Daily Archives: September 10, 2012

Monday Moanin’ ~ Week One ~ Eagles @ Browns

Philly eeked out a 17-16 win against the Brownies… I believe it was a battle of two pretty good defenses! BUT….

Bench Weeden and put in the backup QB… Fire coach Shurmer… Fire Mike Holmgren… It’s because of the replacement referees… Trent Richardson blows… The O line blows… Our wide receivers are shit… Our defense is terrible…

That’s just a sampling of comments I heard from Browns fans during yesterday’s game against the Philadelphia Eagles.

As much as I love going to games at Cleveland Browns Stadium, I also loathe going to games at Cleveland Browns Stadium.

WHY?

Because 99.7% of Browns fans are incredibly unintelligent people who couldn’t successfully play flag football with a bunch of six year old boys; let alone coach those boys, yet they claim to know how to run an NFL franchise.

On to yesterday’s action… Like I said, I was there! Here I’ll address all the comments I mentioned above.

Bench Weeden and put in the backup QB ~

They started rolling out that huge flag and Cleveland’s QB1, Brandon Weeden,  got caught under it so the national media has been picking on the Browns, and Weeden ever since. Hell, the flag footage made “C’mon Man” tonight on ESPN.

Yes, B-Weed had a historically terrible game yesterday. He faced 2011’s 8th ranked Eagles defense and they kicked his ass! He looked lost! His timing and his throws were off target. Let’s see how all five of this years’ rookie QBs stacked up against the opposing defenses, shall we? No stats…. just Win/Loss.

  • Andrew Luck ~ Lost against Chicago’s 17th ranked D… L 21-41
  • Bob Griffin III ~ Destroyed the Saints’ 24th ranked D… W 40-32
  • Ryan Tannehill ~ Struggled with Texan’s 2nd ranked D… L 10-30
  • Brandon Weeden ~ Shit because of Philly’s 8th ranked D… L 16-17

These dudes were all first round picks… the final starting rookie, picked in the third round was…

  • Russell Wilson ~ Lost to Arizona’s 18th ranked D… L 16-20

Make of that what you will, but I ain’t throwing the towel in on Weeden. Why? Rookies struggle…

But put in QB2? ~

Cleveland’s backup quarterback is the backup because he’s not the starter! When he was the starter he went 6-15. You think if you put him in he’s gonna light shit up? He’s never done that before but yet you think he will now? Against Philly?

Fire coach Shurmer ~

I will say that some of the play calling was questionable, especially at the end of the first half. But is that on offensive coordinator Brad Childress or coach Shurmer? I don’t know… I do know that Shurmer was stuck with our now backup QB for all of last year and that dude was just putrid.

Fire Mike Holmgren ~

Oh yeah…. like he has anything to do with the play on the field….

It’s because of the replacement referees ~

Ya know, I get really sick of people calling them scabs… The fuckin’ union referees won’t work until they get their pay/benefits raise, so these refs get belittled? The ones who just want a job? And the regular refs never make mistakes? Ha ha, right! The union refs are just as mistake prone as as the refs who want to work.

Trent Richardson blows ~

Yeah… the drunk dude two seats to my right kept saying how horrid T-Rich is. This was Trent’s first game. Period. He had no preseason contact to maybe get used to the speed of the NFL game. Give him time, douchebag, he’s gonna be a stud!

Also, Trent did this to Philly’s LB Kurt Coleman!

The O line blows ~

Philly’s D line is tough! And they have depth! I expected trouble there. Give ’em some time folks!

Our wide receivers are shit ~

I sort of agree with this one… Lots of drops. Greg Little seems to be an issue, here.

Our defense is terrible ~

This statement is just stupid…. Philly’s offense was the 4th ranked last year! Our D absolutely annihilated them, hitting or pressuring Michael Vick 19 times! A record for Vick and the most in the league the last two years… We kicked Vick’s ass!

Our defense is the backbone of our team, you drunk douche!

If anything, yesterday’s game was a defensive battle… one that the national media won’t recognize or talk about!

We both sucked today, coach!

Oh well… now we’re 0-1 and may never win a game again, if you listen to the national media! I guess we’ll see! I’m actually more confident about our game against Cincinnati next Sunday…

GO BROWNS!!!

Hug your children and love them every day

Week 28 NASCAR Update ~ Danica Patrick Now Experiencing Hearing Loss!

This past weekend’s racing took place at Richmond International Raceway. This joint!

Once again, it was a night race weekend, featuring the Nationwide Series on Friday night and the Sprint Cup Series Saturday night.

