Happy Birthday Dad…

Some of you may wonder why I am the way I am. Well, a lot of it has to do with that guy right there. That’s my Dad, Richard Charles Barnes! He would have been 65 years young today had we not lost him on July 25th, 1998 after a battle with brain cancer. He ain’t gone, though, because he’s in me. I’m thankful to have the following qualities… because of him…

I’m humorous…

I’m incredibly stubborn…

I know how to build stuff…

I work hard…

I play hard…

I argue when I know I’m right…

I’m a goofball…

I love technology and gadgets…

I’m charming…

I’m a Browns fan…

I love classic cars…

I love new cars…

I snore…

I’m an honest salesman…

I’m chivalrous…

I love the U.S. military…

I grew up with two beautiful sisters…

I love to grill…

I love to eat…

I like beer…

I love to do yardwork…

I’m a math whiz…

I’m a spelling and grammar nazi…

I help others…

I fight for what’s right…

I’m always optimistic…

I cry when Goose dies in ‘Top Gun’…

I strive to make others laugh…

I’m creative…

I love with all I’ve got…

I love to drive…fast…

I put everyone else before me…

I love you and miss you, Dad…

Fatty Finally Bought a Treadmill!

YES! I’ve been packin’ on the pounds lately and it’s time to work ’em off! I’ve been saving up for several months to buy a treadmill so I can do my cardio here at home and, once I’m light enough, get back to the gym for strength training!

It’s sort of funny… I bought this thing Saturday night, about 7:30, and brought it home. Dragging its 300 pounds out of the trunk of the Jetta and into the house really kicked my ass!

Assembly took like four hours because I was drinkin’ some beers and watching the 49ers game while putting it together.

Then, after the girls and I got going yesterday, I was excited to see them all fired up about the treadmill!

I let little Delana try it for a bit and she had some fun. I know… it’s not for the little ones, but she was excited! Alexis & Brooke fought about who’s turn was next! What would have been PlayStation time turned into exercise time!

They both did serious workouts yesterday. I was happy to see that!

I put in about 20 minutes this morning and whoo boy did it kick my ass! Damn am I out of shape!

And so it begins! Target: 180 pounds. That’s a lot of work, ’cause I’m sitting at 231 right now!

Sexy Saturday ~ NFL Divisional Playoffs Edition!

Before I get started I have a VERY IMPORTANT MESSAGE for all of you. Well, actually it’s for those of you in the local area from Cleveland to Pittsburgh… I’ve discovered the ultimate bacon at Giant Eagle! Among the many varieties they offer, one is their own brand. It’s a thick sliced peppered bacon! While some brands have shrunk their packages to as little as 12 ozs, Giant Eagles comes as a 24 oz. package. That’s a POUND AND A HALF for you democrats! 17 thick slices!

Also, I no longer fry bacon; I bake it! Try this: Line a cookie sheet (that has sides, dems!) with aluminum foil. Lay the bacon on the sheet (you may have to overlap it a bit to fit it all, but that’s okay). Put it in the oven AND THEN turn the oven up to 400 degrees (you don’t preheat when baking bacon). Depending on the thickness of the bacon it’ll take anywhere from 20-30 minutes to cook. This thick sliced Giant Eagle bacon takes thirty minutes. At the 15 minute mark I remove the pan, un-overlap the bacon, and put it in for another 15 minutes. Simply. Delightful!!!

It takes some adjusting to get it perfect, depending on your oven and, like I said, the thickness of the bacon, but once you get it down, you’ll never wanna fry bacon again!

Now that I’ve made you hungry, guess I’ll make ya horny too!

Here are today’s NFL Divisional matchups!

Representing the AFC we have the Baltimore Ravens…

…at the Denver Broncos…

I’m going with Denver on this one. Look at the position, and the boots, the Broncos cheerleaders are utilizing. I mean… WOW!

Also, Peyton Manning and the rest of the Broncos offense are nearly unstoppable. They go into that no huddle, hurry up shotgun offense and opposing defenses just can’t keep up!

Even that tough Ravens D will get shredded today. All the emotion from Ray Lewis retiring won’t be enough to slow down Manning. Today will be Ray Ray’s last game.

And Joe Flacco can’t hide his douchebaggery two weeks in a row. Anquan Boldin saved his ass last week. Denver’s D won’t allow that to happen.

