Monday… er… Friday Moanin’ ~ Week Four ~ Browns 16 @ Ravens 23

Ugh…. 0-4… Bring on the freakin’ Giants in 9 days..

I’ll tell ya what, I really thought Baltimore was gonna destroy us, but that was a pretty entertaining game! Thank God we had official officials, so I didn’t have to worry about anyone trying to place the ball on the 65 yardline!

Yeah, Flacco fired the ball to move the chains at will, and Anquan Boldin… he was on fire! I DREAM of us someday having a WR like that. Instead, we’re stuck with…

Greg freakin’ Little. I don’t care if the ball was thrown high or the rain was wet. You jumped way up in the air so it could go RIGHT THROUGH YOUR HANDS! You jackass. You’re a big waste of athleticism. And your hair looks stupid with your fauxhawk or mohawk or whatever. I wish Ray Lewis would’ve just put you out of our misery and stabbed you after the game!

And it looked like the Browns were gonna use Josh Cribbs more on the offense; at least it appeared that way early on…

… until he died returning a punt. R.I.P. buddy. I’ll never forget your… JUST KIDDING. He’s fine. He actually walked off the field after he regained consciousness.

There were some bright spots, however. Brandon Weeden looked really good again. He made some rookie mistakes and I’m fine with that. The people who keep spouting off about Colt McCoy potentially playing better than Weeden must have been concussed at some point since last season. Go look at his stats! He went 6-15 as a starter… Most of his wins featured a heavy dose of Peyton Hillis running the ball.

Speaking of running the ball… Why doesn’t Cleveland try to run the ball more? Seriously… we trade some draft picks to move up and grab Trent Richardson at #3 in Aprils draft. He’s a beast! A freak of nature…

… and yet he only got 14 carries last night? That’s bullshit! He should be getting 25 carries a game; and not that up the middle shit… sweeps and screens… get him in space already. He will kick ass!

Alright… sorry, I’m getting bitchy again. Another bright spot?

Linebacker Craig Robertson…

Here he is picking off Flacco…

That kid was all over the field last night! He’s gonna be a stud!

Another one of my personal favorites? Rookie WR Travis Benjamin out of the University of Miami….

He’s scary fast and with a little experience he’s gonna become a serious threat. Unfortunately, he’s not being utilized correctly by the coaches. Stick him in the slot and let him gash defenses across the middle..

Anyway… I expect coach Shurmer to get the boot after Jimmy Haslam III takes over ownership of the team in a couple weeks…

The play calling has been terrible and predictable; and to only run Trent Richardson 14 times out of 70 offensive plays is ridiculous. There needs to be more of a balance with the pass/run game and Shurmer can’t figure it out…

Haslam wants a winning team, and so do us Browns fans. He’s gonna make it happen! I hate to rebuild…again… but it’s critically necessary and Haslam is just the man to do it!

GO BROWNS!!!

Hug your children and love them every day…

Previous weeks:

Week 3: Bills 24 ~ Browns 14 – All around problems.

Week 2: Bengals 34 ~ Browns 27 – Our Special teams are dawgshit.

Week 1: Eagles 17 ~ Browns 16 – The sickly debut of Brandon Weeden.

Already Freakin’ Out about Tomorrow Night ~ Week Four ~ Browns @ Ravens

My pregame thoughts:

Sunday night, the Ravens squeaked by the Patriots with a game winning field goal. In week one, however, they destroyed the Bengals who, by most accounts, appears to be a pretty good team.

Here are my major concerns…

Baltimore’s Ray Lewis ~ Dude’s 37 years old and has the motor of a 22 year old! He’s brilliant! He runs the Ravens’ defense like a well oiled machine. And Cleveland’s future Hall of Fame RB, Trent Richardson, had a little bit to say about Lewis:

It’s a mind-set thing with me, I’m not saying that Ray Lewis ain’t going to take me out, because when it comes down to it we’re going to have to see each other in the hole. And I love Uncle Ray to death and he’s going to bring me all the contact he can and beat me up in the hole, but why would you stand down in front of that?

Not to be cocky or talking mess, but if you’re an athlete or you’re a competitor, why would you stand down for anybody? I know Ray Lewis is going to come at me and I’m going to come right back at him. That’s just football. He knows what football’s about and I know what football’s about, we’ve been playing it for years. Both of us are going to give all we can.

