment to say the least.

I think it’s pretty simple. Under the leagues new drug policy, a DUI arrest doesn’t trigger a league punishment, but a CONVICTION does; costs a player 2 games. I believe if a player is accused or arrested for domestic violence the league should let the authorities and the courts do their jobs. Once there’s a CONVICTION the league can then drop the hammer however they see fit.

What I hope will be an embarrassment to the Ravens today will be a pitiful loss to the Browns!

This Browns team looks like it has what it takes to win 8, maybe even 10, games this year!

The defense is fast and strong. Ravens QB, Joe Flacco, doesn’t have the mobility like Saints QB Drew Brees from last week who we rattled the shit out of! I can see us sacking him 4 times tomorrow.

Dude has a powerful arm, however, so he can burn us bad with a couple top notch receivers in Torrey Smith and Steve Smith! At least those guys aren’t 12 feet tall like Saints TE Jimmy Graham who just kicked our asses last week!

I remain a little concerned about the offense. The running game still looks great, but Baltimore has a pretty decent run D, allowing an average 89 yards in the first 2 games.

It’s Cleveland’s passing game that still has me scared. It was pretty effective last week but I’m just waiting for shit to fall apart with these tiny WRs. Yeah, big TE Jordan Cameron may play today, though I haven’t confirmed that yet, but I don’t think his shoulder is 100% so he could be a non factor.

A lot of people continue to point out that Browns QB Hoyer was a “career backup” before coming to the Browns. He was. But for three years he played behind Patriots QB Tom Brady. I think he learned a lot there and I believe that’s why he seems so calm under pressure.

He’s been playing pretty well ~ let’s hope that continues in a little bit!

GO BROWNS!

Monday Moanin’ ~ Saints 24 @ Browns 26

Nothing to complain about here! Woo hoo! The Browns have now played 6 consecutive quarters of competitive, fun to watch football! That’s a big deal for us Browns fans!

If they knew what they were doing for the first half last week at Pittsburgh, this team would now be 2-0!

Browns coach Mike Pettine showed he wasn’t messing around yesterday when he deferred to kick off to the Saints after winning the coin toss!

The defense came out and manhandled the Saints and their “high powered offense” led by Drew Brees.

The Saints had possession 3 times in the first quarter totaling 5:44. They punted all three times, only got one first down and had 9 total yards! Oh yeah that’s high powered alright!

Actually the Browns defense was dominant. LB Karlos Dansby, at 32 years old, was on fire! Dude was all over the field making plays!

It wasn’t just Dansby, however. The defense tackled well most of the time. They put constant pressure on Brees, oftentimes only sending four while dropping seven!

And the offense? I mentioned yesterday they needed to stay on the field for longer than 95 seconds at a time to keep that defense rested. Their average time over 9 drives was just over 3 minutes… that makes a huge difference with these big defenders.

QB Hoyer the Destroyer looked pretty okay all day! Yeah, he had some errant throws here and there. I believe that can be corrected, though! It’s his confidence and calmness that impressed me the most. That, and the fact he didn’t commit any turnovers. I like that a lot!

Obviously, Hoyer didn’t do it all on his own. The entire offense stepped up! Hoyer distributed the ball to 8 different receivers for 204 yards on 24 catches, one was a TD to WR Miles Austin. Tiny WR Andrew Hawkins caught 6 of ’em for 70 yards!

Our RBs still look like studs! Terrance West ran for 68 yards on 19 carries, one was a TD; Isaiah Crowell covered 54 yards on 11 touches.

I REALLY like Crowell… dude looks like he’s been shot out of a cannon.

I’d like to see him with even more carries!

Oh yeah… Johnny Fucking Football Clipboard made an appearance… for 3 whole plays. He handed it off twice and actually threw a pretty nice pass after he did his stupid run around in the backfield shit. It was incomplete to FB Ray Agnew who got blasted and dropped the ball.

Lots of people are saying Manziel got the nod because Hoyer was struggling.  I dunno if that’s the case or not. I do know that Hoyer looked a bit sharper after the little douchebag went back to the bench. Who knows?

WE WON!

It’s easy as a Browns fan to get overexcited after just one win, so I’m gonna remain calm for now.

The 1-1 Ravens are coming to town Sunday. That’ll be a huge test for this team.

I’m still a bit confident!

GO BROWNS!

Kinda Freakin’ Out about Today’s Game… Saints @ Browns!

Holy shit… for the entire first half of last week’s game at Pittsburgh the Browns, offense and defense, looked like a bunch of dogshit. Actually, they looked like…

…It was a team effort in failure, at least for the first half.