I say: Denver 34 ~ Baltimore 17

Tonight’s NFC matchup is the Green Bay Packers….

… at the San Francisco 49ers…

I see Green Bay winning this one. HA! You thought I was only gonna base my picks on the teams’ cheerleaders, didn’t you? Well Green Bay doesn’t even have cheerleaders, so I had to picture QB Aaron Rodgers frolicking with his girlfriend, Destiny (There’s a stripper name!) Newton.

A quick thought on cheerleaders in the NFL. 26 of the 32 teams have cheerleaders; that’s 81%. Is it any wonder that 87% of the teams still alive in the playoffs have cheerleaders? NO! Cheerleaders are absolutely necessary for a team to be successful. Am I contradicting myself by saying that Green Bay will be successful without cheerleaders? ABSOLUTELY. I’m hoping my Browns finally get some cheerleaders! The new owner keeps talking about putting a good product on the field for the fans to watch. I can’t imagine they’re talking about the team!

I believe this might be the best game of the weekend. Gonna be pretty close in my opinion. The difference in this game will be the Packers defense. If they can shut down Frank Gore, like they did Adrian Peterson last week, and force Colin Kaepernick to throw the ball…. game over.

Green Bay also has so many damn ways to move the ball, I see them wearing down San Fran’s D.

I say: Green Bay 37 ~ San Francisco 34

Tomorrow’s early game, the NFC matchup, features the Seattle Seahawks…

… at the Atlanta Falcons…

Seahawks all the way! Loogit them cheerleaders!

The tandem of Seattle QB Russell Wilson and RB Marshawn Lynch will make the difference in this game. The read-option shit is awesome and will give the weak Falcon’s D fits.

If Seattle’s D can rattle Matt Ryan a bit, he’ll choke again. The dual threat of Roddy White and Julio Jones will mean nothing. Falcon’s RB Michael Turner is a fat tub of goo and will be a non factor.

I say: Seattle 24 ~ Atlanta 14

The AFC matchup tomorrow is the Houston Texans…

… at the New England Patriots…

GOD I despise tom Brady. He’s the whiniest QB in the history of the league. Even if a defender merely brushes up against him, he cries for a flag.

It’s no wonder that his horse faced “supermodel” wife looks more manly than he does.

That was rude of me to say… Only her horse face is more manly, because Gisele Bundchen has other ASSets…

Oops! I almost forgot I was talking about football games here…

As much as I hate to do it, I gotta go with New England winning this one…

Like the Packers, New England has too many ways to move the ball for Houston to hang in there. Ridley runs pretty well, then they use that little douche Danny Woodhead pretty effectively. As for throwing, Brady is the master! He throws to so many targets; Welker, Lloyd, the TEs Gronkowski & Hernandez (if Hernandez is limited, look for a big game by TE Michael Hoomanawanui), and that little douche Woodhead!

For Houston, Matt Shaub really only has one clear target; WR Andre Johnson. If the Pats can shut him down, I don’t see the Texans having much of a chance.

I expect Texans RB Arian Foster to have a good game, both running and receiving. Did you guys know Foster is a vegan? That means he’s definitely taking HGH! Nobody maintains that much muscle mass by eating dandelions…

I say: Patriots 41 ~ Texans 17

This is the only of my picks in which I’ll be rooting against the eventual winner. I do not want the Pats to win and will be rooting for the Texans. I’m just being realistic with my pick.

Alright… this IS Sexy Saturday, so here are my inclusions for the ladies and men who like men…

49ers QB Colin Kaepernick…

Patriots TE Rob Gronkowski…

 

And a Tom Brady slideshow!

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Enjoy the rest of your weekend, folks! Go Broncos! Go Packers! Go Seahawks! Go Texans!

Hi-fi Friday! Eddie Money!

I’m sure everybody’s seen the following commercial in which Eddie Money appears to be an idiot, or a drunk… or both….

I hate it… because I like Eddie Money! So here’s the proper representation of the song in that stupid commercial…

~ Two Tickets to Paradise ~

That’s some good stuff there!

Then, way back in high school, I had a huge crush on my sister’s friend. My sister didn’t approve of me “making a move on her,”  because it was apparently “gross” so I never had a chance to say, “Hey Elaine, check out this tune, because it totally makes me think about you… let’s do it!”