Shit, Trent, you know Lewis has your quotes hanging up in his locker! I fear he’s gonna break your collarbone. But what if you light him up? Break his damn collarbone! That would make my night!

Also, Ray Lewis has a fancy little dance that I enjoy quite a bit:

Baltimore’s Ed Reed ~ Reed is a ball hawking safety who scares the hell out of me with Browns’ WRs Josh Gordon running terrible routes and Greg Little letting the ball doink off his helmet for anyone else to catch. Here’s Ed Reed:

…and here’s Grady Wilson from Sanford and Son (I saw the comparison on a website that I cannot remember):

Just sayin’….

Baltimore’s Ray Rice ~ Dude’s an awesome RB against good defenses. Running against Cleveland? Who experiences difficulties against the run? He could break records tomorrow night! Shit…

Baltimore’s Offense ~ That no-huddle shit they run is aggravating. If we can’t sub players out we might get burned. Bad. By…

Baltimore’s Torrey Smith ~ His brother died not too long before the Ravens’ Sunday night game. He had an awesome game. I expect him to be pretty fired up tomorrow night…

Browns Coach Shurmer ~ I believe you’re a lame duck coach. Get feisty and try to call some real plays to win this game. Involve Joshua Cribbs as a WR in the offense for more than one play… Run T-Rich at least 20 times. Spread the field with Weeden in the shotgun and 4 WRs (do we have 4 WRs?). Shit…

The Replacement Refs ~ From what I’m hearing, it sounds like the NFL will be reaching an agreement with their regular refs real soon. Tomorrow is your night to shine! And by ‘shine’ I mean don’t screw up. And if you do screw up, make sure it’s in the Browns’ favor. I’ll take a win any way we can get it!

EXCITING UPDATE: The league reached a tentative agreement with the regular officials!!! We’ll have the “official” officials tonight in Baltimore. Know what that means? The Browns will screw this one up all on their own! Here’s a humorous video I found:

GO BROWNS!

Hug your children and love them every day…

Monday Moanin’ ~ Week Three ~ Bills 24 @ Browns 14

 

Woo hoo! We’re 0-3 now, and based on our upcoming schedule I don’t see us winning a game soon. 

Just started re-watching the game and it pissed me off. NOTE TO SELF: Don’t watch plays in slow motion…

I saw offensive linemen (I’m talking to you, Mitchell Schwartz) totally miss blocking assignments. I saw my boy, DE Jabaal Sheard, looking totally lost and out of position to tackle C.J. Spiller or rush Fitzpatrick.

I saw future Hall of Famer, Trent Richardson, hesitate and dance instead of attacking the hole. Dude’s got two kids… he clearly knows how to find the hole!

I know the Browns have their work cut out for them, with all the first and second year players on the roster, but I gotta bring up the replacement officials, if only because of one play that pissed me off…

A few plays prior to Buffalo’s first TD, they were sitting at 3rd and 8. Buffalo WR Steve Johnson CLEARLY pushed off Cleveland’s old man Sheldon Brown on a comeback route; with a ref standing there staring just 8 yards away. That non call got Buffalo a first down; they went on to score, instead of them repeating third down with a 10 yard penalty.

Greg Little continues to be terrible, dropping routine passes. I want to kick his ass, but fear I’ll lose that fight. Maybe if I dressed up like a football and attacked him I’d have a chance, because he definitely wouldn’t get his hands on me then! ZING motherfucker!

Weeden still looks okay. No QB is gonna complete all of his passes and, as a rookie, he’s been off target at times. But the dropped passes have to stop! Outside of that, I believe Weeden will clean up his game. Again… he’s a rookie.

I could continue to complain all over this page, because I’m a Browns fan and that’s what we do. But I won’t.

Here’s what I want to see from the Brownies:

• More Josh Cribbs on offense! Even though he’s lost a step, he’s a baller. His special teams play remains strong… but get his hands on the ball some more on offense!
• This comes from my buddy Brent The Voice: Put Weeden in shotgun with a 4 WR set. Spread the field. Stick Richardson back there to block  or release and tear some shit up! It works for other teams!
• Quit calling Richardson’s number up the middle! Until we develop a passing game that shit ain’t gonna work. If y’all can get Richardson in space… he’s gonna get hot!
• Richardson needs to touch the ball at least 20 times a game. Twelve touches? Asinine!
• Rush the passer, defense!