Second half? A different team emerged. QB Hoyer looked great in the no huddle offense, our nameless WRs looked fantastic, the rookie running backs Terrance West and Isaiah Crowell looked like studs!

We climbed from 27-3 at the half to 27-27, but then lost it all by a last second field goal.

I damn near turned that game off at halftime. Glad I didn’t though, because the second half Browns looked pretty damn exciting.

Is that the team that will show up for today’s home opener against the New Orleans Saints?

Damn I hope so!!

The Saints are coming off a week one loss to the Falcons in which Falcons’ QB Matt Ryan shredded them for 448 yards and 3 TDs! They’re gonna be pissed and motivated to take that shit out on the lowly Browns.

Maybe Browns QB Hoyer the Destroyer can come out and throw for 300 yards and a couple TDs against that defense?

Our offense NEEDS to stay on the field longer. The defense collapsed last week after the offense began to string together 3 and outs… The average offensive drive in the first half after our field goal scoring one was 95 seconds! A minute and a half was all the rest our defense was allowed. We’ve got a top 3 defense when rested and supported by a competent offense!

I’m actually a little bit confident today. I know, that’s scary right? I think we have a legitimate shot at this Saints team!

GO BROWNS!

Public Humiliation Diet ~ Round 2, Day 22! WTF??

Well so much for the no smoking thing! I failed at that rather quickly. Made it 3 days and then failed miserably! I’m gonna try again here soon, just gotta stick to it. I think instead of just quitting altogether, I’m gonna wean myself off over a week or two.

See, when I stopped smoking I became incredibly hungry, all the fucking time. I’d be snacking constantly at work: fishy crackers, pretzels or peanuts… all freakin’ day!

I refuse to use “stop smoking aids” like nicotine gum or patches, ’cause the damn nicotine remains in your system throughout the process. Last time I quit somewhat successfully (for an entire year!), I relied merely on Stride gum to snuff out the cravings. That will be the plan next time around! Soon folks!

OH! Like I said I was gonna do, I renewed my gym membership so I could go up there with my oldest daughter, Alexis, and start working out! Been there 5 times since last Saturday and I fuckin’ love it! We’ve got three specific workouts we do. Biceps/back, shoulders/legs and triceps/chest! That’s our minimum for 3 days a week. Alexis made me do some ab and oblique work and holy shit am I weak in the midsection! I told her that’s obviously where I need the most help! I don’t believe I’ve seen my abs since I was 13. Be nice to eventually see them after all these years!

I know… ya ain’t gonna see your abs unless ya do a shit ton of cardio. I’m working on that, too, folks! I’ve been on that damn treadmill every day since we last spoke; anywhere from 20 to 40 minutes a day!

Cardio is brutally boring! Just stare at the wall or the treadmill display while working out! I guess I could get outside and run so there’s some scenery, but fuck that! I spent $1300 on a treadmill and I’m gonna get my money’s worth out of it! I picked up a little 19″ TV and hung it up on the wall in front of the treadmill today! BOOM: Scenery! I can now go for hours on that thing while watching TV!

As far as weight loss goes, I’ve gone backwards folks! Last week I weighed in at 202 pounds and was hoping to be under the 200 mark this week but NOPE!

After a week and a half of cardio, weightlifting, work, chicken breasts, protein shakes and turkey sandwiches on 12 grain bread I weighed in at 206 pounds this morning. I GAINED 4 pounds while hoping to lose. What the fuck? There’s no way I gained that much muscle after only 5 trips to the gym!

Whatever! I’m gonna keep doing what I’ve been doing and I have to imagine the weight will come off eventually!

Related Posts:

Day 12 ~ 202 Lbs.

Reboot ~ 210 Lbs.

Day 298 ~ 173 Lbs. Mission Accomplished!

Day 235 ~ 182 Lbs.

Day 192 ~ 187 Lbs.

Day 162 ~ 193 Lbs

Day 143 ~ 197 Lbs.

Day 125 ~ 200 Lbs. WOO HOO!

Day 113 ~ 204 Lbs.

Day 25 ~ 220 Lbs. via pizza rolls…

Day 5 ~ 225.4 Lbs. The nutrition plan…

Day 3 ~ 231.8 Lbs. WTF??

Day One ~ And so it begins ~ 231 Lbs.

Already Freaking Out about Tomorrow ~ Browns @ Steelers!

Oh man… Freakin’ Steelers week really has to be week 1? I’m not ready for these fools! It’s been 650 days since we’ve beat Pittsburgh and 3,989 days since we beat them AT Heinz Field. Browns/Steelers used to be a rivalry. It ain’t any more and hasn’t been since the Browns returned to the NFL in 1999.

I ain’t ready for this Browns season to be quite honest.