~ Take Me Home Tonight ~

Unfortunately, that never worked out… Couple years later, Eddie came out with the following video. It features a really hot model who is, for some reason, really angry. Ya know how difficult it is to rub one out to a video with a hot, angry woman in it who, at times, appears to be wearing a diaper?

~ Walk On Water ~

That was a very confusing video for 15 year old me. I Google searched for like 7 minutes just now and could not find out who that woman was….

Anyway… my Cleveland Browns just hired a new head coach and I’m pretty excited about it, so I need to delve into that subject…

Enjoy your weekend folks!

This NFL Concussions Thing Finally Hit Home….

No… I didn’t slip on the ice yesterday morning and concuss myself, though I damn near did! Only thing that saved me was my cat-like reflexes; hell, I didn’t even spill any coffee!

It’s hard for me to feel bad for what NFL players go through when all I hear about is seven to nine figure contracts.

Then I hear about concussions. I see concussions happen on live TV in beautiful High Definition. I damn near shit my pants with joy when a safety dislodges the ball from a receiver with a brutal hit like this…

I never think about the after effects of that brutal hit. These dudes get paid a LOT of money to play a dangerous game.

Enter Bernie Kosar…

I X’d out Satan Art Modell by the way! I bought new photo editing software and that’s the best I could figure out how to do. Oooh wait’ll I really figure it out!

Anyway… anyone who knows me knows my favorite Browns player from back in the day was Bernie. Hell, I named my dog after him!

Of course my Dad had me excited in the Browns from a very young age, but when I was 6 years old, cheering for Brian Sipe, I was merely mimicking my Dad’s joy… and pain. By the time I had begun to grasp the concept of football, Bernie Kosar was the Browns QB. Cleveland went to the playoffs 5 YEARS IN A ROW with Bernie under center!

Bernie wasn’t the most athletic QB. There’s actually a good chance he was one of the least athletic QBs! He threw a mean ass, weird looking sidearm pass, but dude didn’t move very well.

He got his ass kicked… concussed numerous times. But back then, players would continue to play after getting knocked the fuck out, and quarterbacks weren’t protected from bone jarring hits like Tom Brady they are today.

Bernie hasn’t been right for a while because of it.

He’s called Browns preseason games for years and, even though what he says is brilliant, has sounded drunk or on pills. I’ve defended him, knowing his history of concussions, but maybe he was on something.

Turns out Bernie is actually doing something to fix his concussed brain instead of merely suing the NFL as many others are doing.

When I saw him talking about how this stuff has messed up his life for so long it finally hit me…

I got all choked up watching that video… but good for you, Bernie! Maybe some of these other ex-players will quit grabbing for cash from the NFL and do more to fix their own concussed brains…

More Documents for “Undocumented Immigrants”?

That’s the first and last time you’ll see me typing the words, “Undocumented Immigrants.” Shit… that’s twice!

Okay… NO MORE!

I’m not gonna be politically correct! Men, women and children who jumped a fence or hid in the back of a truck or trunk of a car to sneak into this country are not here legally. They didn’t perform the proper procedures necessary to become citivens. That makes them illegal. Let’s not call ’em undocumented to make ’em feel better. If they were legal, they’d have documents to prove it!

I also struggle with the “immigrant” label because, according to Webster, an immigrant is: A person who comes to live permanently in a foreign country.

Oops!

I guess by that definition they are immigrants. But they’re still illegal, so let’s not sugarcoat it!

I stumbled across this article and boy was I steamed! Not that it matters what I think, but I’ll share some of it with ya anyway… here’s the headline:

Illinois Approves Driver’s Licenses for Undocumented Immigrants

The proposed law breezed through the Illinois House and Senate with bipartisan support, giving 250,000 undocumented immigrants in the state the opportunity to have a valid temporary driver’s license.

Why? What’s the poin… WAIT! 250,000 illegals in Illinois??? Are you serious? I know Chicago is corrupt, but that’s a different kind of illegal. I’m sort of shocked… I say it’s all for votes, somehow, since Illinois is infested with controlled by Democrats.