Now… in 73 hours, Cleveland’s got Baltimore. At Baltimore. I’m scared shitless! Damn… I hate being a Browns fan… BUT…

GO BROWNS!!!

Hug your children and love them every day…

Previous weeks:

Week 2: Bengals 34 ~ Browns 27 – Our Special teams are dawgshit.

Week 1: Eagles 17 ~ Browns 16 – The sickly debut of Brandon Weeden.

Already Freakin’ Out about Tomorrow ~ Week Three ~ Bills @ Browns

My pregame thoughts:

Last week, the Bills embarrassed the Chiefs; as C.J Spiller tore shit up and ran like a madman! The week before, however, the Jets beat the snot out of the Bills. I have no clue which Bills team is coming to Cleveland tomorrow…

Here are my major concerns…

C.J. Spiller ~ Spiller only had 15 carries against the Chiefs; but for 123 yards and 2 TDs. The Chiefs suck balls, though, so I’m sort of confident the Brownies will be able to contain him…

Cleveland’s Defensive Backfield ~ I’m afraid if we stack the box to stop Spiller, we’ll become vulnerable to the big play action pass play…

Steve Johnson ~ Dude might just be wide open because of my above concern; and since Joe Haden is serving the second week of his four game suspension for rape fighting dogs getting arrested 9 times like Kenny Britt without a suspension taking Adderall.

Buffalo’s Defensive Line ~ Anchored by Mario Williams, the Bills’ D-Line is gonna give Cleveland quite a challenge.

Brandon Weeden ~ QB1 remains a concern, for me at least. He looked lost and scared in week 1, but bounced back pretty nicely in week 2. I hope week 2 Weeden shows up tomorrow!

The Browns Fans ~ Y’all are douchebags… QB2 is terrible! Lighten up and enjoy the game you idiots!

The Bills Fans ~ Y’all are douchebags… lighten up and enjoy the game you idiots! I’m a bit concerned about Chad Wide Right, Mike el Presidente, the other Mike That Loud Fucker and the other nine Bills fans going to the game tomorrow together… to tailgate… You Buffalo people are mouthy and obnoxious, just like us Browns fans! Problem is… you guys can’t just let it go! 71,000 people are gonna start the “AAAAsssshole, aaaaassshhole” chant and you’re gonna pick a fight with each and every one of ’em! Let it go, you chili-without-beans-eating whiners! You will lose and so will your Bills!

GO BROWNS!

Hug your children and love them every day…

I’m Still Stuck on Music ~ Guns N’ Roses Now!

Holy shit! It was brought to my attention earlier that Guns N’ Roses released the double album ‘Use Your Illusion’ like 21 years ago.

Y’all will never hear me callin’ myself old but, dammit, I had that shit on cassette! THE DAY IT CAME OUT!

G N’ R is one of those acts I’ve always wanted to see but, obviously, never will… Because Axl Rose is a douchebag… or Slash is… depends on who you ask. If those dudes could’ve stayed together, the original band, they prolly would’ve been the biggest band in the history of bands!

I remember hearing ‘Welcome to the Jungle’ for the first time, I think I was 14 back then, and it blew my mind! It made me want to punch shit; anything within reach. That hasn’t changed! Consider the top ten songs for 1987 and it’s easy to figure out why G N’ R was on to something:

1. “Faith”…..George Michael

2. “Alone”…..Heart

3. “I Wanna Dance With Somebody (Who Loves Me)” …..Whitney Houston

4. “C’est la Vie”…..Robbie Nevil

5. “Shake You Down”…..Gregory Abbott

6. “La Bamba”…..Los Lobos

7. “Livin’ On A Prayer”…..Bon Jovi

8. “Here I Go Again”…..Whitesnake

9. “Heaven Is A Place On Earth”…..Belinda Carlisle

10. “(I’ve Had) The Time Of My Life”…..Bill Medley & Jennifer Warnes

Dear GOD!!! That’s a puke fest of music right there with the exception of Whitesnake, of course! I also thought Belinda Carlisle was hot but, again, I was 14 so pretty much anything worked for me!

Anyway… G N’ R’s ‘Appetite for Destruction’ was awesome, in my opinion. Then they came out with ‘Lies’ the following year and it was okay.