I’m not comfortable with the offense. QB Brian Hoyer is a big question mark. Yeah, he looked pretty good for two games last year… ’til he tore his ACL. I’m worried that his knee isn’t 100%. QB2 Johnny Manziel is a little jackass who doesn’t understand the NFL game because he hangs out with Justin Bieber during his study time. WR Josh Gordon is now working for a car dealership because he can’t stop smoking weed.

The rest of our WRs are tiny little fuckers. It was pointed out to me the other day that our damn kicker, Billy Cundiff, is bigger than most of our WRs! Oh they may be fast, but tiny guys get jammed at the line of scrimmage, which disrupts play timing… and little guys get hurt easily.

We appear to have some bad ass running backs, but if Pittsburgh keys on our running game and dares Hoyer to throw the ball to a bunch of disoriented midget receivers, we’re fucked!

The ONLY confidence I have in this team right now lies in the defense. Realistically, our defense has been tough for years. Just looking at the stats would say otherwise, but when an offense can’t stay on the field for more than 3 downs, or score points, any defense will get tired. That has been our problem.

I believe this defense can contain Pittsburgh’s rapist QB Roethlisberger. The line is big and fast.  LBs can provide a nice pass rush AND cover the middle of the field. The DBs, led by future Hall of Fame shut down CB Joe Haden are solid.

Again… pass rush will be key in keeping our DBs from getting burned; not just tomorrow but all season!

I wish I was more positive going into this season. Unfortunately, I haven’t seen anything in training camp, or during the preseason, from this team that got me the least bit excited.

Man I hope that changes tomorrow, ’cause otherwise this is gonna be a really long season.

GO BROWNS!

Public Humiliation Diet ~ Round 2, Day 12!

Damn it’s hard to get on that treadmill, especially after it starts going! Honestly, I’ve only been on it 3 times since I started this “get in shape” thing and I’m up to a pretty brisk walk; uphill, however!

My oldest daughter is inspiring me quite a bit. See, she plays rugby and it’s conditioning time for her to get ready for the season. One night, she got on the treadmill and ran what appeared to be a pretty effortless 10 minute mile. I said, “I’m gonna try that tomorrow!” Her response? “Good luck with that…”

The following night, she upped the ante to an 8 1/2 minute mile.

I prolly sound like a pussy, but I haven’t attempted to run a mile yet. I’m still comfortable cranking up the incline and walking that shit. I’ll incline it between 8-10% and play with the speed here and there. Ha! Down to the 17-18 minute range the last couple times.

My biggest problem, and the reason my kid says, “Good luck with that,” is that I smoke and there’s no way I’m gonna make any real cardio progress while continuing to do so. I smoked my last cigarette, for the time being at least, at 11:16 am on September 2nd. As I’m writing this, I’ve been 36 hours smoke free and I’m going freakin’ crazy. That’s halfway, though, folks! If I can make it to lunchtime tomorrow, I’ll have passed the 72 hour barrier, meaning all the nicotine will be out of my system and the rest of it will be breaking the mental habit!

Keep your fingers crossed!

My kid also goes to the local gym, by herself, to lift weights. She has inspired me to renew my membership so we can work out together. I think she half asses her workouts and needs a bit more guidance to target muscle groups correctly. I know how to do this, so we’ll help each other out!

From a food standpoint, I’ve just been eating smaller portions right now. I need to hit the store to pick up some stuff to get the protein train rolling; prolly lots of chicken breasts!

I’ve been eating a lot of oatmeal, too, just because it’s low in calories, high in carbs for energy and quite filling. Gotta pick up some fruits to add to it so it doesn’t taste like wallpaper glue!

That’s about it for now…

This morning’s weigh in? 202 pounds.

I’m pretty impressed with that since this past Sunday I ate a ton of food at the fantasy football draft party! There was my award winning chili, beer, stuffed hot peppers, homemade pizza, beer, wings, some kind of healthy looking shish kabobs, beer, buffalo chicken dip, beer and meatloaf.

Needless to say, I pooped a lot Monday.

Related Posts:

Reboot ~ 210 Lbs.

Day 298 ~ 173 Lbs. Mission Accomplished!

Day 235 ~ 182 Lbs.

Day 192 ~ 187 Lbs.

Day 162 ~ 193 Lbs

Day 143 ~ 197 Lbs.

Day 125 ~ 200 Lbs. WOO HOO!

Day 113 ~ 204 Lbs.

Day 25 ~ 220 Lbs. via pizza rolls…

Day 5 ~ 225.4 Lbs. The nutrition plan…

Day 3 ~ 231.8 Lbs. WTF??

Day One ~ And so it begins ~ 231 Lbs.