Supporters say the new law will improve highway safety by decreasing the number of traffic deaths on Illinois roads. Late this afternoon, Gov. Pat Quinn praised lawmakers for passing the bill: “More than 250,000 immigrant motorists on our roads today have not passed a driving test, which presents a dangerous risk to other drivers. Illinois roads will be safer if we ensure every driver learns the rules of the road and is trained to drive safely.”

Whoa… whoa… WHOA! If the democrats’ answer to decreasing gun violence is decreasing guns, why wouldn’t the same logic apply to decreasing traffic deaths? Decrease the traffic deaths by decreasing the number of undocumented illegal drivers! Get rid of ’em! Simple! Oh, but there’s no logic in politics nowadays. The dems are merely  adding voters.

But some aren’t happy with the new law…

Immigrant advocate Cristobal Cavazos said the new law will be ineffective and only goes to show that systemic change of the nation’s immigration system is still badly needed.

I agree! Systemic change IS badly needed. But what change will that be? I haven’t a clue! But I’m gonna think about it! More Cristobal…

“You’re giving all your information over to the same institution that is targeting you, so there is a mistrust. There’s going to be a concern there. And there’s going to be a hesitation if there’s not a legalization,” he said. “People are afraid to come out of the shadows because they are not documented.”

THEN GET DOCUMENTED! By all means, get documented!

Oftentimes my thoughts evolve as I’m writing these things, and this is a prime example. I only wanted to pick on the state of Illinois for their asstardery, not get into the huge problem in this country that is immigration.

But fixing immigration needs to happen. Unfortunately, the Obama administration will do absolutely nothing because why should they tarnish their track record of doing nothing?

I have some thoughts, though! As I said earlier, “get rid of ’em” isn’t an answer, so now a softer Greg emerges.

Based on this article, the U.S. spends more on immigration enforcement alone ($18 Billion) than it spends on the FBI, Drug Enforcement Administration (DEA), Secret Service, U.S. Marshals Service, and Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms, and Explosives (ATF) COMBINED ($14.4 Billion). That’s ridiculous because it isn’t working!

So let’s embrace our 12,000,000 illegal immigrants and make ’em legal! I’m talkin’ amnesty, folks… but not FREE amnesty, because freedom ain’t free!

The Federal Government feels they can just increase taxes on the job creators (Read: rich) upwards of 40% to increase revenues. That’s bullshit! Why not hold those who have come here illegally accountable? They’ve been here, worked here and have made money here! They’re paid under the table. The only taxes they pay are sales taxes. They haven’t paid their dues.

So if they wanna be legal American citizens, it’s $200 a head (yeah, I pulled that number outta my ass)! It need not be a big deal either. The employers of illegals should provide the means for their workers to become citizens by having $200 per worker and family member deducted from their paycheck. You pay, you’re legal! Simple!

Think about it Barack! $200 x 12,000,000! That’s $2.4 BILLION up front in revenues!

As for the employers who clearly hide the illegals and pay them under the table, maybe the government could provide them with a tax incentive based on the number of employees they “sign on as Americans.”

More later…

A Look Back on Wild Card Weekend…

I started writing a post Saturday, before the NFL playoff games started, but ran short on time and relegated it to the trash… I reincarnated it to pull out some good background material even for this post, namely how the playoffs work.. Here’s what I wrote Saturday…

It’s Wild Card Weekend ~ All NFL Games Should be Good from Here on Out!

Right? God I hope so! I’ve watched sixteen weeks of somewhat shitty football watching Browns games. I’m hoping all the games from today until Super Bowl XLVII (Let’s just drop the Roman numerals already and call it 47, alright?) are fun to watch!

There are twelve teams in play now. Here’s a quick look at how the NFL playoffs work…

There are two conferences in the NFL; the American Football Conference (AFC) and the National Football Conference (NFC). Each conference is comprised of four divisions; North, South, East and West. Each division has four teams. That makes 32 teams. 20, including my beloved Browns every year, don’t make the postseason.

This weekend is known as Wild Card Weekend. The top two teams in each conference earn a bye, meaning they don’t have to play this weekend because they’re the best of the best! This includes the Broncos and Patriots for the AFC and the Falcons and 49ers of the NFC.

The remaining 8 teams are the aforementioned wildcards who play this weekend. That includes the Texans, Ravens, Colts and Bengals of the AFC and the Packers, Redskins, Seahawks and Vikings of the NFC.