‘Use Your Illusion’, however, released in 1991, was a fuckin’ home run! And my favorite tune on that double release? Coma! I think Coma is not only one of G N’R’s best tunes, but one of the best tunes EVAHHH! You may not agree, but that doesn’t matter! Check it out!

~ Coma ~

Hey you caught me in a coma
And I don’t think I wanna
Ever come back to this…world again
Kinda like it in a coma
‘Cause no one’s ever gonna
Oh, make me come back to this…
world again

Now I feel as if I’m floating away
I can’t feel all the pressure
And I like it this way
But my body’s callin’
My body’s callin’

Won’t ya come back to this…
world again
Suspended deep in a sea of black
I’ve got the light at the end
I’ve got the bones on the mast
Well I’ve gone sailin’,
I’ve gone sailin’

I could leave so easily
While friends are calling back to me
I said they’re
They’re leaving it all up to me
When all I needed was clarity
And someone to tell me
WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON
GODDAMN IT!

Slippin’ farther an farther away
It’s a miracle how long we can stay
In a world our minds created
In a world that’s full of shit

HELP ME
HELP ME
HELP ME
HELP ME
BASTARD

Please understand me
I’m climbin’ through the wreckage
Of all my twisted dreams
But this cheap investigation just
Can’t stifle all my screams
And I’m waitin’ at the crossroads
Waiting for you
Waiting for you
WHERE ARE YOU

No one’s gonna bother me anymore
No one’s gonna mess with my head no more
I can’t understand what all the fightin’s for
But it’s so nice here down off the shore
I wish you could see this
‘Cause there’s nothing to see
It’s peaceful here and it’s fine with me
Not like the world where I used to live
I NEVER REALLY WANTED TO LIVE

ZAP HIM AGAIN

ZAP THE SON OF A BITCH AGAIN

Ya live your life like it’s a coma
So won’t you tell me why we’d wanna
With all the reasons you give it’s
It’s kinda hard to believe
But who am I to tell you that I’ve
Seen any reason why you should stay
Maybe we’d be better off
Without you anyway
You got a one way ticket
On your last chance ride
Gotta one way ticket
To your suicide
Gotta one way ticket
An there’s no way out alive
An all this crass communication
That has left you in the cold
Isn’t much for consolation
When you feel so weak and old
But if home is where the heart is
Then there’s stories to be told
No you don’t need a doctor
No one else can heal your soul

Got your mind in submission
Got your life on the line
But nobody pulled the trigger
They just stepped aside
They be down by the water
While you watch ’em waving goodbye
They be callin’ in the morning
They be hangin’ on the phone
They be waiting for an answer
When you know nobody’s home
And when the bell’s stopped ringing
It was nobody’s fault but your own
There were always ample warnings
There were always subtle signs
And you would have seen it comin’
But we gave you too much time
And when you said
That no one’s listening
Why’d your best friend drop a dime
Sometimes we get so tired of waiting
For a way to spend our time
An “It’s so easy” to be social
“It’s so easy” to be cool
Yeah it’s easy to be hungry
When you ain’t got shit to lose
And I wish that I could help you
With what you hope to find
But I’m still out here waiting
Watching reruns of my life
When you reach the point of breaking
Know it’s gonna take some time
To heal the broken memories
That another man would need
Just to survive

JESUS! That’s music porn right there! Check out the LIVE video below.. it’s 9 minutes and 38 seconds of pure perfection!

Hug your children and love them every day…

Monday Moanin’ ~ Week Two ~ Browns @ Bengals

A bunch of us watched the games yesterday at Chad’s Wide Right’s house. Wide Right is a Buffalo Bills fan, and if you’re a fan of football you’ll understand why I christened him with that nickname! I will say that Wide Right prepares fantastic food! His au jus meatball subs were freakin’ awesome! I couldn’t get enough of his habanero queso dip, and the hotdogs he prepared for what I’ll call ’round two’ were fantastic.  I think we all ate too much and I’m certain we drank too much! It all felt like a Super Bowl party… IN WEEK TWO! I think we’re gonna have a fun season watching football… whether our teams win or lose!

Anyway… The Browns went down to Cincinnati yesterday. I was pretty confident going in that we could pull off a win, though I had some concerns Saturday night.