Friday night, Austin Dillon rolled off 2nd and Danica 24th. You ever notice how bad Danica usually qualifies? Remember, when the drivers are qualifying, there is no one else on the track… Danica can’t even run well when she’s the only driver on the track!

I really didn’t watch the race, as I was busy cleaning and preparing for my friends to get here from Pennsylvania on Saturday, so we can all go to the Eagles at Browns game on Sunday.

As I’m cleaning the kitchen I hear, “CAUTION IS OUT… Danica Patrick is into the wall…” I run into the living room, plop down on the couch and check out the replays…

I’ve never told you all about spotters in NASCAR. See, driving one of these race cars is NOTHING like driving a regular car… yes, the cars have a rear view mirror so the drivers can see anything directly behind them and they have a small left side view mirror to see some of the action to their left, but overall the drivers’ vision is hindered by nightmarish blind spots. To help out with that, all the teams employ spotters. Spotters are situated above the grandstands so they have a view of the entire track. These spotters have a direct radio link to the drivers and basically keep  their driver informed about where other cars are located in relation to their position on the track. When there is close racing on the track you’ll normally hear the spotters telling their driver whether there is a car high or low on the track that the driver may not necessarily be able to see.

Prior to Danica’s crash, she was racing for position with Brad Sweet, who had the top lane while Danica occupied the next lane down. Brad appeared to be passing Danica on the high side but Danica started to drift up… Her spotter said, “Car high… Still there… Still there… Still at your quarter…” Danica continued to drift up… right into Brad’s car. The contact caused her car to turn into the wall, causing extensive damage…. and a 29th place finish; 32 laps down… Why didn’t she listen to her spotter? Is she deaf? Or worse yet, does she not feel it necessary to listen to her spotter?

Anyway…. Austin Dillon finished 6th and Kevin Harvick won the race…

I did not watch Saturday’s Sprint Cup race, as my PA friends were in town and we were out having a great time (more details on the visit are planned). Dale Earnhardt won the pole with the fastest qualifying time, led 67 laps, and ultimately finished 14th…

Clint Bowyer won the race…

The Sprint Cup Series now goes into what is called The Chase for the Sprint Cup. The Chase is essentially a playoff system devised by NASCAR to keep television ratings up. Prior to the 2004 season, when the Chase format was created, it was possible for a driver to have a large enough cushion in points this time of year that fans knew he was going to win the championship with 10 races to go. Why is “this time of year” so significant? BECAUSE THE NFL SEASON JUST STARTED!!! NASCAR is freaked the fuck out by losing viewers to football, and if a driver already appears to have clinched a championship why watch the races? They’ll just watch football! I know I did.

So, basically, the points for the top 12 drivers after the first 26 races have been realigned so that they are the only ones who can compete for the Sprint Cup Championship. Each was given 2000 points plus 3 bonus points for each win. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you your 2012 NASCAR Chase for the Sprint Cup drivers (I included their current 2012 winnings just for shiggles):

Driver Starting Points Winnings thus far
Denny Hamlin 2012 $5,316,970
Jimmie Johnson 2009 $6,097,510
Tony Stewart 2009 $5,115,100
Brad Keselowski 2009 $4,421,410
Greg Biffle 2006 $4,534,960
Clint Bowyer 2006 $3,982,290
Dale Jr. 2003 $4,372,840
Matt Kenseth 2003 $5,708,900
Kevin Harvick 2000 $4,311,250
Martin Truex Jr. 2000 $3,990,540
Kasey Kahne 2000 $3,564,340
Jeff Gordon 2000 $4,394,480

In case you were wondering, the 31 other drivers who will compete in each of the final 10 races are only racing for bragging rights and money.

Numbers after week 28:

Austin:

Starts Wins Top 5 Top 10 Avg. Start Avg. Finish
25 1 12 19 8.8 7.8

Dale…

Starts Wins Top 5 Top 10 Avg. Start Avg. Finish
26 1 10 17 15.0 9.9

Danica…

Starts Wins Top 5 Top 10 Avg. Start Avg. Finish
25 0 0 2 15.4 20.8

Hug your children and love them every day

Related Posts:

Week twenty seven
Week twenty six
Week twenty four/twenty five combo
Week twenty three
Week twenty two
Week twenty one
Week twenty
Week nineteen
Week eighteen
Week seventeen
Week sixteen
Week fifteen
Week fourteen
Week thirteen
Week twelve
Week eleven
Week ten