I’m just gonna focus on today’s games because it’s like 10 minutes until kickoff…

…. and that’s where I ran out of time and scrapped the post. So now I’ll just look back on this weekend’s games.

Saturday’s early game was the Cincinnati Bengals at the Houston Texans. Prior to the game I had Cincy winning it 24-17. Boy was I wrong…

Houston’s defense was more than the Bengals could handle. I’m really starting to like this J.J. Watt dude, defensive end for the Texans. After swatting down an Andy Dalton pass, he did this…

…. and cracked me up! He’s a fantastic ball player and a funny guy!

The Bengals only TD came on an interception returned by Leon Hall. Their other two scores were FGs.

Oh… don’t think the Texans were some kind of offensive powerhouse. The only powerhouse was their RB Arian Foster who ran for 140 yards and a TD. The rest of their scoring was 4 FGs by ex-Bengal Shayne Graham.

The 19-13 win advanced the Texans. Next Sunday they play the Patriots, who I’m sure will crush them.

As I’m writing this, I had The Biggest Loser on in the background and I kept hearing (and watching) Jillian Michaels…

…. and she threw off my concentration, so I switched over to the GoDaddy.com Bowl featuring Kent State at Arkansas State. GO FLASHES!

Anyway, Saturday’s late game was the Minnesota Vikings at the Green Bay Packers. I was pulling for the Vikes because I love me some Adrian Peterson! Didn’t work out to well for them, though…

The Packers were hitting on all cylinders and Minnesota didn’t have much of a chance. From a defensive standpoint, they had the right gameplan. Here’s what CB Charles Woodson had to say:

No disrespect to Ponder, but … it’s about one guy and that’s Adrian Peterson. Our main focus, whether it was Ponder or Webb, was to keep 28 (Peterson) from getting off. And if we were going to keep him from getting off, put the ball in the quarterback’s hands, whatever quarterback it was, we felt good about what was going to happen.

He was referring to Christian Ponder, the Vikes starting QB, who didn’t start. In his place was Colt McCoy Joe Webb, who was horrendous.

And Green Bay’s QB Aaron Rodgers has so many freakin’ weapons at his disposal it makes me sick! DuJuan Harris, James Jones, Tom Crabtree, Greg Jennings John Kuhn and Jordy Nelson.

Anyway, Green Bay went on to win 24-10… and it wasn’t even that close because Webb threw a TD for the Vikings in garbage time… The Packers play the 49ers Saturday night. I expect it to be a good game…

So yesterday…. as much as I dislike the Colts and as much as I hate the Ravens, I gave the Ravens my blessing over the Colts in the early game, as I figured they’d win it.

I was right. Colts QB Andrew Luck looked like a rookie in his first playoff game. Nothing against Luck… hell, he was playing against the Ravens D. Even the great QBs, like Cleveland’s Brandon Weeden, struggle against Baltimore’s defense!

Baltimore’s Joe Flacco only completed 12 passes… but for 282 yards! God that dude bugs me! He wants to be mentioned in the same breath as Manning and Brady, but most of the time he’s a pedestrian QB at best. Anquan Boldin made Flacco the man yesterday. But, as they say, Flacco wins games…

The pregame/postgame stuff featuring Ray Lewis, because of his impending retirement, was actually quite touching…

… Much respect! The dude is still a beast at 37 years old and a genius running that defense. I am so happy his God spewing ass is gone hate to see him go.

Baltimore handily defeated the Colts 24-9. Next week won’t be so easy, when they go to Denver. Peyton Manning will make that defense his bitch.

In the late game yesterday, the Seahawks played the Redskins on what appeared to be some field somewhere in Iraq, though it turned out to be FedEx Field. I don’t understand how an NFL owner could have such a shitty field in his stadium, especially in the playoffs!

The Redskins started off strong while the ‘Hawks sputtered to get going. After a pretty quick 14-0 lead, RGIII’s leg fell off the wheels fell off the wagon for Washington. Actually, RGIII became slower and slower. Dude was clearly hurt, but his stupid coach left him in the game…

At the same time, Seattle’s QB Russell Wilson got hot and gashed the Redskins D; running and passing. The tandem of Russell Wilson and RB Marshawn Lynch are incredibly dangerous.