I believe the O line did pretty decent. They did allow a couple sacks on Weeden, but he wasn’t pressured too bad all day. He had time to throw and he threw well. After last weeks vomit inducing performance that netted Weeden a 5.1 passer rating, QB1 came out looking good: 26/37 for 322 yards, 2 TDs and 0.0000 INTs. Passer rating: 114.9. HELL YEAH WE’RE GOIN’ TO THE SUPER BOWL!!!

I see no fear in these eyes, as I saw last week…

 

Just kidding!!! Though there are Browns fans out there that actually believe that… They’re dumb…

Trent Richardson was an absolute beast yesterday. He had a nice 32 yard TD run and an awesome 23 yard catch and run for a TD. I believe he’s healthy and strong. Just hope he stays that way; and he’ll be the stud RB I predicted. 

Our WRs were bett… Holy shit! We had a Greg Little sighting, and not one that involved a dropped pass! He caught the ball and he got into the endzone for a TD!

There’s a nice little finger tribute to the suspended Joe Haden, #23!

Y’all don’t know how excited we were! I still have ‘Little’ faith in the WR; he needs to get more consistent.

AND….. the oft concussed Mohamed Massaquoi was our leading receiver, with 5 catches for 90 yards! Did you know that his performance yesterday, from a yardage standpoint, was 23.4% of last year’s output? For the entire season!!! Let’s not get all concussed again and keep kicking ass, MoMass!!

Two things killed us the most yesterday; leading to our 34-27 loss.

Special Teams looked like dogshit… allowing an 81 yard punt return for a TD by WR Adam Jones…

SEVEN MISSED TACKLES on that punt return…

And our defensive backfield was weak with Joe Haden serving a suspension for taking Adderall. Bengals QB Andy Dalton tossed a 10 yard TD to A.J. Green, who I feared the most…. but he also had a 44 yard TD pass to some dude named Brandon Tate and a 50 YARDER to Andrew Hawkins….

… in which the defense looked like a bunch of statues… They were horrible!

Yesterday was a huge improvement for Brandon Weeden, Trent Richardson and our offense overall after last weeks ineptitude. Our defense, however, took a step back. They gotta get their shit together before next week when the Bills come to town.

I watched a lot of the Bills trouncing of the Chiefs. Buffalo looks like a tough team. My confidence is at 0 right now… UGH!!

GO BROWNS!!!

Hug your children and love them every day…

Previous weeks:

Week 1: Eagles 17 ~ Browns 16 – The sickly debut of Brandon Weeden

Already Freakin’ Out about Tomorrow ~ Week Two ~ Browns @ Bengals

My pregame thoughts:

Last week, the Ravens and their no huddle offense absolutely OWNED the hapless Bengals. After that 44-13 loss, Cincinnati is certain to have a chip on their shoulder  when the hapless Browns come to town tomorrow.

Here are my major concerns…

O Line ~ You guys pretty much need to step up your overall performance this week. Mainly, though, make some holes for T-Rich! You didn’t do that last week! I’ve no doubt he’ll tear some shit up if y’all will help him out. Know who else you guys need to help out?

Weeden – I don’t believe Weeden is as shitty as he looked last week. That’s not a joke. It’s rare for a rookie to fire shit up in his first 60 minutes of professional football. That’s the first time he saw real game speed. I have faith that he’ll adjust. Just protect him so he can get the ball down field. Oh.. I know.. To who??

The WRs ~ Holy shit Greg Little!!! Why can’t you catch a football? JESUS, get it together or I’m gonna kick your big, athletic black ass! And Travis Benjamin… you’re so incredibly fast. Get off the line… Double move… Separation… Catch the ball… BOOM!… T-fuckin-D! MoMAss, watch your head concussion boy! Gordon, c’mon MAN! Run the correct routs and GET OPEN!

Coach Shurmer ~ Call some real football plays! How about some screen plays to get T-Rich out in space? Or stretch the field instead of those god awful 4 yard slants? Wanna play Madden with me? I’ll show ya how it’s done!

Coach Childress ~ See above. I may have mistakenly directed my anger at coach Shurmer. Wake up fucker!

Coach Jauron ~ I love, love, love you! Keep up the good work with your our young defense!

Cincy’s A.J. Green ~ Shit… Who’s gonna cover your ass tomorrow? With Haden out, for his first of four games, because of taking Adderall (Taking Adderall = raping 2 women… Bullshit!) you might just be running free all day tomorrow. Unless you sprain your ankle tonight! Or tomorrow! You ever hear about what T.J. Ward did to Jordan Shipley a couple years ago?

