My Blog is Too Sexy

As of right now, I have 100,505 views of this little blog ~ in just under ten months. Compared to real blogs, I’m certain that’s not a lot of traffic. However, it’s a lot of traffic to me!

It appears as though I’ve written my blog into a corner… But what a sexy corner it is! See, a whopping 80% of my “readers” arrive here after searching for pictures on Google. What, or who, are they searching for, you ask? Here are the top ten search terms people typed in to Google and found forshiggles (I attached the corresponding pics):

Kate Upton

Sofia Vergara

Adam Levine

Kim Kardashian

It’s funny… This is the only picture I’ve put up of Kim. I personally think her ass is gross; but it comes in at number four of all time…

Jessica Biel ass

Courtney Force

On the right….C’mon now! she’s a race car driver!

Jennie Finch

Erika Eleniak

Kate Upton boobs

Heather Kozar

Can you believe, for all the yapping I do about Danica Patrick, she comes in at number eighteen? Shocking!

It’s obvious that very few people come here for my writing. I’m an okay writer, I guess. Perhaps I need to diversify a bit more.

I am grateful that a lot of people found this blog by searching Hurler’s Syndrome. They then moved on to my friend’s site that details the struggles his family endures  while his twin boys battle this terrible genetic disorder. Did they donate money? I dunno… I sure hope someone did!

I also got a lot of traffic from people searching for the names of the four Brunswick children killed in the horrible accident on June 3rd of this year. I asked for help. A lot of people clicked over to the site that, at the time, was selling t-shirts to raise money for the families. Did they buy a shirt, or donate, to help out. Again, I dunno… I can only hope.

It’s 5:00 am and I need to get some sleep. It’s sort of funny, some of the big time bloggers I read talk about writing while in their underwear. This is the first time I’ve done it and, ya know what, it’s quite wonderful! I should do it more often!

Always remember…. Hug your children and love them every day…

Dear God ~ You Poor Rodent!

“My anaconda don’t want none… Unless you’ve got buns, hun..”

I regularly read this football blog that is called Kissing Suzy Kolber. Go ahead and Google “Joe Namath and Suzy Kolber” to find out where their website name was derived from. It’s quite humorous!

Since it’s the NFL’s off season they do regular posts, unrelated to football, to keep their viewership up. One of those regular posts is called Kill Kill Kill and features animals eating other animals or, more horrifically, animals eating humans (I refuse to link to that).

Aside from the aforementioned “animals eating humans”, the latest KSK Kill Kill Kill post bothered me greatly.

It features a freakin’ 1/4 mile long anaconda stalking, and eventually ingesting, a capybara. I guess a capybara is a big ass 100 pound mouse? Or just a rodent? I dunno… I DO know that some of the footage in the video shows a huge snake just slithering around… and it’s TERRIFYING!

If I were anywhere within 50 yards of a snake that big, I couldn’t shit my pants quick enough before running away…

See for yourself…. the thing is scary as hell on land, under water… it doesn’t matter! It’s like a Navy S.E.A.L. without the Navy or the S.E.A.L.

Oh how my mind wanders… I mention Navy S.E.A.L., think movie… and all of the sudden, “Under Siege”, starring Steven Seagal pops into my head… However, Seagal doesn’t pop up…. but the girl who jumps out of the birthday cake… Erika Eleniak… “pops up”! Like this:

Then I find this….

Love your children and hug them every day.