What seems to be the defining moment of the game, though it was halfway through the 4th quarter and Seattle had scored 21 unanswered points to put them ahead 21-14, was when RGIII’s knee actually did fall apart…

… Shame on Mike Shanahan for keeping RGIII in the game after he was clearly hurting early in the game. He didn’t get up after his knee bent like that.

Right now, they’re saying he has partial tears in both his ACL and LCL. I assume he’s gonna need surgery, when he might not have had he been pulled earlier in the game.

Seattle won the game 24-14 and now plays the Falcons next Sunday. I think Seattle has a shot, but we shall see!

For now, FUCK YOU Mike Shanahan for hurting your franchise QB as much as you did….

Now it’s time to watch Alabama beat down Notre Dame!

ROLL TIDE!!!

For Anyone Else Wondering who that Hot Girl is in the DirecTV Commercials…

The latest DirecTV commercial features their new “Genie” technology where apparently one can record 5 shows at once. Well, to be honest, while watching this Bengals/Texans game I didn’t really pay attention to the technology in the commercial as much as I did the girl who is the “Genie.”

She’s stunning! So I looked her up and found out she’s a 22 year old IMG model named Hannah Davis…

And then I saw a story that said she’s rumored to be dating Yankees’ 38 year old shortstop Derek Jeter…

SERIOUSLY??? Can’t this dude stay off the hot girls and let ’em make their way out of New York and maybe into my area for once?

Dammit, Jeter, GO AWAY!

UPDATE! Featuring ASS…

Sexy Saturday ~ Let it Snow!

No, forget that… Seriously… DON’T let it snow! I don’t like it! Yeah, it’s pretty to look at and all, but the presence of snow that doesn’t melt is a sure sign that it’s freakin’ cold out there!

And driving in that crap is terrible! Shit.. I can hold my own, even with crappy tires on my Jetta [Note to self: Make appointment with Enger Goodyear to get some new rubber] but all the other wackos out there seem like they’re out to kill me. Put a 37 year old woman in an AWD Mountaineer and she thinks she’s immortal and flies down Pearl Rd. at 50 MPH in 6 inches of that pretty stuff. Then she stabs the brakes and puts the vehicle into a series of spins thus converting it into a 4,500 lb killing machine..

I think the best part of the cold and snow is watching sexy athletes compete in it!

Like X Games 4 time gold medalist Gretchen Bleiler…

Oh… but that’s too many layers Gretchen!

Alright… nude is MUCH better! Man, she’s ripped! How about one more… maybe when she’s not doping for competition…

Okay… on to a slightly more successful snowboarder, Hannah Teter, who wn gold in the ’06 Winter Olympics…

Hard to tell that’s a woman, right?

She certainly is! And check this out…

Whoo boy does she have a nice ass! I dunno what she’s thinkin’ wearing those baggy jeans and flannels!

Let’s move on to skiing, shall we? Here is Olympic Gold Medalist Lindsey Vonn..

At least she gets to wear better gear than the snowboarders! I gotta say, though, that these skiers have some balls for navigating those slopes! Lindsey cleans up pretty nicely, however…

She’s so cute and looks all cuddly!

And, upon further review, she doesn’t have any balls!

Here’s one for the ladies and men who like men… Minnesota Vikings’ RB Adrian Peterson…

… HE’S got balls! Dude’s a beast of a running back, great teammate and all around good guy. Last week, he missed beating out Eric Dickerson’s single season rushing yards record by only 9 yards… Peterson won’t be playing in any snow tonight at Lambeau field, but it’s gonna be pretty damn cold; mid 20s… he cleans up pretty well too.

Enjoy the rest of your (Wild Card) weekend folks!

Hi-fi Friday! In Which I Apologize to Ted Nugent!

I’ve always been a big fan of Ted Nugent… all the way back to his earlier stuff like this…

~ Cat Scratch Fever ~

Who doesn’t know that tune? Ted’s an absolute phenom on stage; and a hell of a guitarist!

He also had his stint with them Damn Yankees, which was a pretty big commercial success… Here’s another one that everyone knows!

~ High Enough ~

Dude cracks me up… he’s just bat shit crazy and that solo is great but hilarious!