That’s YOU tomorrow A.J.! Lights out motherfucker! Be afraid. Be VERY afraid!

GO BROWNS!

Hug your children and love them every day…

Sexy Saturday ~ Keepin’ Things Sexy from Afar!

Last week I added a ‘Contact Me’ page to this site so my fans (and foes) can offer blog post ideas, submit guest blogs, ask questions or just comment to me directly. Unfortunately, I haven’t gotten a lot of traffic… Okay, I got one request.

From reader Elaine:

“You should do a Sexy Saturday about being sexy with someone from a distance! ; )”

Hmmm. I assume you’re talking a great distance? Not around the corner but like really far away? That’s a tough one, Elaine.

My only answer would be sexy text messages sexting and pictures! And I’d hope the parties involved would get a chance to see each other from time to time so they are allowed some physical contact.

If you’re a regular reader at forshiggles, Elaine, you know I’ve talked about Diane numerous times. She’s my dream girl but yet lives 362 miles away. We get to hang out here and there, but between visits would I send her sexy pictures of me? NO! There is no such thing as a sexy picture of me! OH HEY! Here’s me stepping out of the shower or BOING! Here’s my penis! She’d prolly never talk to me again!

Anyway, a lot of people DO send sexy pictures; whether it’s from around the corner or the other side of the planet… And I found some of those pictures! Yay interwebs!

Look as hard as you can… you won’t see a nipple in that one. I tried and bumped my face on the monitor!

G-L-U-T-E-S…. GLUTES! GLUTES! GLUTES!

Those bottoms are four sizes too small.. There is nothing wrong with that!

I say…. match the bottoms to the tan lines, or just ditch the bottoms altogether!

“Me love you long time!”

I struggle with this picture.. Stacey is quite attractive, but her outfit screams Dallas Cowboys. I say… git rid of the outfit altogether or try something more Browns oriented!

ASS! My favorite!

I didn’t check… but I assume there are are no rules stating that an outfit should match…

If you were looking for nipples, well here ya go! These ones are poorly covered… and I’m sure that’s by design!

I like the angle on this one… creative!

Oof! Nice shot! Really… perfect position!

Okay, I gotta stop or I’ll just keep posting pics on here…. I apologize for the next one, as I don’t try not to put nudity on here… but I couldn’t resist.

Isn’t she adorable? Except that her feet are dirty, and she hasn’t used a razor in a while…

Oh! THAT REMINDS ME… Diane did send me a sexy picture a ways back… of her foot!

Anyway… I didn’t forget about you ladies and men who like men! Here’s a shot I took while finishing my buddy’s basement…

Ha ha! That’s not me! That’s one of the Village People! I do have a toolbelt, though! Reminds me that I gotta get to the gym…

So there you have it, Elaine! All of this is what people do to keep things sexy when they’re too far away from each other to get crazy in person!

Enjoy the rest of your weekend folks!

Hug your children and love them every day…

Monday Moanin’ ~ Week One ~ Eagles @ Browns

Philly eeked out a 17-16 win against the Brownies… I believe it was a battle of two pretty good defenses! BUT….

Bench Weeden and put in the backup QB… Fire coach Shurmer… Fire Mike Holmgren… It’s because of the replacement referees… Trent Richardson blows… The O line blows… Our wide receivers are shit… Our defense is terrible…

That’s just a sampling of comments I heard from Browns fans during yesterday’s game against the Philadelphia Eagles.

As much as I love going to games at Cleveland Browns Stadium, I also loathe going to games at Cleveland Browns Stadium.

WHY?

Because 99.7% of Browns fans are incredibly unintelligent people who couldn’t successfully play flag football with a bunch of six year old boys; let alone coach those boys, yet they claim to know how to run an NFL franchise.

On to yesterday’s action… Like I said, I was there! Here I’ll address all the comments I mentioned above.

Bench Weeden and put in the backup QB ~

They started rolling out that huge flag and Cleveland’s QB1, Brandon Weeden,  got caught under it so the national media has been picking on the Browns, and Weeden ever since. Hell, the flag footage made “C’mon Man” tonight on ESPN.

Yes, B-Weed had a historically terrible game yesterday. He faced 2011’s 8th ranked Eagles defense and they kicked his ass! He looked lost! His timing and his throws were off target. Let’s see how all five of this years’ rookie QBs stacked up against the opposing defenses, shall we? No stats…. just Win/Loss.

