There was very little chance of me watching NASCAR this weekend. In getting Alexis ready for Homecoming yesterday I only checked in on the Nationwide Series race sporadically. The two top series’ split up this weekend, with Nationwide in Kentucky…
After Danica Patrick’s car owner, Dale Jr., fired his cousin, Tony Eury Jr., as her crew chief last week you’d expect different results from her… right? Did new crew chief Ryan Pemberton coax dear Danica to a win? Of course he didn’t! As a crew chief, you can really only look at information like fuel usage, tire wear and driver input… then make decisions and adjustments based on that information. When there’s a terrible woman driver behind the wheel, the only input he gets is bitching and whining and prolly a bunch of chatter about eyeliner and panties riding up in her firesuit!
Danica started 11th, struggled for most of the race, and finished 14th; two laps down. I’m sure Ryan Pemberton expects to get fired at the end of the season. OH! I just saw that he’s the interim crew chief, which means Dale Jr. has an ad on Craigslist; looking for a crew chief/magician for next year!
Austin Dillon? Dude started from the pole, led 65 of the 200 laps, and won that shit! His second of the year…. and both wins were from Kentucky! He’s so good, he prolly doesn’t even need a crew chief! Maybe he could sub his crew chief out to JR Motorsports for Danica so she could have TWO crew chiefs; then they could play rock, paper, scissors to make important decisions!
Here’s some love for A.D.:
This is not a crash…. but a victory burnout that ended up in the grass!
The Sprint Cup Series was at New Hampshire for week two of the Chase for the Sprint Cup…
I did not watch this race, as I invested all of my emotions into the hapless Browns only to watch them bumble their way to 0-3! Go Browns! UGH…
Fuckface Dale Jr. started 14th and finished 13th… good job, I guess, you family member firing douchebag!
The story of the week, however, was Denny Hamlin. I hate Toyota, because of that whole Pearl Harbor thing, so naturally I struggle with Toyota drivers… But Hamlin is a heck of a driver and he seems to be a stand up guy…
After last week, when he ran out of gas and shit the bed, he guaranteed a win this week at New Hampshire. He was crucified by the media for guaranteeing a win because, as far as the liberal media goes, confidence is a big NO NO!
Well… ya know what? Hamlin won that shit after leading 193 of the 300 laps. Here are some of his thoughts after the race…
I knew, once we got to about Lap 50 and started working our way to the sixth or seventh position — I knew that we had the winning car. It’s all those other things that you can’t control that can keep you out of Victory Lane. It’s the untimely caution, things like that.
Well… there were no untimely cautions, and dude has skills and a confidence that speaks directly to me…. so he won it!
Denny invokes Babe Ruth!
Numbers after week 30:
Austin:
| Starts | Wins | Top 5 | Top 10 | Avg. Start | Avg. Finish |
| 27 | 2 | 14 | 21 | 8.2 | 7.4 |
Dale…
| Starts | Wins | Top 5 | Top 10 | Avg. Start | Avg. Finish |
| 28 | 1 | 10 | 18 | 14.6 | 10.0 |
Danica… (not pictured… instead, here’s a picture that Adrianne Curry texted me)
| Starts | Wins | Top 5 | Top 10 | Avg. Start | Avg. Finish |
| 27 | 0 | 0 | 2 | 15.1 | 20.2 |
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Week twenty nine Week twenty eight Week twenty seven Week twenty six Week twenty four/twenty five combo Week twenty three Week twenty two Week twenty one Week twenty Week nineteen Week eighteen Week seventeen Week sixteen Week fifteen Week fourteen Week thirteen Week twelve Week eleven Week ten
For Shiggles 