In case you didn’t know, Ted’s been an avid hunter forever. He was friends with Fred Bear who is widely regarded as a pioneer in the bow hunting community and died in 1988. In 1995, Ted released a new album, Spirit of the Wild, which included a tribute to Fred Bear and appropriately titled…

~ Fred Bear ~

Ted’s also a very proud American who sits on the board of the National Rifle Association who, according to the liberal media, are the ones who commit all of the mass shooting murders.

Well, back in April, I blasted Ted Nugent for some stupid comments he made at an NRA event and disowned him as my Uncle Ted. Looking back, I believe Ted just spouted off and said the wrong shit; though his message was accurate. He clearly doesn’t ad lib very well!

Give Ted Nugent time to sit down, think things through and propose real changes and he becomes magnificent!

What follows is Ted’s open letter to dipshit Vice President Joe Biden after Biden was tasked with leading the commission to end gun related violence. You can go to that link, but I’ve included the full text here…

NUGENT: Open letter to Joe Biden on guns

‘Gun control’ won’t save lives

Joe,

Congratulations on your appointment to lead a presidential commission to end gun-related violence.

As a National Rifle Association board member, husband, father, grandfather, law enforcement officer and genuinely concerned American, I too want nothing more than to see evil, senseless massacres stopped. I concur with the president and caring people everywhere: It’s time to end these slaughters.

As you gather your team to study massacres and how to stop them, I offer to you my services and a lifetime of expertise on guns in all their implementations. While I strongly differ with President Obama on many issues, I agree with him that we must work with all we can possibly muster to end these tragedies.

As you begin to formulate your thoughts on how to proceed with your task, I hope your starting point is to provide the president with the facts regarding these slaughters and to offer him common-sense recommendations that are void of a political agenda and will actually make a meaningful difference. If the American people smell a political agenda here, that will only bog down our efforts.

In the spirit of goodwill and a deep desire to end gut-wrenching, incredibly sad and senseless rampages, I offer you the following recommendations:

I encourage you to persuade the president to lead this effort by providing a number of public service announcements. The announcements should include watching out for each other, encouraging parents to be more involved in their children’s lives regarding entertainment choices, and knowing various indicators we should watch for in people who are unstable.

Clearly, the focus on solving these mass murders must be on the mentally ill. In almost every instance of mass killing, there were ample red flags and warning alarms that either were avoided or were not acted upon by mental health professionals, family members, friends and acquaintances. While I deeply respect an individual’s privacy and civil liberties, the American people need basic awareness of what indicators to look for regarding potentially violent, psychotic people. Our collective safety begins with being collectively vigilant.

You will find in your assessment that all of the massacres have occurred in gun-free zones. What gun-free zones create is an environment where good people are unarmed and virtually defenseless against an unstable person intent on committing mass murder. Gun-free zones are modern killing fields. I implore you to recommend that Congress pass a law to ban gun-free zones immediately.

Just like your full-time, armed security detail, qualified citizens with authorized, legal concealed-carry permits should be able to carry weapons virtually everywhere to protect themselves, their loved ones and innocents.

I also implore you to strongly consider recommending that trained school officials have access to weapons to protect students. Just as airline pilots may have access to a weapon to prevent another Sept. 11 mass murder, school officials also should be trained to stop shooting sprees at our schools.

I don’t encourage you to recommend a ban on any weapon, magazine capacity or type of ammunition. That won’t accomplish anything other than prevent the 99.9 percent of responsible, law-abiding Americans from enjoying these modern weapons as we do now. We should never recommend or develop public policy that restricts the rights of the good guys based upon what evil people do or might do. If that were the case, alcohol still would be banned. As you may know, drunk drivers kill an estimated 12,000 Americans each year and hurt tens of thousands more.

I encourage you also to keep this misnamed “gun violence” in perspective. While all deaths are tragic, the vast majority of gun-related murders and violence are committed by gang members who do not use guns that look like — but do not perform like — military assault weapons. The majority of crimes that involve a firearm are committed with handguns. I concurred with you back in 2008 when you stated, “If [Mr. Obama] tries to fool with my Beretta, he’s got a problem.” I trust you still maintain those sentiments.

Again, I offer you my services and a lifetime of expertise. I look forward to hearing from you.

Sincerely,

Ted Nugent

I apologize for disowning you Uncle Ted! Can I call you Uncle again? Please?