• Andrew Luck ~ Lost against Chicago’s 17th ranked D… L 21-41
• Bob Griffin III ~ Destroyed the Saints’ 24th ranked D… W 40-32
• Ryan Tannehill ~ Struggled with Texan’s 2nd ranked D… L 10-30
• Brandon Weeden ~ Shit because of Philly’s 8th ranked D… L 16-17

These dudes were all first round picks… the final starting rookie, picked in the third round was…

• Russell Wilson ~ Lost to Arizona’s 18th ranked D… L 16-20

Make of that what you will, but I ain’t throwing the towel in on Weeden. Why? Rookies struggle…

But put in QB2? ~

Cleveland’s backup quarterback is the backup because he’s not the starter! When he was the starter he went 6-15. You think if you put him in he’s gonna light shit up? He’s never done that before but yet you think he will now? Against Philly?

Fire coach Shurmer ~

I will say that some of the play calling was questionable, especially at the end of the first half. But is that on offensive coordinator Brad Childress or coach Shurmer? I don’t know… I do know that Shurmer was stuck with our now backup QB for all of last year and that dude was just putrid.

Fire Mike Holmgren ~

Oh yeah…. like he has anything to do with the play on the field….

It’s because of the replacement referees ~

Ya know, I get really sick of people calling them scabs… The fuckin’ union referees won’t work until they get their pay/benefits raise, so these refs get belittled? The ones who just want a job? And the regular refs never make mistakes? Ha ha, right! The union refs are just as mistake prone as as the refs who want to work.

Trent Richardson blows ~

Yeah… the drunk dude two seats to my right kept saying how horrid T-Rich is. This was Trent’s first game. Period. He had no preseason contact to maybe get used to the speed of the NFL game. Give him time, douchebag, he’s gonna be a stud!

Also, Trent did this to Philly’s LB Kurt Coleman!

The O line blows ~

Philly’s D line is tough! And they have depth! I expected trouble there. Give ’em some time folks!

Our wide receivers are shit ~

I sort of agree with this one… Lots of drops. Greg Little seems to be an issue, here.

Our defense is terrible ~

This statement is just stupid…. Philly’s offense was the 4th ranked last year! Our D absolutely annihilated them, hitting or pressuring Michael Vick 19 times! A record for Vick and the most in the league the last two years… We kicked Vick’s ass!

Our defense is the backbone of our team, you drunk douche!

If anything, yesterday’s game was a defensive battle… one that the national media won’t recognize or talk about!

We both sucked today, coach!

Oh well… now we’re 0-1 and may never win a game again, if you listen to the national media! I guess we’ll see! I’m actually more confident about our game against Cincinnati next Sunday…

GO BROWNS!!!

Hug your children and love them every day…

Sexy Saturday ~ Some Women from The Office

WHOA! That headline makes it sound like I’m gonna post pictures of women that I work with.

No way! I’m certain that would get me in trouble and potentially make me another number to add to the actual 14.7% (HERE pg. 26) unemployment rate that Barack Obama has caused.

I’m talking about the hit comedy ‘The Office’! I used to watch The Office religiously, but I really don’t watch that much TV any more so I’ve sort of fallen out of the loop. I heard that this next season, beginning on September 20th, will be the final season. That’s a shame….

So here are some of my favorites. Mind you, these women don’t even compare to some of the women I’ve featured here on Sexy Saturday. But figure in a great sense of humor, which I find extremely sexy, and these women can hang with the sexiest of them.

Jenna Fischer (Pam Beesly)…

Pam brings the funny, the cleavage and sometimes even the sexy…

Ellie Kemper (Erin Hannon)…

Erin. Sexy, funny & ditzy!

Rashida Jones (Karen Filippelli)…

WOW!!! Click for a full size cut-out version!

I dunno what’s going on with her navel, but I’d like a closer look!

Angela Kinsey (Angela Martin)…

Even plain, boring, rule abiding Angela cleans up pretty nice…

I don’t think I ever noticed Angela’s legs while watching The Office….

… but DAMN she has a nice pair!

Anyway, I have a fun-filled, busy day today, so I gotta go! Enjoy the rest of your weekend, folks and tomorrow….GO BROWNS!

Hug your children and love them every day…